interferring mothers

Hey ladies

This isnt about me, its about my friend and her baby ( the one who's birth i went to)
I feel really bad for my friend, considering that before bubs birth she'd never even changed a nappy in her life shes doing such a good job,breastfeeding came naturally and bubs has been steadily gaining weight-shes 5weeks and weighs 11.5 ibs....But my friend's mum is being such a downer!!!
When my friend was pregnant, she didnt want to know-didnt want her to keep the baby etc, only got excited once my friend started gaining weight, all thru the labour was undermining everything the midwife said and now that bubs is here is completly trying to take over.
She doesnt think my mate should breastfeed anymore, really its cos she didnt with her kids and i think feels jealous that my friends doing such a good job but she tells my friend that her milk isnt good enough and its the reason she spits up and why shes always hungry and when i was round there yesterday (my friend lives with her parents to make matters worse) she and her friend were trying to tell me to convince my friend to put her on formula (obviously i said no way-she feeds how she wants to feed)
I saw her today and i said, u know at the end of the day YOU are the one whos gonna raise her so u gotta do what works for u and baby and u feed how u want to etc and she agrees ....but im worried shes gonna cave in and parent the way her mum and parents friends want rather than how she wants.

Anyone else delt with mums/mils like this? and how did u handle it?

makes me appreciate my mum-she was excited to hear of caitlyn and shes always let me parent MY way

sorry about the novel-warner bros have bought the rights to the book and are making it into a movie this year

no thats a huge help! cos i know when her mum bullies her bout breastfeeding my friend doesnt actually know much about it apart from that its good for baby and she doesnt have to take a bottle with her (which according to her mum is "laziness" anyway!)

so i'll suggest ur idea -i'll get some books and info for her on breastfeeding and that way she can have some proven facts to back her case up...just in case her mum doesnt let up.

Thanks for ur help hun

Show your friend these links re: breastfeeding..

La Leche League Breastfeeding info

Kelly Mom - breastfeeding and parenting advice

I think another thing she could do is sit her Mum down and really confront her about it. She could just say to her that she is breastfeeding her baby as that is what she wants to do and it is her choice and though she knows she doesn't agree with it, her constant criticism is really upsetting her and she would appreciate it if she could keep her negative thoughts on that topic to herself. Often people don't know they are being as awful as they are as they are just trying to get their opinions across. Obviously this is alot easier said than done though!

One of my "passive agressive" techniques I use on my MIL (as I haaate confrontation) is that I tell her "stories" about my "friend" and her awful mother who does this and that- usually changing a few bits. Like Robyn experienced with her coworker- my MIL used to tell me how she slept her kids on their tums and how we should do that with Charlotte so I told her about a girl whos mother had babysat and even though she slept her baby on its back the Mum put it on its front while she had it and it stopped breathing and they only just caught it in time (acutally a true story but you get my drift).

If she has access to a computer you could put her on to here as well- even if you don't actually do anything about it it can be so helpful just to vent to people who understand where you are coming from.

re-her telling her mum and friends to back off...i wish she would!shes always been very under her mums thumb...but she needs to stand up for herself otherwise shes going to sacrifice a lot of things she wants to do with her baby


thanks sooooo much for the help ladies -u really came thru !(as usual)