You really only get problems if you are using it long term. Steroid cream can thin the skin and eyelids are thin to start with so use sparingly. A tiny spot on your finger first. As for getting it in the eyes...I imagine it would sting. I'd try and avoid it but it wouldnt be the end of the world if she rubbed a little in. Topical steroids (usually as drops) in the eye can cause cataracts if used long term (and depends on the steroids...some penetrate through the eye really well, others sit on the surface and treat the surface) you can also cause a rise in pressure in susceptible people (but you wouldnt know you were).....anyway. you arent using drops in the eye so that wont matter....just giving you some better facts.
bottom line, if dermatologist said its ok and she is really suffering I would just use sparingly (pretend its liquid gold)