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mrs frantic View Drop Down
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    Posted: 01 May 2006 at 1:16pm
This is goign to sound horrible but I am having trouble coming to terms with my pregnant body, I am only half way and I already feel fat and gross, I feel uncomfortable and like my body has been taken over by some little alien and that I am just this host being feeding and peeing (peeing a LOT!)...I know logically taht what my body is doing is amazing but emotionally I am feeling quite down about it all...it seems so selfish too! I mean who cares if you cant fit into your jeans if you are growing a healthy lovely baby, but somehow i do...I feel miserable and I know this isnt a nice this to say but I dont like being pregnant, infact I think I pretty much hate it...like I said very un-PC and all, I wish I was just glowing and running about telling everybody how much I love being pregnant, but I just dont feel like that no matter how much I tell myself I shoudl feel like that, I just feel fat and bloated and unattractive and there is no near end to this in sight...why cant I be one of the happy lovely pregnant laides instead of a moody, teary, resentful hippo-like creature...?
ahhhh sorry, I know there is nothing any of you can say to this, I just wanted to rant...
Mrs Frantic
Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006
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MILF View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MILF Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 1:24pm
maybe you need to wait a few months till you have a lovely preggy belly - it may put things into perspective some more for you. I loved gaining weight during pregnancy, but loathed how i looked after xanthe was born. even knowing that i was breastfeeding and doing a good thing for her wasnt enough - i felt like crap! this will pass, and you have us here to vent to until it does. how bout you post up a belly pic for us all to coo over?
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Paws View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paws Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 1:46pm
I often feel the same way sweetie...there have been times lately when I love being pregnant and feeling baby kick and I know the scan will make it all worth it...but I go through many times of feeling truely fat and whale like!

I'm starting to like my bump a bit more now that it is looking more bump like and not flubbery.

That said I was mortified this morning when a customer asked if this was my last week of work. I stared at her before saying..."er no....I have another 16 to go before start maternity leave". Way to make me feel good! At least I've been lucky and plenty of people tell me how good I'm looking - even though I don't feel great it is nice to be told I'm looking it!

Big hugs to you!

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robyn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote robyn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 1:47pm
I feel like this too and everyone keeps saying I should enjoy being pregnant especially since we dont plan on having anymore kids but I just feel huge and miserable really. Sorry no advice but you are not alone!
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mamawendz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mamawendz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 1:48pm
hey frantic... hope your rant made you feel a little better at least?
I'm with Lyla, maybe giving it another month or so until your 'bump' starts to show alot better will help how you are feeling?
in all honesty, i felt like crap until I was about 20 weeks i think it was? i was sick until 16 weeks then the next month I just felt frumpy and yuk... but then when I got closer to 25 weeks i started to get alot of energy, and people started to tell me i was looking beautiful and i just felt so proud about my bump and wanted to show it off to anyone!! haha
Just give it a little time. I know exactly what you mean and hopefully you will feel better soon in a few weeks!
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My Girls: Maddisyn Tylr & Layla-Mei Virginia
My Baby Boy: Noah Aotearoa
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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 1:51pm
I'm in the frumpy and yuck stage too. The babies are definitely growing - I went to put my leg up on the basin to dry myself after my shower and my belly got in the way - but I just have a flabby tummy not a baby belly. So I just look fat(ter than usual).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Two Blondinis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 1:59pm
I few weeks ago (before I definitely "popped out") a woman noticed I was rubbing my belly (protuding limb) and jokingly asked if I had a baby in there and looked shocked when I said yes! She must have thought I just looked fat (or maybe I was a lil' bit sensitive? lol) That really upset me and I spent days where I was as low as you are feeling now. But now I'm definitely looking pregnant *YAY* and I know exactly what you mean Emma about the bump getting in the way in the shower lol, makes me wonder how I'll continue to shave my legs in the coming weeks!
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pepsi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pepsi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 3:25pm
I was already a little overweight before I got pregnant and thought I would hate getting bigger, but so far it feels like I'm allowed to be so it's pretty good.

The depression will probably set in once the baby has been born and I realise I'm still just a fatty hehe
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Kelpa View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kelpa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 3:32pm
Im the same!!Altho starting to enjoy it all.

Try look at it as a good thing. You are bringing this new little person into the world!!
And what weight you put on is totally expected and very normal and needed for you to be healthy and in the best shape for being pregnant!And its only temporary!!!

Try getting out and going for a walk and read everything on here cause its great to see that lots of people feel just the same way!

Believe it or not and it probably wont help much but I know a few guys and some of my girlie friends who think pregnant woman are totally sexy and gorgeous ( I wish it would rub off!!)....

My partner does which helps me feel a bit better!

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mum2emj View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2emj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 3:37pm
dont stress! those feelings are normal, well i feel them at times too, i definatly have more times where i dont like being pregnant than do!!!!! at the moment im feeling pretty good though.
and only a few weeks ago i was feeling exactly the same.... fat!!!! but now i am seeing more and more of a beautiful preggy belly bump! so im sure that you will start to feel a bit happier within yourself soon.
if not, know that you arent alona and its ok to not like what happens to our bodies.

take care!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paws Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 3:40pm
Well I must admit I just had a little happy...had a customer ask me, unpromted, how many weeks I am...feels to good to think that at least I look preggers and not just fat...still do feel frumpy though!

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jack_&_charli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jack_&_charli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 3:44pm
oh i so know where you are coming from mrs frantic! with jack, i was so happy to be preggers and from 24-25wks my belly was a nice round shape so i loved being able to wear tops to show it off. i have a bit of a pot belly anway, so it was the first time i didn't have to worry about my tops being too tight.
this time, my tummy just looks fat and it's definately bigger but not preggy looking i'm always feeling bloated and disgusting and so far, not enjoying being pregnant at all!
but in saying that, those feelings all go away when you feel bubs moving inside you and hearing their wee heart pumping
i'm sure once your a little bit further along and your belly gets rounder, you'll feel alot better about yourself. it's that in-between stage that we are going through that can be quite hard on the emotions.
take care sweets, we are all here when you need a place to let it all out

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james View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 5:39pm
ohh i felt the same girl dont stress i hated being preggy and felt rela bad for that but now i have my cte wee man and i,ll do it all over again if i had too!! its all worth it in the end i use to say that to my self and that sometimes made me feel better
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your allowed to feel like ur bodies playing host as u said cos in a way u are....
I always wanted a big bump and didnt really get one so i never went thru the frumpy stage,but im sure it must suck!
Is there anything u can do to pamper urself?get some nice styly preggy outfits maybe?or get ur nails done or something?
Remember each week that goes by with u feeling hideous is one less week of pregnancy
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 8:34pm
Mrs Frantic - don't worry about conforming to PC notions of pregnancy, birth and motherhood. I've given up worrying about all that stuff.

My take on things... Pregnancy: wasn't too bad, I enjoyed it sometimes, but I would never say I was "glowing" etc... Birth: meant to feel brilliant about bringing a healthy child into the world, instead feel guilty about not doing well enough... Child: Didn't think she was the cutest little creature to greet the world since Bambi (newborns just aren't that attractive you know?) and some days could quite happily adopt her out... but still I'm pretty normal. It's all normal to feel like crap. Such are the joys of motherhood. (Geez that's depressing! There are some good bits too! I promise!!)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2paris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2006 at 9:09pm
can i tell you a secret? the only difference between you and those "happy healthy glowing" pregnant ladies is that they don't show how much trouble they are having adjusting to their body changes!

Every woman has something they don't like about themselves and it's hard to feel good about being preg with all these movie stars looking absolutely wonderfully fabulous while preggy but truth is, everyone has to confront their own troubles with their bodies and pregnancy is pretty sucky in terms of that - makes you feel like you are back in 3rd form.. some can't wait to develop, others just wanna stay the way they are, and it's all out of your control.
Once you get a bit further along you'll start to coneect with baby and have the scan etc and it will all become real - you'll still feel like your body has been taken over by an alien (and once baby starts really botting around, it will actually look like it sometimes if you watch your tummy!) but it will feel good too. WE all go thru it - we all end up getting irrational towards our partners, get angry at thin un-preggy ladies and just end up feeling frumpy. but you have to remember that you are also at an in-between stage too, not quite at the big and showing part yet, you will get there all too soon. hang in there.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ErinC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2006 at 8:03am
Hi
I hated being pregnant at the start as well. I didnt know how I was going to make it to 40 weeks, but around 18-20 weeks I started to feel a bit better. For me I think it was just the adjusting to the changes in my life and around 20 weeks it seemed easier to cope with, plus I wasnt so tired and grumpy and was showing properly.

That said, I believe it gets a lot harder towards the end so I expect to be moaning again soon!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Andie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2006 at 3:03pm
I'm with the 'go pamper yourself a bit' theory too... go on, you deserve to do something spesh just for you.

A week behind your pregnancy, I now look either pregnant or fat, depending on what I wear, and clothes-less, I don't like what I see. I'm still dismayed at how much of the 'bump' I can suck up if I hold my tummy in (so I'm guessing it's flubber poking out as much as baby!!) and think I'll feel happier about it in a few weeks... then miserable towards the end! Anyway, I rekon STUFF THE THEORIES ON HOW YOU "SHOULD" FEEL AND ACT!! Who cares? You feel how you feel right now.

Motherhood seems so cloaked in 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts', with all these ideas around about how wrong it is to talk about the negative side of bringing a baby into this world. Well stuff 'em! Yes, there'll be immesurable joy, but there'll also be heartache, so screw those expectations of how serene, centered and at one with the universe or whatever c**p we're meant to be projecting to the world at every given moment! If you're into books, Shiela Kitzinger's book on pregnancy and childbirth has some awesome advice and reality checks in it - it's been like my bible! It's pricey, but I saw an old copy on Trade Me today.
Andie
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mrs frantic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mrs frantic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2006 at 4:26pm
Hey Andie, thanks for that yoU made me giggle!
I am also flabby but slightly round at times and I can ALSO suck it up to a certain extent if I try real hard, I guess thats why I feel it's more fat than baby! Gald to hear you are the same LOL!
Mrs Frantic
Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jack_&_charli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2006 at 8:09pm
andie..mrs frantic..i can suck my baby belly in too! yay, i thought it was just me
when i suck my tummy in, i hardly look preggy at all...i should post some pics to show what i mean. i still havn't felt bubs move properly yet either so i was beginning to think i'm not actually pregnant!
got my scan tomorrow so will find out if i am or not hahahaha

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