Back to work - coping with separation!

I went back to work when Michaela was only 5mo and it was so hard for me.  I was ok at work unless I let myself think about my daughter and then I'd be holding back tears and feeling so guilty and also so resentful that I had to go back to work.

Be assured that she will not hate you!  Leaving your baby is so much harder for you than it is for her.  Please don't beat yourself up, you obviously have to go back to work otherwise you wouldn't be doing it so you're better off thinking of it the way it really is which is that you are making a huge sacrifice for your family and should be praised for putting your family before your own want to spend more time at home with your daughter.

There are plenty of good things about being a working mum too.  There's absolutely nothing like the look of delight they get on their face when they see you at the end of the working day - even now 2 1/2 years on it hasn't got old.  Also sometimes I feel like I have an advantage over sahm's because I get time out and so when I'm at home with my daughter I'm fresh and feel like I can focus more attention on her iykwim.  It's also good when she goes through difficult stages because I have time to think about how to approach different situations and talk to friend and family rather than constantly being in the heat of the moment and having react then and there.

There's a few old threads that I hope might be helpful.

http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13521&KW=working+mum

http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15358&KW=working+mum

http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15359&KW=working+mum

Feel free to pm me if you ever want to chat.

I forgot to say although it was something I was really worried about I don't feel like I missed out on the firsts. 

She started saying "mum" at 5mo when I went back to work but I didn't believe it was a word for ages (I maintained that she was just making noise until it was really obvious she was referring to me). 

She'd already started commando crawling by the time I went to work a month later she figured out how to crawl backwards and a month after that I was wagging so I could take her to a plunket appt and do some Christmas shopping when she crawled forwards for the  first time (DH, who was a sahd actually missed it - but I did get it on camera). 

I was also home for her first steps. 

It's just my theory but I think kids tend to do new things in an environment and with people they feel most comfortable and for your baby the person she is most comfortable with is you.

So what if you're at work 32 hours a week?  There are 168 hours in every week and you'll still spend the majority of them with your daughter.

Felicity, it sounds like you have a good balance.  I'll be doing something similar once I've had a year off on ML with this one.  Good luck finding childcare.