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netballgirl4 
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Location: New Zealand
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 Topic: the in laws
Posted: 14 May 2006 at 7:02pm |
ok i posted a topic about this some time a go but today they rang to tell it still on,heres the plan came to weeks before bubs is here and stay 4 weeks after bubs has arrived. how do i cope has anyone have any ideas please, DH is so happy that they are coming but im not that over the moon *feels bad for say that, but it is ture  *
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kebakat
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Posted: 14 May 2006 at 7:08pm |
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I think you need to chat with your DH about it
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emma
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Posted: 14 May 2006 at 8:30pm |
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i would agree, six weeks is too long, also add in to the mix coping with a new baby, no sleep, and the mother of all hormone crashes, explain to your dh that your really not gonna be up to it.
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Mum to Tiger-Lily D.O.B 07/05/05
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lizzle
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Posted: 14 May 2006 at 8:55pm |
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six weeks....woah! Ask your DH what hotel he'd like you to book them into!
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lizzle
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Posted: 14 May 2006 at 8:58pm |
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After I had both boys I was at home with mum, but more from circumstances dictating that, than actual wanting to be here. For me, it was wonderful - but I was able to tell mum to back off when need be. If i was staying with my Dad however, I would not have been able to cope. Let alone the inlaws! I love mine...in australia!
if they MUSt come, you'll need to sit down and discuss what you want happening. For example - you and your husband ONLY to get up for the baby. no dummies. Stuff like that. Parents are so well-meaning but tend to have some old-fashioned ideas. My in laws tried to give Jake a smoothie when he was SIX WEEKS OLD!!!!!
I feel for you!
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Roksana
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Posted: 15 May 2006 at 10:06am |
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Oh MAN 6 weeks? I dont know how you would cope. My MIL came to stay for 1 week and she was driving me up the wall.......
You really need to talk to your hubby and tell him that you need few weeks to bond with baby and not have other people butting in....tell him that you guys need to do the bonding thing together and having people around will stop you from doing this. Tell him even tho you would love to have them here 2 weeks after bub is here, you would rather not have them stay with you straight after. May be they can stay with some one else and visit twice every week or so......
Good luck!
Edited by Roksana
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caraMel
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Posted: 15 May 2006 at 10:32am |
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thats WAY too long!! inevitably having people stay means that you wind up taking care of their needs too and that is the last thing you need to be worrying about what with taking care of a new bub and yourself. not to mention all the unwanted 'help' and advice you don't need to be dealing with as you find your way.
better to broach the subject with hubby now so arrangements can be made that suit you all, you don't need that kind of anxiety weighing on you for the next few months.
i hope it goes well, good luck hun!
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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Alan & Bubbles Mummy
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Posted: 15 May 2006 at 12:06pm |
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Ok that is way too long I think maybe if they stay in a hotel it might be ok, but not at your house my parent's came up about 3 day's before baby was born and planned to go home about a week after however we sent them home the day after I got out of hospital it was just way too much. I think you really need to to talk to dh and tell him you are not happy with that plan and that tey can come a week before bubba is due and stay for a week after bubba is here . Then plan to stay in hospital as much of that time as possible. I know it sounds mean and feels mean, but if they are good people they should understand and let them know that they can come back in a month or so when things settle down.
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Alan & Bubbles Mummy
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Posted: 15 May 2006 at 12:08pm |
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Course I have no idea if maybe they are coming from oversea's that they deffently arrange other accdomation once bubby is born. That way they can still see lots of bubby without you having to deal with them in your house.
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 15 May 2006 at 1:53pm |
You so do not need you ILs staying with you - not only in the first few special weeks with your bubba when you are all adusting to being a new family, but in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy when you will prob feel like cr@p... I cant think of anything worse than going into labour and having my ILs hanging around 
That is just way too long. I know the family like to see lots of the brand new bub but its YOUR time. A few days around the birth (in a hotel) and then again in a few weeks sounds like a good plan. Have you told your hubby what you think? btw how is he doing?
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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the in laws
