medical management or naturally??

looking for some more advice...

We found out about the m/c at a scan and now we have to make a call about whether or not we want to wait and let the m/c happen naturally or go down the medically managed route. Having a D&C is not an option this time.

I'm in two minds as I know the natural m/c would be better for my body but there is no way of telling when (or where) this would happen - our OB said it could be tomorow or it could be in 4 weeks!!!

With the first m/c I had a D&C a couple of days after the scan and I guess maybe my reluctance to go for medical intervention this time has something to do with the fact I can't quite belive it's happened again.

Any thoughts or words of wisdom.

thanks for sharing foxxy_one

I had a D&C with the first m/c and ended up with a perforated uterus and damage to my small bowel and after all that still needed to have the pills!!!   Apparently i have an acutely tilted uterus which they hadn't picked up on the scan.

Both my OB and I are very reluctant to go down the D&C route again but if we had to (ie if everything doesn't come away) then if would have to be done by a specialist with ultrasound guidance.

we've been talking about a time limit. might give it a week or two and if nothings happened, pop up to the hospital.

Our OB was pretty good - didn't force us into a decision on the day - just gave us a letter of referral so we had time to decide which option was best for us.

Hi Karenm, first off I am so sorry you are having to go through this

I don't know if it will be any help to you but I will tell you my experiences. My first m/c was July last year and it was a natural m/c at about 5 weeks, and in all honestly for me it was painless. There was only one cramp and that was when I passed a small clot which I guess was the m/c. Other than that just some light bleeding.

Then in mid Oct last year we found out at 8.5 wk scan that there was no heartbeat. I was in exactly the same position as you, I was really scared to go to the hospital (but not for same reasons, just fear of the unknown) and decided to wait for two weeks to see if it happened naturally. This is what I was praying would happen, but after two weeks and still I had not miscarried naturally I was just wanting something to happen so went in for a d and c. It was the best thing for me because I don't know whether the 2nd m/c would have been as painless as the 1st, and also I was worried about getting an infection too.

I think like foxy_one said it is a really personal decision because it is different for each of us. And yeah I wouldn't want to go in again after what you have experienced in the past.

Big hugs and take care, I know how heartbreaking this is

Edited by appy2

thanks for all the feedback guys.

Quick update - I've made a doctors appt for next week to go and talk through the options again. Will make a decision after that. Assuming of course nothing happens between now and then

I only sort-of had a choice, I was bleeding quite heavily so I was 'strongly encouraged' to have a d and c, and it was done within a few hours as they were concerned about blood loss. I don't regret it tho, it gave me some finality, and we were able to have the products of conception returned to us afterwards so we can bury baby (I say 'can' not could coz baby is still in a box next to my bed, I still haven't gotten my head around it 3 years later ).

Best of luck over the next few days, I hope things go as smoothly as possible given the awful circumstances.

Random observation - you say you've had 2 m/c, could your tilted uterus possibly be contributing to this? It might be worth discussing with your doc.

Hi Karen

Again, sorry to hear your sad news.

My experience sounds much like Goldy's. I think the mental preparation is the main part - nobody told me anything (despite having an obstetrician) about how to prepare for m/c naturally.

I was given the option of natural and d&c, but with a strong emphasis on natural, so that's what I did.

The pains were pretty horrendous, but the thing I certainly was not prepared for was the bleeding...I was at work and I couldn't get off the toilet due to bleeding. I didn't have anything more than a few pads in my bag which soaked through within seconds.

I guess my main advice would be to get yourself at least a couple packs of big maternity pads and make sure you are near a toilet at all times...

But this option may be much more preferable to you than having a d&c after what you have already been thru...but it is good to know what you're in for first - I still can't believe nobody told me what to expect.

Karenm - I certainly think its the right thing to 100% sure before taking the pills. Goodness knows the Drs and scan folk are not perfect and you just never know.....

I know you've already been through it before but:
I'd recommend taking the week off work (if you work that is) cos its the last place you'll want to be either while waiting or while its happening. Organise a few little pampery tricks for yourself - do your nails or deep condition your hair - its amazing how much just little things like that help you feel a little more human.

HUGS - and remember there are folk online at all hours of the day

Edited by littlestar

I am so sorry to read about all you have been through. Thinking of you heaps. I wish you all the best with your ttc. Take care - lots of YOU treats.