what options do i have??

hi im really stuck on what to do about this...
here is the history -
Dh is a student and i am a SAHM during the uni year we live on very little and budget like crazy as Dh only works over the summer and i work weekends. This year we are expecting our second baby in december (and are very excited!!). Dh has been offered a return position at the place he worked last year which is great except that it is 2hrs away from where we live. We have decided to accept the job as we cant afford for him not to find a job for the summer and this job pays really well. His position is shift work 2days, 2 nights and then 4days off. He will travel down south for the 4days on and then back up here for his 4days off. He has a place to stay for free down there so that is good. His work starts mid november - or as soon as his exams are over.

THere are a couple of things i am concerned about and wonder if anyone has any ideas -

1. is two hours enough time for Dh to get back up here for a birth? Would it be a good idea to have an extra support person who could be with me in early labour and maybe labour if dh didnt make it in time?

2. after baby is born and we get home what should i do? i will have a 15-16month old and a newborn. My mum lives in town but unfortunately xmas is her bussiest time for work so she will be very busy. Would really just like to hear some ideas for options. We dont have a lot of money to spend as we save during the summer for next years living.

3. is there anything else i need to be thinking about that im not - problems you could see arising etc?

Thank you for taking the time to read this long post.
Kyla

OK, found the free one I was talking about - but looks like they are only in Auckland - but worth asking your LMC is there is anything similar in your area?

http://www.parentport.co.nz/index.htm

One thing to remember is that second babies often come with a lot of false labour before hand ....maybe ring him when you think you have a contraction and tell him to be on standby , then ring him when you've had another 2 or 3 that have intensified in pain etc .

Who are you going to have looking after your toddler while you're in labour?

I think a support person would be great just so you aren't lonely if you have a friend or something that can do it for the first bit.

Chances are 2 hours will be more than enough time for DH to get back though. (make him swear not to speed lol).

I guess one thing to think of is worst case scenario if you have to have a C sect or you have a rough birth your recovery time will increase quite a bit and you may have to stay in hospital a bit longer. So it would be a good idea to look into support organisations or see if there are any friends that can drop by after.

I think getting someone in is a great idea, not sure I'd be comfortable with it being a 13yr old (despite babysitting at 14 myself!) but if it's a family member perhaps it wouldn't be so bad :)

In terms of preparation the main stuff I guess is to get as much done as possible before hand - frozen meals, buy in 6 weeks worth (or as much as you can) of loo paper, soap, toothpaste, nappies, wipes, whatever you think you will need that's not fresh food. Get your Mum on board for help with housework and washing if she can, or maybe look somewhere like Student Job Search for a cleaner that could come in once or twice a week to give the place a once over and fold washing/put away for you?

We have no family in Singapore and my DH works long hours, so those were the things I tried to have in place before Callum came home from the hospital.

Good luck!

You could look at putting Henry into barnardos care or something a few hrs a week, 4.50 or something an hour is all you have to pay not alot anyways and that might help you with just spending some time with the newborn.

I would think that the first 2weeks are the ones that will matter the most for the help adapting to new routines etc. And make sure that any friends etc are respectful and if you don't want visitors early as it can disrupt starting new routines etc then let people know. I actually wish people had come in the first two weeks with Nia instead of after that as DP was home with me and he had more time in the first 2weeks then he does now.

Student Job Search is a good idea as people will be wanting work over summer and something like this would be almost ideal as they won't necessarily have to work weekends and still get some pocket money.

Totally do-able.

My DH was in Waiouru working with no return vehicle. My brother drove up & got him back here so a 3 hour return trip. I laboured with my Mum & then we all went to the hospital about an hour later & then an hour after that Cooper was born. I phoned DH when my waters broke because he wanted to be there regardless of how long it too. Just as well we hurried as it was only 5 hours.

My Mum popped over & helped fold washing & do vacuuming but in all honesty second time around it annoyed me more. I just wanted to be at home with my family. First time around it was all a blur!

Good idea to get someone to come & get some experience in your home. I'm lucky I've got an older child so it's just the two of us during the day.

PS - if your DH is working 4 days and then travelling back to be home with you for 4 days then leave the housework for him


I like this idea best!!

you're right kiwij he will only be away for four days at a time. So he will just have to help heaps when he is here. I think id sort of gotten it into my head that i was doing this all alone but actually ive only got to get through four days at a time. I think everything will be fine. THanks for all the reasurance ladies.

definitely check out the nanny school. My friend has had a few nannies come through as she signed up to be a practicum family... http://www.teacher.co.nz/Practicum%20Family

Its free!!!