Pre natal depression??

I know this thread is dedicated to post natal, but i was wondering if anyone else out there suffered from pre natal depression and if my "symptons" would count as depression or just "hormonal"

Ok so to start with, i seem to appear to have bouts of depression in my life, but i have always managed to pick myself up out of them without any assistance.......but i seem to be the sort of person that when things are great they are GREAT!!! but when things arent going so good, like if a friend hasnt been in touch or i didnt get invited to do something or people didnt make an effort for my birthday, life things like that, then i seem to go downhill and crash and get really really upset and then get bitter and jealous and angry and negative, and even though i dont want to be like that and I try hard not to, i cant help it and i manage to push friends further away when im actually needing them more......if all that makes sense, and i actually now have no close friends left.

So anyway since ive been pregnant, things were going along nicely, i had a very close friend who loved me being pregnant and we were always doing stuff together and weve been friends for years, but when i got diagnosed with having a growth on my brain, she couldnt be anymore uninterested and we had a fight and she has never once asked what the results of lumbar puncture was and didnt say happy birthday which was the same week and we havent spoken since, and I have taken that hard, but feel like i shouldnt be the one chasing her cos it was me going through something major etc......anyway this amoung a few other things set me off on some serious spiralling downwards.........i managed to pick myself up after a few days, even though i know at the back of my mind theres still alot going on........well i thought i had got myself sorted etc and started trying to make other friends (which isnt easy)

Theres a few other bits and pieces that has happened all in a short space, and its like im taking hit after hit constantly to the point where i am so completely worn down theres no fight left in me!! I keep trying to rev up the positive motors in my brain, but just as soon as i feel them firing up again, i feel like another thing throws some water on it and Im not sure how to move forward anymore cos my efforts seem to get me absolutely no where

The first thing i seem to think of in the morning is "i hate myself, so why would anyone want to be friends with me"
I cry over the smallest things. Like today a newer friend said she would have a baby shower for me, but then today she asked me if was gonna put one on, so she mustve forgotten or she prob doesnt see the point since i really dont have anyone to invite......and i had a melt down at work on thurs so my boss said to take some time off and said that maybe i should think if its the right job for me if i cant handle the stress of work and home etc.........and really work was the only form of daily human contact that i seem to have in the form of "friends" that are real in the flesh........but they arent actual friends but its the closest i have to anything like that..........
I had a great day yesterday and was feeling great about life again, but the baby shower thing has thrown me right down to the bottom again.........

My DH doesnt want me to go on anit Ds, hes so against them and well i would rather not have to get to that point, but i am thinking i dont have many other choices........
and of course i dont want this to turn into PND when baby is born esp if i have another boy, cos that caused one of my meltdowns so we decided not to find out sex as i had a bad meltdown where i didnt even want to be preg anymore if it was another boy.....hmmmmmm

Ok this turned into my life story, but i think what im mostly after is, are my rapid HIGHS and LOWS normal? and is there anything i can take while preg like st johns wort that i could try before Anti Ds, so i can tell my DH i tried every other option first

Hey lou,

Big Hugs to you, sounds like you are having a very hard time,I totally understand how little things can seem bigger,it is definatley te hormones.

I would highly recommend you see a doctor just let you know your options, but in the end of the day if meds are the way to go it will be the best thing for you and baby.

Also just my opinion but I would think maybe finding out now what the gender is will allow you too deal with this before the birth and may minimise the chance of PND if it is a boy and you become upset IYKWIM

Well I have now sent you 2 pm's one replying to your message and another after I read this post.   Just wanted to leave you a great big

I agree that the best advice is to seek medical help , prehaps a doctor you know is a good one. I suffer from depression, it worsens in pregnancy and after the birth of my children. It took years for me to be treated correctly and on the proper meds . This was due to bad doctors and midwives. My husband was not so enthuisastic about meds or long term use of them. But after our rollercoaster couple of years he is my best ally. I am currently on citalopram during this pregnancy. This is the first pregnancy out of 4 i have stayed on my anti-ds. Apart from a small slide last week i have actually felt the normal joy that pregnancy brings. My biggest measure of wether i am sliding into depression is anxiety, sleeplessness, the inability to concentrate, not wanting to go out of the house or see people, and lastly irrational feelings or behavouir. Hope this helps

I agree with the advice given by others... check in with your Dr and tell them what's going on. If you really want to try everything before meds, give counselling a go, it can help to change your mindset, the way you think about things. Changing your thought processes can go a long way. But if there is something chemical going on, as there often is in pre- and post-natal depression, then meds may end up being your best way to get through this.

I ended up on meds during my last pregnancy, even though I was really not wanting to, and I have to say that they really helped. It was a totally different experience to my first pregnancy, and I enjoyed it, and my second baby, a lot more than the first time around.

Huge hugs

I hope that things start looking up for you soon!

Larrl I think it comes with years of living with ourselves doctor's councellor's etc have alway's said how good it is I am so self aware I am not so sure sometime lol.
Chickielou hey thinking of you hope all is ok?   and more big

Im glad you are feeling better. Did anyone watch sunday this week on one? It described deppression as the black dog. Realy interesting about some journalists own personal struggles with depression.