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Zasha 
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Joined: 18 July 2009
Location: Bay of plenty NZ
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 Topic: Anxiety attacks
Posted: 21 November 2009 at 8:35am |
Hey everyone,
I realise this might be a strange topic to bring up, but have any of you suffered anxiety attacks? If you have how have you managed to control or get around them?
I've been getting quite a few lately, my pulse rate and blood pressure sky rockets when i get them, my MW said I've got to stay calm and try relaxation and breathing techniques, which is easier said than done. At my MW request I've been to a doctor I've been to a councellor, to try and help me cope with this unwanted pregnancy, but nothing seems to be working, I just can't get my head around the situation. I know this is going to sound shocking, but I don't want the baby and I never have, I'd love to give it up for adoption to an infertile couple that desperately wanted a child that hadn't had any luck through IVF, I think it would be a great gift to give someone and help complete there life. But my family members don't see it that way, My partner of 14 years is looking forward to the new arrival as he's always wanted kids and he see this as his big chance to be a dad. His parents are looking forward to finially been grand parents and have been buying stuff for the baby, my side of the family are no different and looking forward to meeting there new relative. I've tried to explain the way I'm feeling but they don't want to know or don't understand how a women doesn't want her baby.
I feel as though I'm almost at braking point which is leading to the anxiety attacks. I know it's only probably going to get harder when the baby's born, everyone is expecting so much of me and the pressures driving me nuts', I just don't know what I can do....
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EmDee
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Waikato
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Posted: 21 November 2009 at 10:50am |
Oh hun, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and from the sounds of it have noone in your life who is able to listen and understand.
I don't really have any advice though, but couldn't just read and run.
Ummm what if you took your partner along to a counselling session? Maybe it would help him understand what is going on and how you are feeling about it all? I think this is a really serious situation and your partner and families need to understand it.
Edited by mummydee
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LJsmum
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 21 November 2009 at 6:25pm |
big hugs to you, it's awful when no one listens to how you are really feeling,
Good on you for being brave and actually saying hey this is not for me and i want to adopt the baby out. It takes huge courage and confidence to do this and admit you are scared, unsure and worried.
A lot of people can't do this and say so and slip into huge depression.Take your partner along to a session with your counsellor, to help him understand how you are feeling.
Do you really not want to be a mum or are you scared and unsure of the future. We all feel like this worried about what will happen e.t.c. it's normal to be scared and panic a bit.
Good luck
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Brenna
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Posted: 22 November 2009 at 8:48am |
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Hugs!! Since having my 2nd baby I've had so many panic attacks I've lost count. They are the most terrifying thing to go through and it's hard for other people to understand. I'm now on medication for mine and *touch wood* things are improved immensly. I don't know if the meds are safe during pregnancy, but they are safe for b/f so maybe talk to your doc about going onto something as soon as baby is born. PM me if you want more info on what I'm taking.
Sorry can't help with your dilema though...but I totally understand how scary the attacks are
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Tastic
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Posted: 22 November 2009 at 10:13am |
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I have suffered from these too many times to count, mostly since my second son's NICU experience. I was on medication but they are not safe at all during pregnancy - Ive had the midwife, OB and lady from MMH
Have you contacted the maternal mental health people? your midwife can refer you
I unfortunately don't have any solutions to stopping them as I find for me different things can set them off - mine usually start with sharp stabbing pains in the chest and get 'worse' from there.
I think you asking here for 'help' is the first step, you are very brave to have continued with this pregnancy if in you heart you truly didn't/don't want it.
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Lucky apple
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Posted: 22 November 2009 at 5:38pm |
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Sounds like you could really do with using all the support networks you can at the moment Zasha. This sounds like a really difficult time for you. I'm pleased for you that you at least have your husband, midwife and Doctor on board.
There are ABSOLUTELY ways of overcoming panic attacks - from psychological methods, to some medications if you need it. You can and will get through this difficult time. Just do keep being open and honest about how you are feeling with your counsellor, doctor and midwife especially. They will keep things confidential and will help to support and guide you. You don't have to know all of the answers now either.
Hang in there
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Babe
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Posted: 22 November 2009 at 9:35pm |
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I had anxiety attacks and 'mental breaks' through my pregnancy with Jake and for me I found Evening Primrose and Fish Oil really helped.
I've read about you taking one step at a time through this pregnancy and I really admire how you're doing Zasha. I'm so sorry your family and ILs don't understand how serious an issue this is for you. I am hoping for you that you will find your way through this situation hun xox
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Paws
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 9:44am |
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I'd recommend heading into the doctor and having a chat.
i suffer anxiety and mine is bad enough that I'm on medication and have had to stay on medication throughout my pregnancy, the risk of me coming off them is greater than the risk to the baby.
They are terrifying and horrible to go through but I really think the best thing you can do is seek professional help, particularly if family is not giving you the support you need.
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Tastic
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 12:54pm |
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Paws - I wish my doctor was like yours! Ive been having sometimes 2 or 3 attacks a day atm! and still all I get is not while your pregnant!
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Zasha
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Location: Bay of plenty NZ
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 1:45pm |
Thanks for the suggestions ladies anything is worth a try, I do take my partner to councelling with me, but been a typical guy he doesn't really want to talk about emotional BS side of things, he just sits there and says nothing, as he's not really in touch with that side of things, he had a hard upbringing that lacked emotional support and encouragement (so it's not something that he can understand because he's never really experieinced it himself) , plus it's not him with the issues it's me, he's accepted the pregnancy it's me that hasn't. The counceller said he's got to try and make more of an effort to communicate and reasure me, but in all honesty I can't see that happening, it's not in his nature and I don't want to try and force him to talk about something that he doesn't want to, as it will be him that ends up looking after the baby if I can't get my crap together.
I saw my MW again this morning and she has given me flyer on maternal mental health and is going to refer me but she said that there will probably be a while before they can see me as there's currently a waiting list, she suggested that if the anxiety attacks get worse that I go back to the doctor, although she said that a doctor would be reluctant to perscribe drugs due to the pregnancy. so there doesn't look like much is gong to change over the next few weeks, guess I just got to try to suck it up.
Also a bit curious whats the normal protocol for women in late pregnancy, I tended to think that you see the MW once a week from about 35 weeks on. My BP is already 130/90 (while not having an anxiety attack) which my MW seemed a litte concerned about but I don't have any other symptoms of pre-eclampsia, and made my next appointment for 3 weeks time (38 weeks), oh and just if I wan't on edge enough I find out today my MW will be on holiday when I'm due.
Edited by Zasha
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 1:55pm |
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you should be on weekly from 36 but much earlier if needed..that is shocking she hasnt got you in much sooner:( the 'normal' way is 1xa month till 28-30 weeks then fortnightly till 36 then weekly..but my BP was up so I was on 2-3x weekly blood tests and weekly visits from 34 weeks..
re the anxiety attacks...my OCd/anxiety isnt bad enough to be even referred(dont get me started on that) but I have ended up on citalopram for depression which has really helped the attacks.. but sometimes i still get them..fo rme it's hormonal.. the only help i got was 130$ a session CBT which did help me learn to make sur ei breathe through my tummy and not chest(as often people who panic are breathing from the wrong place and getting more co2 than needed.. and a few cognitive things..
hugs though how hard to have so much pressure pushing you somewhere you arent comfortable with:(
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Mum to two amazing boys!
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kakapo
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 7:27pm |
Zasha. You have the right to swap to a different midwife at any stage of your pregnany - so that might be something to consider. They don't tend to take it personally (if they're professional) and I'm sure she would understand, especially since she's going away on holiday around your due date.
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flakesitchyfeet
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Posted: 23 November 2009 at 9:37pm |
Love, this is going to sound strange, but can you knit?
I agree with everything the above posters have said. I have had severe anxiety attacks after a head injury in 06 left me with all sorts of interesting issues. It just happened to be the most important year of my life (study/wedding) and the accident totally screwed it up. I was on medication for ages, and opted off it early last year, before I found out about my daughter.
Knitting can easily be learned by watching you tube, and start up costs are cheap. I felt it helped because A)it gave me something to focus on when I started getting physically shaky or racey in the head, B)there was a sense of achievement in creating something and C) it kinda helped me bond with the bubs as I was making something for her. oh and D) it gave me an excuse for retail therapy, wool shopping is addictive!
By no means a complete solution/answer to whats gone on for you at the moment, but just a wee idea that may be a coping mechanism
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Anxiety attacks
