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0mrs0ana0 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 10 February 2010 at 10:33pm
I work with a bunch of people that seem to know everyone's business, one of the girls has just gone on maternity leave & two of the guys at work have PG wives, so quite often the conversation the topic turns to pregnancy, babies & kids. One of the woman that I work with yesterday asked me when we're having kids! I just tried to fob her off, said we hadn't talked bout it.
I'm a crap liar & feel like everyone knows! Part of me feels like we're all involved in each others lives too much and it's none of thier business but part of me just wants to get it in the open
*sigh* How do you keep such a massive secret without lying?!


May 2012
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High9 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote High9 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 February 2010 at 10:53pm
I can't really think of anything to help but I guess until you're ready to tell just pretend not to know... IYGWIM?
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M2K View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M2K Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 February 2010 at 10:55pm
I used to sit at my desk dry retching and was so paranoid that the other ladies who had children would know straight away... but Im not sure if they did.

The first 3 months is hard, because you REALLY want to tell everyone your good news and feel cheated, but believe me, once they know you will have all sorts of advice thrown at you (gets tiring after a while) so that itself is a good reason to keep pregnancy secret sometimes


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kiwisj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 February 2010 at 10:57pm
Oh I'm rubbish at keeping secrets and have seen 3 VERY close friends since I got my BFP on Monday .. and told two of them already

They (the people you work with) probably don't know They might suspect, but if they're nice people and they're going through pg themselves they probably won't bring it up if they do. And if they DO bring it up just say, "oh no, not yet" and change the subject.

It is hard when you're around people all the time though. The two friends I've spilled the beans to, well I would probably have to tell them soon anyway if I get MS again or even just because I obviously won't be drinking this weekend at a catch up that's been planned for AGES at a pub.

SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
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squoggs View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote squoggs Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2010 at 2:09pm
By the time I was 7 weeks, everyone knew! I had just started a new job, covering for a lady who was PG, when I found out that I was too. So 'fessed up as I didn't want to lead anyone on, and got replaced with a male, grr, but probably good for employer as they can't get PG! I had to notify CAA that I was PG, and they sent out a letter to my old work saying that I was PG and couldn't fly. So everyone at my old work knew, as well as everyone at my new job - before we had told our family and close friends :-( So told family & friends at 7 weeks-ish as didn't want them to hear it as rumors from ex-workmates. I was mad at the time, but now i think it was pretty funny :-)

Mind you, i think they would have worked it out anyway as I was vomiting several times a day from 6wk-18wks, I definitely couldn't have hidden it!

But I think also, you have to remember that just because you have PG on the brain 24/7, that its more obvious to you than those around you. Also, there lots of 'cover up' excuses you could use, I have heard of people saying they are detoxing etc (which I guess could cause you to feel off-color etc). Sorry my PG brain can't be more creative


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote littleLittle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2010 at 4:04pm
I found one of the easiest ways was to not lie! I was under close scrutiny at work because a friend of mine announced she was pregnant and I was the right age and marital status!

So when people would say things to me I would just say 'oh can't you tell I'm already pregnant' or 'no thanks can't have that cos I'm pregnant' and I'd say it with a smile on my face and we'd all have a laugh about it. They had no idea I was actually telling the truth because they thought we were just having a joke and at the same time I wasn't actually lying.

However there were other times where I would blatantly lie and ultimately everyone forgets about that when you announce you're pregnant because they're happy for you. And you just end up having a laugh about the times you did lie to them!    
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mummyofprinces Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2010 at 5:46pm
At the end of the day they might suspect but most people wont say anythind and will understand why you have not said anything.. by 13 weeks everyone I worked with had guessed but only 2 people has actually questioned me about it... and where all thrilled for me and of course didnt care one bit that I had been telling porkies for 2 months!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kmarie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2010 at 7:58pm
The first time around I was the fourth person at my work to fall pregnant and there was an epidemic going round at school that was dangerous for bubs so we all had to take time off! What a way to publicize that I was pregnant lol! Unfortunately we lost our twins (unrelated to epidemic tho) at 10.5wks :(

Then once I found out I was pregnant with Bethany I came up with a 'pat' pre-12wks answer that was honest without lying cuz there were some well meaning people who asked us if we were trying for a baby or pregnant: "well, that would be nice!" Basically saying that we were keen on it without disclosing that we were already there! Fooled a few people and kept my conscience clear which was good, cuz I'm a terrible liar and it just sits badly with me. I did end up telling one or two close friends/colleagues at about the 10wk mark for various reasons but they were good at keeping quiet about it. Hope that helps ;)

Edited by kmarie


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Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart."
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0mrs0ana0 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 0mrs0ana0 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 February 2010 at 9:29am
Funny hearing everyone's stories, last night one of the guys at work was having me your on... "you're so pregnant!" I just turned around and said "i know i need to go on a diet, but seriously!"
Was asking me had I had much morning sickness, have I found a midwife, blah blah!


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squoggs View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote squoggs Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 February 2010 at 9:51am
You should ask him is he would like to be your support person at the birth ;-)


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0mrs0ana0 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 0mrs0ana0 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 February 2010 at 10:22am
no way!!!
his wife is PG with their 2nd, so all he thinks/talks about is babies (i swear he's a girl!!)


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squoggs View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote squoggs Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 February 2010 at 1:45pm
might shut him up though!

At least you have people around you going through similar experiences, so when you do 'go public' with your pregnancy, you can ask lots of advice - and borrow their spare gear :-)

I'm scared my hubby is turning into one of those slightly obsessive dads-to-be, I have heard him discussing cloth nappies with his best mate! But its so easy to get carried away and eat/think/sleep babies, even for the blokes....right must get off OB and return to real life


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MindyW Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 February 2010 at 2:07pm
My Dh's friends had cottoned on to me being preg cos I wasnt drinking- Airforce so every one drinks

One of them asked me if I was preg and I said straight faced "Oh! Are you trying to say I'm fat? Thanks a lot" put on a wounded look and that was the end of that1 Amazing how fast guys run away from stuff like that!
My Beautiful Little Emily

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