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mummy_becks 
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 Topic: I hate you
Posted: 21 February 2010 at 5:07pm |
I am over I hate you from Andrew. I get it every night at about this time because he is tired and I don't have dinner ready for him at the time he wants it.
I have just put him in his room for the I don't know how many times today, tried to get him to have a rest this afternoon but no Andrew knows best.
I have done the I love you back and get it all thrown back in my face. I have had enough and am not looking forward to when DH goes to Palmy and I have them both for almost a month by myself.
Any ideas short of tieing him to his bed in the afternoon in the weekends to get him to stop this behaviour???
I also get when he is really overtired I hate you, I wish you were dead so I could live with just daddy and Joshua.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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_H_
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 5:30pm |
didnt want to read and run so  but sorry im no help
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Bizzy
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 6:28pm |
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how bout "thats nice dear...." and walk away.
or if its just cause he is tired and hungry give him an earlier dinner. esp if you are going to be solo for a bit. i always feed the kids much earlier if my husband is home late.
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fire_engine
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 6:34pm |
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Have you got the Ian Grant book? He gives some good tips for dealing with that kind of behaviour. Let me know if you want me to dig it up!
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Mum to two wee boys
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 7:32pm |
Does he that would be something good to read.
I would love to fed them early, might take some effort for me to prepare dinner in the morning or night before but if it works I am willing to give it a go.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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peanut butter
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:22pm |
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how about a "YES!!!! I've done it!!! I am a good parent" That will floor him
But otherwise I think "thats nice dear" as Bizzy said is good. He's wanting a reaction.....ignore it!
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:35pm |
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I agree with the "yes, thats nice dear " and walking away
Have you got a crockpot ? that could help with making meal preparation easier
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LouD
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 10:28pm |
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I have an evil monster who emerges when hes tired.............hes about the same age too!! hes been such the perfect angel but come evenings out emerges this nasty little piece of work........!!! I get tough on him, DH is a bit softer but as im normally feeding the baby i have to try and get DH to get tough on him...........our biggest prob is Liam wont go to bed earlier and hes often fart assing around or making excuses to be up etc so he gets himself way over tired.............the other night he was playing up something wicked so i told DH to get his pillow and his blanket and escort him down to sleep in the garage (has a couch in it as its attached to house and DH has a bar out there)...........of course we would never make him sleep out there but we had to do something drastic that would freak him out to respect that we arent gonna take his Cr*P.......................
But i feel ya, its sooooo frustrating.............and heres me thinking the tantrums of I hate you and door slamming started a bit older than almost 6years old!!!??????
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LouD
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Posted: 21 February 2010 at 10:39pm |
Edited cos OB didnt show my post so i did another one and then it showed my first one so i had two..........feel special now 
Edited by Chickielou
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james
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 7:42am |
i have oe of thoses too right nnow james hates me lol i just tell him i love him and a time out if he still wont do as he is told big hugs 
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Zaylah
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 8:50am |
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No advice - just hugs!
As hurtful as it can feel - remember he doesn't actually mean any of what he is saying!
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 9:06am |
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I'm with the "that's nice dear" & then turn around & walk off.
How about throwing some plain pasta in a pot, only takes a few mins & fills them up. You can also keep it cold in the fridge if he'll eat it cold?
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A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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MyLilSquishy
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 11:44am |
give him uncooked pasta or rice and some raw veges.... if he complains then tell him to stop whinging and wait for dinner. and i agree with the "thats nice dear" although the shock factor of "YES!!!! IVE FINALLY DONE IT!!!" would prolly work aswell... just watch that tv ad where the mum has a tanty in the supermarket and the kid falls into line lol. good luck hun!
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.Mel
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 11:57am |
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I don't like the "thats nice dear" idea. You are lowering yourself to his level... which is being a typical kid. I know it must hurt alot when he says that but I think you just need to say something positive back to him ("sorry you feel that way") and just keep saying it each time he says it to you. Or you just walk away.
As for him demanding dinner, I'd take advantage of the crockpot and/or give him pasta like someone else suggested.
Just my opinion.
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LouD
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 12:46pm |
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I would actually love to throw myself down on the ground and throw the worlds biggest tantrum like that ad that used to be on TV.........wonder what reaction you would get..............obviously not something i would do on a regular basis but wouldnt mind giving it a go just for a laugh
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Bizzy
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 1:51pm |
i wouldnt give him an uncooked meal, thats just mean. surely it cant be too hard to have dinner ready an hour earlier... esp while hubby is away so then you can have things like spaghetti on toast, pasta with cheese and tomato, scrambled eggs on toast, corn fritters, chips and nuggets...
or alternatively you could have a snack of fruit ready for him at 5 to tie him over till dinner time... mine always get antsy about that time too and sometimes i give them bits of what i am cooking, some cheese maybe ...
i dont agree that saying thats nice dear is lowering to a child level, you are acknowledging that he said something but not giving it any weight. theres lots of other things you could say tho... like:
thats a shame
that hurts mummys feelings
oh well, i still love you regardless
or you could always get down and talk to him and say... i know you are angry at mummy and i dont mind you saying that you are angry but hating people isnt very nice at all ... Myabe you need to sit in your room and think about it for a while... (some may call that the namby pamby or talky talky method.)
at least you know when and why he gets grumpy at you, thats much easier to fix than random grumpy behaviour! 
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Bizzy
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 1:52pm |
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oh and just a thought - does he have an after school snack....? since i have been giving mine one they are much nicer in the early evening!
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arohanui
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 2:02pm |
Oh man, I'm not looking forward to that stage
Yep I'd be getting dinner ready earlier. Also I'd probably say something like "I don't like being around people who talk to me like that. You're allowed to be grumpy but you need to go somewhere else because I don't like being spoken to like that."
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Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... 
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 6:56pm |
I had a quick look at Ian Grant's book today, can't remember which book it is. Had somegood ideas and my neighbour is going to buy it so will have a quick read of it.
I think once I finish work it will be easier as I will be at home so dinnerwill be ready earlier for the boys.
He eats afterschool as they provide the food as part of our fee for it.
Today we had a good day and nothing has been said, but I think that was because of he early night last night and dinner at 5.30pm. I would use the crockpot but it is too hot here to have it going at the moment.
Will try some things suggested and see if it works on him.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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LouD
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Posted: 22 February 2010 at 7:45pm |
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I have found it heaps easier once i finished work to have a baby. I used to have people telling me to have dinner earlier etc and they would have kids in bed by 7pm...........cos i was working full time we were lucky to be eating by 7pm, we werent getting in the door until 6pm.........I dont want to EVER go back to work. my life is so much easier now im not working, my housework is always done, my washing always done, dinner always early and im even baking.........ive been working full time since my 2nd was 10months old and hes now almost 6yrs old. I manage to find time to do all of the above and have a 10week old baby........my life is sooooo easy compared to doing all that plus working full time.
So Yes Becks, your life will be so much easier in one respect when your not working.............well it has for me!!
OH and I just to deal with stealing. he came home with a toy he took from a bag, so we have given him a suitable punishment of no TV for a week and he had to return item and apologise and explain to the boy when he took it etc.......hes been really good and extra well behaved tonight. I think he is very remorseful.....be nice to be this well behaved every night but i can imagine he will start getting grumpy with me when i say NO to TV every day and morning for the rest of the week
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I hate you
