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ButterflyMum 
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 Topic: what do you think?
Posted: 23 February 2010 at 4:01am |
Ok Emily has pretty bad exchema and it was suggested by my FIL girlfriend we should put jonola in her bath she said one of the peads at the hospital said it would be good.Well we decided we did not like the idea and said we would not be trying it we were trying to reduce the chemical's not bath her in them. Well we let them babysit last week. when I was talking to her today she infomed me she had put it in her bath.  .
Now my issue is not that it may or may not work its the fact that we had said we did not want to use it. My hubby is so mad its not the first time she has over stepped her place she is just FIL girlfriend so do you think we are over reacting or have a valid point? be honest.
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Henna79
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 6:32am |
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Not overeacting at all if you ask me. Emily is your child you decide things for her and they knew that you didn't want that in her bath and yet did it anyway. I don't know what I would do but I doubt I would let then babysit again.
Congrats on no 4 too Deb!!
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james
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 6:40am |
ohh i would be so mad personaly i would be having a few words with her. your child your rules
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BugTeeny
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 7:54am |
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Definitely not an overreaction, I agree.
You specified that you didn't want to do it - and gave your reasons - and she deliberately went against you and did it anyway.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 8:05am |
not an over reaction at all!!! janola! bloody hell!
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jazzy
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 8:16am |
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Your children your rules, does not matter what the issue is. I would not allow anyone to look after my children if they ignored them & did what they wanted.
She is right about the janola, you only need a small amount in the bath, it was also on good morning show. But it is up to you if you wanted to try it, your decision not hers.
Sounds like she is trying to slot in as a MIL would & not just a GF of FIL. I take it she is not really liked.
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ButterflyMum
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 8:18am |
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thankyou ladies no I just need to figure out how to deal with this I not good with face to face stuff.
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FreeSpirit
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 8:21am |
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I think you have a very valid point - you discussed her idea, decided it was not an option, comunicated this to her, and she went against your wishes. YOU are the parents. How dare she!
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blondy
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 8:39am |
I would be extremely mad if someone had gone against my wishes, especially if I'd discussed it specifically with them! 
I also had janola suggested to me by Nat's allergy specialist - I countered that tea tree oil did pretty much the same thing (the point is that it's meant to be antibacterial and stop the eczema getting infected).
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caliandjack
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:00am |
Totally understandable reaction, I'd be having words with her too, if you aren't confident yourself could you get DH to speak to her for you, I assume its his Dad's partner?
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 1:47pm |
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Totally agree with everyone else, your child, your rules.
But mainly wanted to say congrats on number 4 ! I didn't even know you had her !
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 3:49pm |
omg definitly not an over reaction!!!
Janola!!?? I would go off my nut.
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EmDee
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 5:04pm |
Definitely not an overreaction I'd be furious too!
As it is FIL's GF I would be getting DH to talk to her or his dad about it and I'd be really hesitant to have her babysit again.
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pikelets
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Posted: 23 February 2010 at 7:13pm |
I would be pretty angry too.
If it was me...my first reaction would be to go off my nut!!!!
2nd reaction....don't know..... 
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Daenis
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Posted: 24 February 2010 at 6:50am |
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Hi there, this is one of the first posts I've responded to... but I just had to because I was so mad on your behalf!!!!
I have heard of it being used in baths but if you'd already said no, she had no right to go against your wishes.
Totally out of order.
Edited by Daenis
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Jelly
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Posted: 24 February 2010 at 9:39am |
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Bloody hell, I'd throw a hissy! "No we don't want to bleach the baby" "Ok that's fine, I'll just do it while you're not looking"??
I don't know what I'd say to her though. I can think of plenty I'd WANT to say!
I probably wouldn't let them babysit again for quite a while though.
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Raspberryjam
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Posted: 24 February 2010 at 2:41pm |
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I have heard of janola too, but like everyone else has said, you had already expressed to her how you felt - Id be ****** furious and tell her so.
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Bberry
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Posted: 24 February 2010 at 3:47pm |
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Ooooh that would make my blood boil!
I can see the potential for a similar situation to happen in my family. I recently had a discussion with my MIL about people smacking other people's children (after my SIL smacked my other SIL's child - lightly, but still...) and my MIL told me that if one of her grandchildren hits out at her she won't hesitate to smack them back! I told her in no uncertain terms that I won't tolerate ANYONE (other than my DH - if he and I choose to use that sort of discipline) smacking my children! Needless to say, I'm now very hesitant to let my in-laws babysit my DD as she gets older. And if I hear/see/suspect that anyone has hit her, that'll definitely be the last time they look after her and I'll be telling them exactly how I feel about them deliberately going against my wishes.
I feel for you... it's not an easy situation to be in, but I think you/your DH should say something - you need to assert your rights as parents.
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what do you think?
