Am I being unreasonable

It's totally up to you! I would think it's easier to tell people now that you don't want any visitors until you're ready for it. You never know, it might be different once bubs is here and you might actually want to see people. But at least if you let them all know now, it will be on your terms.

I was really mean when Callum came home. I still let people come over to visit but if he was asleep then, too bad, they weren't even allowed in his room for a peek!

We're not opening up for visitors for a while when this baby comes, either.

Unlike your DH, mine is on the same page (in fact, he saw how frazzled I was when Hannah was a nb so he's enforcing it, which is good).

As joshierocks said, perhaps don't put a time limit on it. Just go at your own pace and do whatever you have to do to get yourself, and the kids, into a good routine.

We're just going to play it by ear. As much as I'd love to have lots of people around to help, I think it's important for DH and I to keep Hannah on an even keel until she's used to the new baby and a tired Mummy.

Of course, things may be different once the baby arrives, you may find you want people stopping by.

Play it by ear and do what's right for you, bugger everyone else

I haven't read the replies but why don't you say, hey we don't want loads of visitors at first. If you really want to come over how about texting me and I'll get back to you if its a good day and we are settled but don't be offended if we don't text back in a hurry.

Your house, your baby, your rules! Do what feels right for you and your family.

We always got people to call or text first, I told them appropriate times to come over (more so for number 1, as I was having major BF issues) and if they couldn't make it, tough. From day one I said that if they come around and I'm not in the lounge, don't bother knocking on the door because I'll be asleep

Unfortunately, MIL can't quite grasp the concept of being invited over, so it didn't happen with her, but everyone else was great about it.

I dont think youre are being unreasonable. Perhaps, like others have said, dont set a time limit just go with it and see how you feel.

We were lucky in the fact that we were in Aus and dont have any family close to us so they needed to ring or text first. As for friends, most of them text first and then I told them when it was ok for us and fitted into our day etc.

Ella what a great idea. We didnt tell anyone I was in labour which was the best thing ever too!

You're not being unreasonable at all. I said no visitors for one week . After our experience after DD was born , i put my foot down. It was lovely just to have the four of us for that week. We all bonded with DS and we spent loads of time with DD as well.

You have to do what is best for you

You're not being unreasonable at all, this bubs will be our first and I don't want to be bombarded with visitors for the first couple of weeks and bubs and I are feeling a bit more settled with BF etc.

Christmas is 6 weeks after my DD, figure people can wait till then.

Can you get hubby to explain it to them, if they're a bit sensitive about it.

People arent wanting to visit to stress you out and make things hard for you. They genuinely want to come and see you and the baby. People want to help as well and they expect to be asked to do something or other. I think it very reasonable to ask them to bring lunch if they are coming that time of the day too (i have done so).

i dont think it unreasonable to ask them to call or text first, that way you can get them to pick up milk or coffee or whatever else you may need on the way.

I think the hospital is the perfect place for visitors, you dont have to worry about the mess, or getting them to make coffee in a less than clean kitchen, you can get them to look after the baby while you shower and put on your makeup (or whatever).

i personally am slightly offended that people dont want me to come and look at their creation and oooh and ahh after it as soon as possible!

oh but reading your original post i would say that when people do visit dont change things for them. Do what you want when you want and if that means they have to sit in the lounge and entertain themselves then so be it...   use the opportunity to get them to entertain the toddler, or give them the baby to hold while you do something with the toddler. the visitors will be happy and so will your toddler.

Edited by Bizzy