Constant illness

My DD was 6 weeks prem and has been plagued with constant illnesses. In her 16.5 months she has had:

17 lots of bronchiolitis (including 4 hospital admissions)
3 ear infections
2 chest infections
3 lots of tonsilitus
Croup
Bronchitus
2 gastro bugs
A throat infection
2 viral illnesses that resulted in nasty rashes
Glue ear
2 plain old colds that didn't result in bronchiolitis

33 illnesses in the 66 weeks since she was born. Plus she had severe reflux as well, and was prem so had a few issues that related to that too.

I guess heading in our second winter I am wondering what I can do to keep myself sane. Last winter was really really hard, I had no support from my DH (we separated in November so I am now a single parent) and I work 30 hours a week. I've done as much as I can to boost Gabrielle's immune system, herbal tonics and vitamins, chiro, osteo and probiotics, but now I need something for me.

I am already scared about this coming winter, trying to cope with Gabrielle who sleeps really badly and is very clingy when she is sick and balance getting my work done as well. I have no sick leave left and no annual leave so I can take a limited amount of unpaid leave but thats about it. Last winter I worked from home when Gabrielle was sick and ended up completing most of my work at night when she was asleep and in the weekends when I could get someone else to look after her. I don't think that I am going to be able to cope with that this year; it was very hard to get up 10+ times a night to Gabrielle when she was at her worst and then basically work all hours to get things done round her. She cries a lot when she is sick and needs a lot of attention, plus I can't count on her to sleep during the day when I need to work.

Does anyone have any ideas on some stragies for coping on an ongoing basis? Or has anyone been through this and has some pointers for me? I am just struggling to figure out how to balance being a mum to a child who is sick most of the time with working and having a wee bit of time to myself.

Do you need to work? Like can a benefit give you everything you need? maybe you are also entitled to respite care and a child disability allowence for your little girl
When you are at work - where does your daughter go?
I have a sick kid and its bloody hard work when they arent well in the general senseI have found a few services now that Im not working but it depends on your financial circumstances as to whether they are too pricey or funded
you are welcome to pm me if you dont want the world to know

The home care nannies are more expensive - I checked that out too, as I finished work to look after my babe, but an au pair is definately cheaper i you have room in your house - child care and a helping hand
The winz website has cut off levels for assistance on accom and childcare - but Im assuming you have looked at this already, the same with WFF - if you havent get on to it like jazzy said

I just bought a vaporiser for winter, to pop in my girls room so she is breathing in menthol etc thorugh the night if she shows any signs of cold symptoms - and yip - got the flu jab yesterday
Also a dehumidifier would be good to clean the air while she sleeps
maybe pop her on floradix or something to support her immune system
We dont let sick people in the house and use hand sanitiser etc
We have something in auckland called parent port - that gives you a break for a couple of hours - maybe ask citizens advice in your town about similar services
Im assuming you have family near by? maybe they will look after her while you have a coffee instead of only while you work
Um also where is her dad - does not have her at all - if you can be bothered with having him around maybe he can take her for an afternoon

Thanks for the responses everyone. I have my parents as support (G and I live with them at the moment) but they both work very long hours and so the amount of support is limited. Both of them leave for work at 7.30am, my Mum gets home at 6pm but my Dad is often not here till after 7pm. My parents are great but I do all the nights myself, they will often take G during the day on the weekend so I can get some work done but I struggle with sleep deprivation and because they work such long hours I don't feel I can ask them for more than the odd night.

Yeah, I do need to work. I have a mortgage (house is rented out at the mo but I have to pay the shortfall between rent and the mortgage, plus pay board here). I already get family assistance but am not entitled to the accomodation supplement. WINZ do pay a subsidy for G's childcare costs though. Im not on the bones of my bum but I certainly don't have enough money to work less if that makes sense, and my work have told me that I either work the 30hrs or find a new job, they don't want anyone working less than that.

I have looked in to getting a nanny but as far as I can see this would be more than what I am paying now for her to be in daycare. I looked in to in home care but haven't been entirely comfortable with the idea. G is very very attached to her carer at daycare (she cries when she leaves daycare) and with all the other disruption in her life (her Dad is not very consistant with access) I am torn between uprooting her from where she is clearly happy and needing to keep her away from sick kids.

jazzy what kind of equipment do you mean? G has seen several paeds at the hospital in the last year or so and they have all said that she will grow out of this, for some reason she is especially vulnerable (prob coz she was prem) and that when she gets to 2 she will be stronger and not get sick so much. She's had immunoglobulins (sp?) checked and they are normal so paeds say there is not much else they can do.

Thanks for the idea about parent port Rasberry Jam. I will have to look into that and see if Tga has anything like that. G's Dad has her one afternoon and all day Friday so he does have some contact, but he cant cope when she is sick. Last year when she was in hospital the first two times he never even visited her coz he thought he might be getting a cold (never mind the fact that her and I were both realy sick and she was in isolation from the other kids on the ward).

I guess I am really just looking for a way to mentally cope with the fact that she is going to get sick and I will be under a lot of pressure. I have been so shattered this week from stress and lack of sleep that I have really struggled. I just don't know how I will cope with a whole nother winter of it.

oh sweet, you are really stuck in a hard place.

I have no family so I just had to make a call for my girl, to put her in homecare, and keep her best interests in mind. Little ones are pretty resilient, and form relationships pretty quickly when there are only a few in the home
We would ave ended up in hospital all winter with any other care and to date at 2 she has only had 3 head colds
I quit work after 6 months to take care of her , but just cause its a long day for them when you work fulltime like I did
they definately seem more resilient as they get
bigger, my girl is almost 2 and has had next to no issues in the last year
I used porse and they are funded somewhat, and paid for by winz, so if you are covered now you would be covered with them
I paid $220 a week with a $30 porse subsidy, but wasnt eligibale for winz