Making new friends

i was saying something similar the other day to one of the other mums on here who i had recently met. i think that there does need to be some sort of connection between you. and there is a big difference to an acquaintance and a friend.

i have joined coffee groups and playgroups and tried plunket groups... and mostly there is no connection with one specific person but there are certainly other mothers i get along with and would spend my time with at that particular activity.

it is hard to make friends but i think you have to just keep trying and putting yourself in situations where you will meet people.

kebakat wrote: Thats one big reason I don't bother with coffee groups and playgroups etc is that I went to one and felt no connection with anyone, didn't gel with anyone and didn't think I'd end up doing anything with anyone outside of that set time. I'm slow to make new friends I can be quiet but I can also be very outspoken and its not everyones cuppatea.

I think I'm the same. I am rather quiet meeting people for the first time, but I can be very out spoken and am definitely not shy or afraid to hold back.

Hi Ladies

I know the feeling. Have been in Auckland for 5 or so years now & the only "friends" I have made are customers (I work in reatil) so they're not close or anything lol.
My other half also does not like meeting new people very much (I'm the opposite) so it can be difficult. I'm hoping now I'm pg I'll meet a wider range of people but you do need to connect.
My best friend is at the other end of the North Island.

I am totally the same and I have lived in Auckland all my life! It might be an Auckland thing. I went away for a few years overseas and when I got back we'd all sort of moved on. The only stable friends I have remaining live ages away from me and are so busy with their lives it's hard to find time to catch up with them.

I think it's hard making friends in Auckland. And I think it takes time. I enjoy my SPACE group but there's only one person out of all of them that I really have clicked with.. likewise, one person from my coffee group that I've clicked with too and we're still not good friends yet. It's a lonely experience, but good to know I'm not alone!

Everywhere in Auck seems to take a lot of planning to get to as well imo iykwim!

Jaime, try a coffe group, you never know until you try one! Our WGTN Dennys one is pretty great

Oh I could have written that post...

Sometimes I regret travelling and moving away from my friends as they have all moved on and I am in another country searching for a connection with someone...

I have made friends but as I said to someone the other day, there is that one gal who I know I can call anytime anyday or just drop in because I was nearby and not have to call first.

I really miss having that close bond with someone and its taken a toll on my ability to socialise with strangers and my relationship with DH....

But as Bizzy said, you just gotta keep putting yourself out there and hope that one day you meet someone you click with... It really is worse than dating LOL

disco check out the no friends auckland thread... a few of the girls are meeting at sylvia park on weds next week....

Chickoin wrote: I think there should be mother's groups where you leave the kids at home with dad and all meet up at the pub....

Like!

I have lived in NZ for 10 years now and have still not got a best friend or any real close friends.
When I first arrived I most;y befriended other foreign au pairs who eventually moved back home. I found this really hard as I put a lot of effort into building these friendships which in the end lead nowhere.
Once I met DH he introduced me to some of his friends but I just could not find anything in common with any of them. I was also very shy and not very confident in the English lanuage. It also didn't help that he was going through a lot of change during this time and was moving away from these people (thank god!)

I believe to make friends as an adult is incredibly hard. I don't play sports and have no children yet (I always thought having a baby will help making friends but am now unsure after reading this thread) I often think to myself 'oh maybe I should ring such and such and catch up' but then don't do it as I think she is probably busy with one of her other friends. And who knows this person might be thinking the exact same thing about me!?

So, yes I also don't have any real friends here. A real friendship needs time to grow and be developed and maybe adults are just to busy to invest in this?

Maybe somebody needs to set up a 'find your best friend' website, similar to a dating website?

[QUOTE=Chickoin]Friendless over here too Seriously, not a single one.
[QUOTE]

 

Me too

I had lots of friends while at school and uni and never had any problem meeting people, but they all moved away and our friendships fizzled. The ladies in my coffee group are fantastic and I get along with them really well, but like someone else said, I miss having that type of friendship where you can just rock up to their house uninvited and put the jug on IYKWIM

I actually wonder if I'll ever have this again

Edited by MamaT