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Mitchymoo 
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Joined: 16 August 2010
Location: Auckland
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 Topic: Just found out....need some advice!! :)
Posted: 16 August 2010 at 8:38pm |
Hi there, I have recently found out that I am 6 weeks pregnant. I have found a brilliant midwife. My issue if that she will be away until 1 week before my due date (for about ten days). Im wondering if anyone who haschildren could tell me if this is ok? Or am I going to be stressing and need her around? My mum and Mother in law both live in other parts of the country and I am so nervous at this early stage!!! Any advice would be very welcome! 
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ginger
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 8:45pm |
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It really is up to you, how you feel about possibly having someone stand in right at the end. From my perspective, the role of my LMC during labour was huge and the relationship I had with him meant I had absolute trust in all the decisions he was making, and he was such an enormous support to both my husband and I - the thought of having someone I didn't know stand in at that stage makes me feel a bit chilly. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, and I may well be alone in my feelings, but if it was me and I was having No. 2 I wouldn't go with someone who might not be available at a crucial time.
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Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00
Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41
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ginger
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 8:46pm |
Sorry ... that sounds really negative ... I don't mean to be  I think it's just that once you've been through birth, you know what's coming and how much you need your trusted support crew 
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Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00
Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41
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Rovic
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 8:48pm |
I found out at about 20 weeks that my mw was going to be away for 2 weeks from 4 days post due date. I met her back up a few times before my mw went away and am so glad that I did as I was 10 days overdue. I ended up being induceed in hospital and had hopsital mw's at the birth as well as the back up. To be honest, that was fine for the labour, but I would have loved having my mw for the week after the birth as that was when I really needed the support. The back up was so busy and over worked at that time that she didn't give me the support I needed and I nearly ended up fully ff my bubba.
So in a nut shell (sorry am sleep deprived), I would probably stick with your mw if you get on with her, but make sure you meet her back up and like her too.
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Mitchymoo
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 9:09pm |
Thanks Ginger + Rovic. Please don't worry about being negative....I need the help! all of my family live elsewhere, and so do my girlfriends!! My husband and I both feel a little bit lost and are so unsure about everything. I really appreciate the advice. Thank you.
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HoneybunsMa
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 9:19pm |
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They should have a back up mw. My MW was going to be away either at the time or sometime before my EDD but took me on and I loved her. She said I could meet the back up anytime I wanted I just had to let her know. She often suggested that I meet her but I wasn't too concerned.
Towards the end when you start having 2weekly/weekly appointments then you could alternate between the two of them then you've met your back up mw and can become familiar with them. Remember also that your mw may not be able to attend your birth she may have had births before yours, been up too long, be sick etc so its worthwhile meeting your back up jic anyway.
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MyLilSquishy
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Joined: 25 July 2009
Location: Dunedin
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 9:31pm |
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tbh when i was looking for a lmc, i didnt go further than a phone interview who was going away a month either side of my due date. as it was a first time pregnancy, i had no idea what was going to happen and when, and mum saying "thats normal" just didnt cut it iygwim? lol. its good that you found out so early though. ive had friends who found out that their mw was going on holiday by their DD only about 2 weeks before they went... they werent happy!
personally i would look for someone else, but if you really get along with them (totally understandable) then make sure that you have whole appointment/check ups with the back-up... not just meet her a couple of times.
HTH and hope i didnt sound b!tchy coz thats not my intention! lol sorry in advance if it does!
and good luck hun! lots of sticky vibes your way :)
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KiwiL
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 10:11pm |
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My midwife was away when I had Jackson (several days early) and I had her back up midwife.
I had met her beforehand and was completely fine with her. She was very good to me when in labour. To be honest, I didn't care about much except getting him out at the time - he could have been delivered by monkeys for all I cared!!
Of course, I trusted her and the hospital staff and I think that is the main thing.
Much better to have a good midwife all the way through than just settle for someone *in case* you pop early. My opinion anyway.
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Richie
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 10:21pm |
Congrats on your pregnancy!
I would have been lost without my MW during labour. It was great to have someone I trusted with me (aside from my DF of course). She didn't actually end up beng there for the birth as I was in labour for 32hrs so towards the end she was barely functioning and I ended up having a C-Sec so she went home and left me in the hands of the hospital MW. By then I was too tired to care tho lol. It was great to have her around for the few weeks post-birth as well. Because we'd gotten to know each other well during my pregnancy, I felt that I could talk to her about absolutely anything, and she knew if I was feeling down, even when I'd try to cover it up an say everthing was fine 
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kellie
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 10:26pm |
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My midwife told me she wouldn't be there on Xmas day...I thought that would be fine as that was 11 days after my due date...
Of course I went into labour on Xmas eve. The back up midwives were fine :) I was very happy in their care.
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nathansmummy
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 10:46pm |
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I think if you like her backup then it's fine. If you don't then find someone else because it's not ideal. There are other really nice midwives out there (so I'm told! Mine was awful...) so you don't have to go with her. But if you really like her backup then it shouldn't be a problem...
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kiwi2
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 11:04pm |
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My best out of all three deliveries was done by the back up I had never met and my midwife arrived 20 mins after he was born. Even without holidays your midwife can be absent. There was another lady in labour when I went into labour. What I really needed was post labour feeding help etc. For me during labour it wasn't essential to have the relationship.
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TheKelly
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 11:52pm |
Congrats on your pregnancy
with my second, the midwife I had had all the way through was off on her weekend break when I had Tyler , I saw her the day my labor started but she finished at 3pm that day , so I got her back up .
By the time I was at the birthing centre and needed her I didn't care if it was her , or the queen who delivered my baby , but thats just me .
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caliandjack
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Posted: 17 August 2010 at 9:34am |
I am having a similar situation with my MW in that she has a few of us due around the same time so I am meeting with her and her back up from the beginning.
My situation is a little different in that I am changing MWs at 35 weeks, due to relocating. As long as you are comfortable with both MW and back up then I wouldn't worry about it. You may well end up with both of them involved during labour anyways.
You have plenty of time to develop a relationship with your MW.
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Nutella
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Posted: 17 August 2010 at 10:27am |
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Over where I live it is totally different, I didn't have a lead carer, didn't even see the same midwives/drs when I went for my check ups. To be honest, it didn't bother me at all because I felt like they all added their own skills to the mix.
When it came to delivery it was just whatever midwife was on duty that night at the hospital and I couldn't have asked for a better midwife, she saved my babies life.
I don't know what I would think in NZ now but having had this experience, it wouldn't bother me who delivered my baby as long as he was safe.
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mummyofprinces
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Posted: 17 August 2010 at 11:45am |
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I would just alternate appts to be honest.. there is no guarentee your mw will be available the day you go onto labour anyway!
I would just make sure she is taking on less patients so that her backup isnt stretched while she is away...
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fire_engine
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Posted: 17 August 2010 at 12:23pm |
Defintely ask to meet the MW (must do this too!).
DS was delivered by the backup + OBV and that was fine - I knew the back up well. My MW told me at 8pm after 12 hours of labour that she didn't work past 8pm 
This one, I've just found out my MW has her rostered weekend off when I'm 8 days overdue. I'm fully anticipating going overdue and would love bubs to stay put till she's back on, but if not, then I have a fab support crew who will be advocates for me, and I'll have a written birth plan as well.
I do remember that when DS was born, I didn't care who delivered him as long as they got him out! THis time, I'm probably going to be a bit more stroppy and want some specific support, so I figure I'll just be clear about what I want in advance.
So in summary (!), I'd stick with her and make sure you get to meet the backup as well.
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Mum to two wee boys
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ALittleLoopy
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Posted: 17 August 2010 at 4:33pm |
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my mw just told me that the 3 - 4 days before my due date that she will be away at a conference and will be using her back ups, im not happy about it but bubs will come when she wants and not to any one elses schedule, its not different if a lady goes into labour on her books that same day as you...i only got told at 35weeks though so if you want to change mw id do it early on, iv built a repor with mine so wont be changing and just risking it...
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TheKelly
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Posted: 17 August 2010 at 4:38pm |
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I built a good rappor with mine too,but when I was yelling for mercy from the pain lol, I didn't care which midwife I saw , in fact , I could have done it without anyone just as long as he came OUT
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freckle
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Posted: 17 August 2010 at 4:43pm |
It wouldn't worry me too much, Id met the back-up a few times and was fine with either of them being there... as long as someone was Like others have said you always run the risk of another woman going into the labour at the same time and having the back-up anyway... Also with your first baby the chances are you won't deliver early anyway ... no guarantees of course but first babies are often a little later....
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mum to 3 lovely girls :D
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Just found out....need some advice!! :)
Oct 11
