My random piece of writing

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    "What mum? stop looking at me "

I shake my head, and come back to the present day, my 8 year old girl in the water infront of me with the sun shining off the top of her head.

Beautiful.

"Why do you stare at me like that? its ANNOYING ! " she proclaims.

I smile,because I know I can never fully explain it to her.

How do I explain that when Im looking at her, I don't just see her as she is now, but a tiny baby only minutes old searching round for the sound of my voice,like a guiding light to comfort her, or a baby 2 hours old, when everyone else had gone home and we were together alone for the first time in our lives and I vowed to protect her with all my being.

Or later when she learnt to walk for the first time,tottering towards me looking so proud

Her first day at Kindy, her first day at school, her first school certificate....

I look at her and see millions and millions of memories

But then how do I also explain that I look at her and see a beautiful teenager, years of conflict and sadness, goodtimes and laughter ahead?

that I look at her and see my baby walking down the aisle to the man she loves, who I have deemed worthy enough of my treasure?

Or that I look at her and see grandbabies I can dote on and spoil

I see a gift of tomorrow,when I look at her

and then,possibly the hardest to explain to her,that I see all the women in our family that have come and gone, strong kind women....I look at her and see history in her bones.

How on earth do you explain that to an eight year old? that when I see her, I see a present day child, a past baby, and a future woman , with the strength of many dwelling in her blood.

A being that makes me proud to have brought her into the world, who makes me want to be a better person, who makes me want the world  a better place, simply because of who she is to me?

You can't.

So I kiss the top of her head and smile at her, watching as she dives under another wave .

Sometimes....there are just no words.

Edited by TheKelly