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Keleho
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Topic: VR with a big bed Posted: 24 October 2011 at 10:50am |
Anyone tried verbal reassurance with a 18(ish) month old when they are in a big bed?
We have been trying this to get DD to settle herself to sleep without DH or myself lying with her (which is causing her to wake at night needing to be resettled the same way, less than ideal!) and although it does work (she falls alseep within 5 minutes in the day, within 20 minutes at night), she always falls asleep right behind her door (which we close after she comes out 3 times, and she does that every time).
Her door opens inwards and is sticky (you kinda have to force it) so as soon as I try to get in to move her to her bed, she wakes and it starts the whole process again. That's fine for her day sleep as its warm enough but not so much at night.
Ideas on how to get around that??
Our other option which we having been trying is gradual removal from the room - i.e. first couple of nights I sit on her bed rather than lying next to her, then I move to a seat in her room, then sitting by the door, then just out the door etc until I dont need to be in there at all. It is reducing her night wake ups but its bloody slow going and last night shes gone backwards a bit with it - was hysterical until I sat on the bed and kept hold of my hand, I had been on the chair at that stage (not to mention its bloody uncomfortable sitting on the bed for as long as its taking when you are the size of a whale).
Any suggestions would be great!
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squoggs
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Posted: 24 October 2011 at 1:02pm |
we haven't attempted this yet, but have been thinking about it. Have you made a sudden transition from cot-bed or a more gradual one? We plan to have the big bed in DDs room for a while (few weeks) until she shows interest in it, then start off by having day sleeps/naps in it, then progress to night sleeps, then remove the cot altogether once she is sleeping as well in the big bed.
If you still have your cot, it might be worth trying this for a while? I see you also have #2 on the way, did you want the cot free for them with a descent gap so your DD wouldn't be suddenly kicked out of it? We are planning to use a bassinet for as long as possible with #2 so we can do the transition slowly (although having long babies this might back-fire!) and hopefully wean #1 onto a big bed a few months after #2s arrival, but if #1 is not coping with the change, we plan to buy a second cot and just suck it up!
eta - didn't really answer your question, but personally think that not a lot of point trying VR until all other options regarding cots/even a portacot have been exhausted - I know with our DD that she would just get pissed off with a sudden change to a big bed (unless we are travelling - in which case its a novelty and she copes well). Another option - which we use when travelling - would be to use a P&T wriggle wrapper, and attach her to the bed - although this might make things worse!
Edited by squoggs
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Keleho
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Posted: 24 October 2011 at 2:46pm |
We had to make a sudden one as when we tried VR at 14 months, she climbed out of her cot and faceplated the floor. Result being a chipped front tooth and her being terrified of her cot. So she's been in the bed for 4 months so far (which is a mattress on the floor, her new bed is at BILs house an hour away and we haven't had the time to go and get it with calving).
The 'plan' was to make the transition about now when she should have had her sleep sorted (with the above mentioned VR) but that was not to be. Wasn't too worried about moving before bub comes as our bassinet is massive and could easily cover the first 6 months for new baby.
Tricky, tricky huh!
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Shelt
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Posted: 24 October 2011 at 3:48pm |
I don't really have any useful help but I do remember that stage and it was horrible. I think I spent about 6 months doing the whole gradual withdrawal thing at bedtime - I used to take my book with a booklight (kind of like a torch) and sit in her doorway with my back to her and read for as long as it took for her to go to sleep. Unfortunately my daugher used to sit up and watch me and as soon as I looked like moving she would sit up and cry. In the end I told her that I would come back in 2 minutes and then I would do "popping" back in at longer and longer intervals. I think I started by putting her to bed and telling her I would be back to check in 2 minutes, then came back and told her she was a good girl to be lying quietly and I would be back to check in 5 minutes etc. Sometimes that worked and sometimes not.
Hope things get better for you.
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squoggs
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Posted: 24 October 2011 at 5:24pm |
Oh no KerryLea, that sounds really rough :-( Hope someone pops in here with something helpful, i'm dreading the transition too!
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Danda08
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Posted: 24 October 2011 at 7:35pm |
Could you use a safety gate or barrier across the door instead of shutting it? Then she would still be in her room but you'd be able to step over it to get her when she falls asleep.
Also someone mentioned a P&T Wriggle Wrapper above, I was thinking along the same lines of a Safety Sleep cos they fit on single beds.
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Keleho
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Posted: 24 October 2011 at 7:40pm |
Had thought about that too Danda but she will just shut the door and create the same issue.
Wriggle wrap could be a solution but I suspect that she may not react well to it as she hates being restricted (she was never one to like being wrapped past about 3 months and hates her blankets being too tight) - maybe she would just need to get used to that?
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Danda08
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Posted: 24 October 2011 at 8:12pm |
Tough situation. Have you tried posting on The Sleepstore FB page to see if they or any of their community have any suggestions?
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