20 month old terror!

I'm a bit lost with my 20 month old DD at the moment. She is having HUGE tantrums, which now include hitting and pinching me, and other kids as well. With kids it tends to start when she wants a toy they have and tries to snatch it, so I have to intervene. She then gets so angry, screaming and yelling, at starts striking out.

I just don't know what to do about it :( I have tried time out, but it just seems to make her even angrier (I'm not sure if she's just too young to understand the process) and then it takes much longer for her to calm down. Distraction is usually inneffective too, and the more she gets told off the harder it seems to get. I have tried a softly softly approach, telling her that hitting isn't nice etc, but nothing is sinking in.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant, so am soon going to have another baby to think of as well as her, and just don't know how I'm going to cope with her tantrums as well as the demands of a newborn. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

DD has been the same here for the last couple of months. She started getting very angry, hitting and biting lots (mostly me though, haven't had the issue with hitting other kiddies thankfully) over the last two months or so.

I think with her its partially knowing that I cant move as quickly or as easily with the big bump in the way, partially her knowing a big change is about to happen, and partially just being a toddler pushing the boundaries to see what she can get away with.

Try and stay firm with what is acceptable and what isn't, and pick your battles (it gets bloody exhausting otherwise!) - I ignore the yelling/screams/temper tantrums where possible (eventually she will stop), hitting/biting is a big no-no and she goes straight in her room with the door shut (she hates going in there, always cries but it works for us). How does Jojo react to being shut in her/a room? K will generally scream and cry for a bit but a few minutes seems to be enough for her to get the message and me to regain my composure IYKWIM.

It has worried me so much thinking that the newbie is going to get pummelled but she has calmed down a lot in the last week or two (still got an issue with kicking me, usually when Im changing her though so DH is taking over a bit there). We will have the portacot set up in the lounge to pop baby in so K cant attack if Im not in view - not ideal but it keeps baby safe from her.

Its hard work, what works for K may not work for J but I do share your frustration. Hope she calms down for you soon xx