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Mitsi
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Joined: 10 November 2013
Location: Wellington
Points: 46
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Posted: 03 July 2015 at 6:02pm |
Yay nzveggie - congratulations! Kumeroa, feel free to pm me if you want to know anything, I found it a pretty lonely, confusing time as there's just not much out there about ectopics. It felt like I was just supposed to get over it. Did they remove your tube? Just a warning, if you get sent for the dye test it's quite painful. I wasn't expecting it to hurt so it was pretty awful. I also cried a whole bunch during and after so take support with you. Also, I have a bunch of fertility issues so I'm sure once you're TTC again it won't take you nearly as long to get your BFP as it did me - fx for you! (And everyone else on here )
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Kumeroa
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Joined: 22 July 2012
Points: 1103
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Posted: 04 July 2015 at 6:58pm |
Thanks Mitsi there is definitely not a lot of info about. Yes lost a tube as mine ruptured before we even knew. We thought I had miscarried 2 weeks prior to surgery. At this stage I have no follow ups. It took us 18 months to conceive DD and 9 months for ectopic so anything in next year would be nice. Finding 3 month stand down from Ttc hard
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TTC #2 since July 2014. Have had 3 ectopics May 15, Oct 15 and Aug 16. IVF is the only option now as no tubes left DD1 born Jan 14
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Mitsi
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Joined: 10 November 2013
Location: Wellington
Points: 46
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Posted: 04 July 2015 at 7:30pm |
That drove me nuts too. Although it took nearly that long for AF to come back anyway. Fx for you!
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Kumeroa
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Joined: 22 July 2012
Points: 1103
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Posted: 04 July 2015 at 7:51pm |
I'm lucky af came back 5 weeks after surgery so that's a bonus
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TTC #2 since July 2014. Have had 3 ectopics May 15, Oct 15 and Aug 16. IVF is the only option now as no tubes left DD1 born Jan 14
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LuckyJade
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Joined: 22 March 2015
Points: 18
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Posted: 05 July 2015 at 8:27pm |
Good luck for your daughters appointment Iceland, I can imagine that revisiting where you had the dnc will be difficult. Kia kaha.
I can only imagine how scary it must be for you Poppy. All the f&^#ing waiting is the thing that drives me mad. Waiting to concieve, waiting for an appointment, waiting to see if something is normal. Enough to drive you potty. I hope you are feeling better down there and your appointment with the midwife comes around quick for you.
Just after the dnc I went to my Dr and she did a depression test on my (positive). She is a great Dr and got me to see a councillor and just gave me some great advice. One thing she said which I think of whenever I am feeling horrid is to talk to myself as if I am my best friend instead of how I had been talking to myself (which was pretty nasty). She also gave me this website http://www.calm.auckland.ac.nz/ which has some great techniques for being more mindful. It really helped me through the depression caused by my mmc and I have been thinking it may help me now to stay away from obsessing over conceiving. Just wondering if anyone has any other helpful ideas on staying positive and sane through this process? Of course what works for one person wont work for everyone and everyones experiences are different but helpful strategies are better shared aye.
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MMC April 2015
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Iceland
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Joined: 06 October 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 268
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Posted: 16 July 2015 at 10:06pm |
I havent been on here for a while...thanks Lucky Jade, all went ok last week, guess i m starting to move on, trying to ttc. Today, i got a latrer from hospital from the tissue management unit to come collect " my baby" ( finalky, it took nearly 6 weeks to my surprise) . I hate the terms they use, so impersonal! I'm was a liitle human being.... 71/2 weeks in my case, but somehow im convinced it was a little girl. Im going to collect next week, and accually lookingnforward to it. Im sure this will help me to be more in peace. Have a little farewell ceremony. otherwise, im trying to focus on ttc again. and i agree, all the waiting " here and there and everywhere" can drive one potty:-) Great to hear, luckyJade that you met a great councillor and found what s working for you and getting on top of the depression! i dont have any tips really other then, trying to keep busy with things you enjoy, and a big one is an uderstanding family & friend (s). Take care!!! Its been bit quiet here lately.... how s everyone else doing?
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CoopersMummy
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Joined: 18 June 2009
Location: Dunedin
Points: 100
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Posted: 17 July 2015 at 9:21am |
Iceland, people are so insensitive, A persons a person no matter how small.
I had a friend discount miscarriage yesterday as something minor, obviously she's never been there. It seems people who have suffered loss in pregnancy at any point understand it's only ignorant people that seem to be able to discount baby loss
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Iceland
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Joined: 06 October 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 268
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Posted: 18 July 2015 at 3:08pm |
I agree, Coopers mummy. Must have been hard to listen to your friend to say that sort of thing. Hospital and medical staff are just clinical. afer having my mmc i was stunned how often mc accually is. Apart from my family, we ve told 4 friend and only after talking about it, i learned that 3 of them had a miscarriage in the past themselves! Its just more common accurance then most people think, and still it s a topic that is kept so quiet! Being more open about miscarriage, would only be benefical! It would bring more understanding from others, more support for those who are going through it.
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Poppy01
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Joined: 10 July 2011
Location: Auckland
Points: 455
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Posted: 03 August 2015 at 3:26pm |
Hi guys, just thought I'd jump in here for a bit of an update on me. After a bit of a scare this morning, I have just had my 12wk scan and all is on track and looking good. While I haven't yet felt like I can relax about this one, I'm hoping that will come in the next couple of days.
I hope you are all well.
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Kiwigirl75
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Joined: 18 June 2014
Points: 797
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Posted: 03 August 2015 at 5:43pm |
Hi, I have had two miscarriages a few years ago and have just gone through our first lot of IVF. We put to eggs in and at 7 weeks we found we had a blighted ovum. On 17th July I had a d and c. Ten days later had what I think was a af. However my hcg levels were still at 47 so we have to do another test this weds. Also had testing for recurrent miscarriages but no results back yet though the dr said often there is no info from those. I am finding the waiting hard we have two frozen eggs so can give it another go. I should feel lucky for those and I do but at same time am terrified of it not working again or having another short time were you get your hopes up! Does anyone else feel like this? I feel a little ungreatful reading some of the stories some of you have gone through.
Also after a d and c is there any point testing ovulation levels yet or do you have to wait for hcg to reach zero?
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Iceland
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Joined: 06 October 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 268
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Posted: 03 August 2015 at 9:52pm |
Hi Kiwigirl, i remember seeing really good helpfull info online re return of af after miscarriage and d&c. It was really informative and discussed recovery well. If i m right, one has to not bleed for min.20 day for it to be a real af. with regards of hormones and changes. I also think it said that ov test maybe showing positive results, eventhough ov isnt happening if hcg levels didnt go back to zero first. i personally had a mild pregnancy symptoms before true af arrives and apparently this isnt unusual either. It can be such a tough time. sorry, i cant manage to make a link to the web on ipad now , but you can try www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf I hope the results of your testing will be helpfull. All the best of luck. kiwigirl, no need to appologize for your feelings. They are you valid feelings. YEs, ALL the waiting it is so hard!! it s also hard to stop thinking what if it all repeats again! Be strong. I wish your dream of a baby comes true soon!
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Iceland
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Joined: 06 October 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 268
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Posted: 03 August 2015 at 9:55pm |
Poppy01, thanks for popping back! Its such a fantastic news!!! Great to hear all want well at your scan! I hope you ll be able to relax now and enjoy your pregnancy!
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Karenka
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Joined: 19 June 2011
Points: 235
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Posted: 03 August 2015 at 10:18pm |
Glad to hear things are going well Poppy, but sorry that you had a scare. I have been thinking of you and hoping it was all going well. 12 weeks - you really can start to relax a bit now (although I'm sure that's easier said than done!)
Kiwigirl sorry for your loss. Must be extra tough when you've had to go through all the hard stuff of IVF as well. In my experience it is normal to feel terrified of it not working again, and if you're in no hurry I would wait until you feel ready before your next round x
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TTC #2 April 2014. MCs: May 2014, November 2014, April 2015, August 2015. MMC: 10 weeks August 2016.
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MissAmz
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Joined: 01 January 2011
Points: 38
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Posted: 07 September 2015 at 4:36pm |
Hi ladies, I'm Amy, I lost our #2 at 9weeks, on 13th, on our #1's 4th birthday. Our baby was only measuring 6weeks, So technically a 'missed misscarrage I'm feeling ok, we've just moved house so timing obviously wasn't right, so I'm not ttc again. Won't have happened this month as my hubbie was in oz when I was due to ovulate! Is there a Facebook page for this group or just this thread? X
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Lesh77777
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Joined: 18 June 2015
Points: 81
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Posted: 09 September 2015 at 4:55pm |
Hi MissAmz I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and it must have been terrible to have it happen on your childs birthday. I've also just had a loss although very early at nearly 5 weeks, but this is 10 weeks after my first loss a mmc at 6 & 1/2 weeks. There doesn't seem to be any forums on mc that are current, or forums on other people ttc after mc that are more active as that is a road I would like to go down again but not yet. I have children already so I'm not sure if this is just bad luck or things have changed with me since my last baby nearly 5 years ago. I'll be keeping a look out to see if this thread becomes active again too. I'd love to hear lots of positive rainbow baby stories!
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Iceland
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Joined: 06 October 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 268
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Posted: 10 September 2015 at 1:57pm |
Hi Lesh and MissAmz, im sorry to see you posting here. Im soso sorry to hear about your losses! MissAmz, that s such a hard thing to go through on your little ones birthday. Im glad you are ok now. Lesh, any kind of loss no matter how early is a loss and it a tough thing. Take care. Yes, this forum used to be more active sometime ago and then sort of died down. I also feel its a pity because its an important one. Maybe if we can bring it back to life together, keep posting. This will also make it more 'visible' by appearing up the top of the menu with new post and maybe people will return or join. Lesh i also have chikdren already, 3 of them (8, 6 and 2 in two weeks time) and had my first missed miscarriage with no. 4. and the thing is that people tend to comment, sort of ' at least you alrady have children' which isnt helpfull at all, the opposite. Do take care ladies and always feel free to come and vent or chat here!!!
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Lesh77777
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Joined: 18 June 2015
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Posted: 10 September 2015 at 3:14pm |
Thanks for posting Iceland and sorry this has happened to you also. Do you mind me asking when your loss was and are you ttc again now? Yes I've already been told by a couple of people 'at least you already have children'. I do see why they would think that but it doesn't make the loss any different or how much you want a baby any less. If anything it is stronger because you already know the love of a child. I was told after my mmc just over 2 months ago that it was really bad luck but don't be put off it won't happen again as the chances are so low for 2 in a row, then voila it happened again. I've decided to get testing done before waiting for the magic number 3 mc that they say to have before testing. I see someone next Friday so I'll keep you posted how I get on.
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Lesh77777
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Posted: 10 September 2015 at 3:21pm |
I was just asking Iceland as I thought you may have been in my Due Feb 16 group earlier this year? But possibly I just recognise your name from the 2 week wait group!
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Iceland
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Joined: 06 October 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 268
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Posted: 11 September 2015 at 2:41pm |
Hi Lesh, so sorry to hear you had 2 mc now in a row!! That hard. I agree with your idea, not to wait for a 3 mc before getting tested. Good luck your appointment next Friday goes well!! and that they ll be understanding! As to me, yes, im in the 2ww thread, i 'moved overthere" when this thread sort of stopped.. I used to be in the January 16 due thread. I had a missed mc and only realise during the first scan that baby had no heartbeat and stopped developing at 7& 1/2 week. I tried to wait for a natural mc, but more then a week later had to have a d&c as nothing was happening. In the end i ended up hospitalised for 3 day with complications afterwards. Yes, we are ttc. I d like a close gap between my child no.3 and 4. but feel now the time is slowly starting to slip away. Will see. I have to say i think i was so naive how often mc accually do happen before i had mine. Its such a quiet topic and now from talking to people, i realised how comment this is. I sort of feel , it s not a bad luck. I d dare to say that one is rathar lucky to have children without going though one. (hope this doesnt sound to harsh). Take care !
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Karenka
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Joined: 19 June 2011
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Posted: 11 September 2015 at 7:59pm |
Sorry for your losses Amz And Lesh. I lurk around this thread too, but it's so quiet I spend more time in the tww thread these days. Glad you're getting the testing done Lesh - hopefully something can be done about your mcs. I've been ttc #2 for over 18 months now and have had 4 early mcs during the time. My test results showed that my mcs were likely age related. I'm 42 and have not given up yet, but I'm running out of time and not sure how many more mcs I can deal with.
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TTC #2 April 2014. MCs: May 2014, November 2014, April 2015, August 2015. MMC: 10 weeks August 2016.
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