at playgroup on weds,

my family never went to church but mum never stopped any of us from joining youth groups and going to church when we were a bit older. we also had religious instruction at school as well so we were well informed.
i don't really know how SDA differs from other religions, i've never really heard of them before.
if you don't want to go to church, i don't feel it;s really important that you go although i do think that all kids should be informed and be able to make up their own minds.

and i don't think you handled it badly.

Oh another option if you want your kids to learn about the Christian faith would be to send them along to a Sunday School. If they have any friends that go to one they could go with them.

Just an idea.

Yeah, I second the reading the bible stories... maybe?

My personal belief is that it is important to teach children values... Christian or otherwise... and if you do that through religion then that is great, or if you do it how you have currently been doing it and just incorporating it into your general parenting style, then that is just as important!


Edited to fix myself going too far off topic.

Edited by nikkiwhyte

I have periods when I feel like I really want to actively get involved in church but then I stop myself because i feel like a hypocrite and I think I would be going more for the social/community aspect than the actual religion side of things...

My husband is Roman Catholic and Josef has been christened. I was raised by parents that had both been raised in church going families but were dead against it and as a result we NEVER went to church and my mum even went so far as to forbid us from getting religious instruction at school and I wasn't allowed to play with my "best friend" after telling mum the reason I kept falling off my bike was that the devil was pulling me oiff!? (Kids say weird things)
Mum gave the reason for not raising us christian as "You can decide fro yourselves when you are older" - the only problem I now have with this is I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM DECIDING AS I HAVE NOTHING TO BASE MY DECISION ON! I have a warped anti church view on things I think and although I believe in the christian principles and like to think I try and live by them as much as possible - I can't stand actually going to church as I feel this is "fake" (I really don't want to offend anyone, but I am trying to show how I think this could have been avoided if we had been shown more as kids).

To cut a loooong story short - I will be, with Peter of course - making sure Joey has a BALANCED religious education which will involve him going to Sunday school and us going to church with him (maybe not every week) when he is a litle older and him at least doing his holy communion (which is around 8 years old in Germany - not sure here in NZ) and then we will reevaluate the situation. I think he will have a much better base this way from which to "decide" for himself when the time comes.

PHEW! What I am saying is basically the same as Liz - Just go along and see what it is all about, you don't have to go again!!

My Nana is SDA and the things I can remember is that we weren't allowed to watch TV or do any exercise on Saturdays, she has to give 10-15% of her income to the church and she was vegetarian and used to feed us this awful nut meat stuff (not sure if the vegetarian thing is related though!). Dad was raised very strictly SDA and HATED it with a vengence and never wanted me to have anything to do with it. I think that was more to do with having religion forced on him and used as an excuse for excessive discipline than that particular church.

If I ever showed an interest Mum let me go- I went to Sunday School with a friend for a bit when I was 5, went along with friends to the odd youth group or church camp. I think it was a really good balance- I never felt like anything religious was closed off to me but didn't feel it forced on me either.

If you're curious I think you should go along- don't feel pressured to 'join' until you've really thought about it though. Its a huge commitment for your enitre family.

As you know we're Catholic, although only semi-practising and even less so since the gremlins arrived. When I was really young only Dad went to church so we got a choice whether or not to go. I did make my first communion etc. tho. Then when I was about 10 my Mum became a catholic (she was raised Methodist) and all of a sudden we HAD to go to church coz no one else was at home to look after us. Not that I really minded then, and we went to Catholic schools, but as a teenager I had a bit of a difference of opinion with the church and stopped going for a long time.

I still have fundamental differences with some of the Catholic church's teachings (ie. no contraception yet we have an AIDS epidemic in Africa etc.), I remember reading it described somewhere as "smorgasbord religion" - where you pick and choose which teachings you'll follow, and the church leaders aren't too keen on the idea, but I guess I just take on what I believe in and let that shape my morals and values, and the same for my kids.

Maya is christened, and the twins will be too in due course, and they will go to Catholic schools because I think the values they teach are important in the early formative years to set them on a good path long term. But by high school I will let them choose if they want to stick with catholic or go mainstream - I did both and achieved much better at a state school. I also take them to church when I can, and Maya loves Sunday School.

My advice Deborah would be to start small, maybe the Alpha course, or maybe just brainstorming about what things are important to you and then looking at how you can pass that on to the boys. SDA might be a bit of a radical place to start with organised religion if you've never done that sort of thing before but who knows, it could turn out to be perfect. Religion really is such a personal thing.

Wow, you can all wake up now - my novel is over

Willie is Ratana but I think the church would burn down in shock if he ever actually went, so we had no issues with the christening thing

I have a lady at work who is SDA and I know she is very church going (Sat) and I know they are not allowed to eat pork/ham etc. No alcohol as well.

As you know I was born a Muslim but am not into it much. I dont eat pork tho and do follow some rules but not all, as I feel they dont make sense. My hubby is a Hindu and he is really into it, as his mum is very very into it. Zaara is mostly exposed to his religion because he follows it and I dont. I will teach her about Islam when she is older and Hubby and I both decided that we will let her choose when she is older.

My Mum was a Roman Catholic in Ukraine but never really went to church, and converted (so to speak) to Islam after she went to Bangladesh with Dad (under the pressure of my G/Parents) but both my parents dont follow Islam rules (My dad even eats pork....??)

Ok after all that what I am trying to say is...religion is good backbone for us..so that we can learn values and humanity, but if you feel that your children are already getting these teachings at home then church/mosque/temple is not vital.


He he ha ha Totally went off topic there.....

My FIL was born into a Dutch Roman Catholic family of about 16 children. While he doesn't practise the religion at the moment he feels that Andrew and all his grandchildren should have a religious schooling. I disagree with him there and have faught many battles with him over it. I would be fine if he went to church but he doesn't so i'm not going to be taking that route (one of my many battles with my FIL, i'm winning them all at the moment - just a little bit stronger than him, Thanks dad). I was baptised Anglican and made the choice myself. While I was at the church was the time the Alpha courses started I was a bit too young at the time to do one but they looked really interesting for an "outsider" to learn. We are also going to let Andrew and the rest of the children make their own choice with the church as I was given the choice myself.

We used to live across the road from a SDA church and from what I can remember from a guy that did his degree with DH the whole day Saturday you can't do anything with other people, it is a bit vauge what I can remember, as he finished his degree 3 years ago now. It meant no Saturday morning sport - can get hard on some children. I know Ray (DH's friend) found this really hard in his teenage years at school.

Just remembered. When Zaara was born there were certain prayers that needed to be done by the Mum but I would not do them, as I am not a Hindu. So Zaara never had them done. So you can say Clare that he had to change certain things around me.

Yes Atish wishes that those got done but he knew that I would not do them so no point of being upset about it!!

Hubby says he is fine with it and I am happy as always...so the things are working now!!! We have more fights and arguments about issues than religion.