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Myamy 
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Joined: 12 January 2007
Location: New Zealand
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 Topic: Support Needed
Posted: 26 March 2007 at 10:03pm |
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I have friends who found out they were expecting last week.They went for a scan to determine a due date but all the scanner lady would say was that she was early on, but we already new that has she has only missed 1 period. She has had the worst morning sickness for a week now and was rung by her midwife today to say that they cant determine a due date yet as they arnt sure if shes earlier then they thought (original thought was 8weeks) and now they are either 5-6 weeks pregnant, or the baby isnt forming properly. And the only thing they can do is wait a couple of weeks before they can have another scan. My question is What support would u expect at a time like this?? I ring her and let her talk through it all and i try distract her when i think thats needed too.But thats hard has last week we were planning her wedding and now thats on hold as it was bein planned for 11 months time. I just dont want her to become to depressed over everything thats happening.
Edited by Myamy
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ooEvaoo
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Posted: 27 March 2007 at 12:35am |
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Just you being there for her is the greatest support you could give your friend. Having someone to talk to and just to have someone listen (and not thinking that they know it all) that is what your friend will be needing and appreciating from you at this moment. It is only early days and so any scans that would have been done at this stage can be a bit vague looking. Within a couple of weeks the radiographer will be able to get a clearer picture of bubs, and a better understanding of how far along your friend actually is. I use to get really bad morning sickness, but I was reassured that this meant everything was going right!. I'm sure she has nothing to worry about. Just continue to be there for her and support her. Your friendship and understanding is the best support she could ever need
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my2angels
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Posted: 27 March 2007 at 6:50am |
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Dont let her think the worst, still point out that all is not lost and baby could be fine. This is what happened with me, I had to wait a week to see if the twins had developed at all but they hadnt. That week I just thought the worst. I wouldnt suggest saying oh everything will be fine etc... just remind her that there is a good chance her dates are wrong, be positive, tell her no matter which way it goes you will be there for her and she will get through it. In all honesty there isnt much you can do, the wait is horrible!
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Bizzy
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Posted: 27 March 2007 at 8:26am |
being there is all you can do - unfortunately the medical profession dont always get it right so can lead to lots of worry. i remember when i was pregnant with gabriel and after my first blood test they told me i was only just pregnant (as in couple of weeks) and i thought it meant bad news cause i knew i hadnt had sex for at least 6 weeks. 
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Bizzy
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Posted: 27 March 2007 at 8:27am |
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oh and i would have thought that they would be getting their hormone levels done - that would be a better indication so early on.
Edited by gandt
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Two Blondinis
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Posted: 27 March 2007 at 9:38am |
I think you're offering her the best support you can, just being there for her to get it all off her chest.
Don't let her think the worst though. When I had my 20 weeks scan the lady doing it kept saying "ohhh tiny baby " and wouldn't tell me what she meant (or couldn't as her english wasn't that great).
MW couldn't see any issues from the scan and what do ya know.... I had a 9lb 7oz baby!  not so tiny afterall!
I thought they could check the HCG levels (I think that's right?!?!) to make sure everything was ok?
As for the wedding, suggest that they just postpone it and still carry on with the planning. Wedding's take heaps of planning so that might take her mind off things?
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SMoody
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Posted: 27 March 2007 at 9:50am |
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Just be there for her when she wants to talk. Just so btw dates can be wrong because she ovulated late or something. There is so many factors. In 2 weeks they will be able to see if bubs grew and then adjust the dates.
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EllenMumof2
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Posted: 27 March 2007 at 10:39am |
HI
Just be there for her that will be the greatest support. I kinda no whats shes going throw but least i only had to wait 1 day for a scan but in my case HCG levels didn't show that i had a healthy baby in there a scan did.
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Posted: 27 March 2007 at 11:27am |
Just being there for her is the best support you can offer.
Also still working on the wedding will be a big distratction for her when it is needed.
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Jay_R
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Posted: 28 March 2007 at 11:20am |
She should be going in every second day to get her HCG levels tested - what on earth is her MW doing, just waiting to see what happens??? Thats ridiculous.
I agree with Amy - keep her occupied with wedding planning, and if she chooses to talk about the other stuff then thats great. Just being there is enough 
You are a good friend 
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Maya
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Posted: 28 March 2007 at 12:58pm |
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I agree with everyone else - just being there is the best thing you can do for her. Although I wouldn't push her to talk about if she doesn't want to - after my m/c I actually DIDN'T want to talk about it strangely enough, I just wanted to talk about other things to keep me occupied.
I will have my fingers crossed that next weeks scan brings good news.
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 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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nuttymama
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Posted: 28 March 2007 at 1:06pm |
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I agree with the others. When we lost our wee babe we had the same wait, we had two scans each a week apart and it was the hardest time of my life. It's really easy to be negative about it. You kind of see it as "ok if we prepare for the worst we can only be pleasantly surprised".
Just be there for her and be her sounding board, as no doubt she is going to have a lot of highs and lows and it's really just a case of having someone to voice them to.
I hope things turn out ok for her and they are simply just mistaken.
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Abigail 06/01/2005
Jayden 21/11/2001
Micheal 03/04/1997
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Support Needed
