Patting to sleep - really??

so i've been suffering the 45mwake up curse for 7 weeks and its getting worse as it is virtually every sleep now. bought a swing hoping that migth break it but so far not really..anyway, was convinced it was because of pain and maybe to start with it was but now i think just habitual. have tried this 'patting back to sleep' twice and wonder if Oliver's reaction is normal so wonder if anyone has used successfully.

turn him on his side, pat him and two times i have done it he has screamed pretty much hard out for 20m which i set as my target time to pick up. even when i pick up he keep screaming unless i leave the room and he can look out window. he slept in bed next to me just now so i know he woke up quite calmly but he flip out if i leave or do this magic patting! is this normal patting behaviour as don't know whether to persevere or not if just putting him through crying for no reason.

any thoughts, thanks.

We did try that and it seemed to work for a bit, but was exhausting. When we went to the Mothercraft unit at Waikato Hospital a month ago, they got us to put Isla to bed in a safety sleep on her side, then leave her to cry for 10 mins, then go put dummy in. Within a week she was settling herself to sleep well before the 10mins was up. This meant that she was learning to settle herself, so now when she wakes in the night she doesnt usually need me to go put the dummy in, and can o back to sleep herself.
She was 4 months old tho, dunno how old your baby is, or if u meant to do it for much younger babies.

I'd say it depends on how old your bubs is.... Plunket line put me onto "controlled crying". Basically, you let them cry for 1 min, then go in and reassure (pat, rock etc but try not to pick up), then leave for 2 min, then 3 min etc... up to 10 mins. I found this really hard to follow through with (I used a stop watch to make sure I didn't go in too early). I don't know how many days/weeks I did this for (was too tired to remember) but I now have a 5 month baby that talks herself to sleep. She does however still wake after 45 mins in the morning and afternoon naps, but doesn't cry so I leave her (or give her dummy then).

Hope this helps (and makes sense???) I think I've rambled.......

ETA: Looking back on it, I sort of wish I had of tried a dummy (I was ADAMENT (spl?) that my bubs would not have a dummy!) - I have since discovered that at times it is all that will work. It prob would have saved a lot of time me being upset for hearing her crying so much

Edited by rubydooby

Hi everyone, thanks for the suggestions. I am still struggling with teh controlled crying thing, is the theory that when you go and 'reassure' you leave after they are settled again? Oliver is fantastic at settling to sleep when i put him down but just doesn't re-settle and the only thing that stops him crying (apart from get him up and feed him!) is the dummy. So, sorry to labour question but the leaving them to cry 10m, or doing the controlled crying, or the patting, or on side all are aiming for them to stop crying at some point? if he doesn't stop screaming i.e. not being 'reassured' then its prob not a system for him? Anna, it sounds like it worked for initial settling but didn't help to re-settle? think i prob need to resign myself to the short sleeping thing with lots of dummy visits....sigh! I gave Louise a call and she was very helpful and suggested the swing which did work the first two times then back to normal. thanks again, Sally

Hi Briona had reflux for 3 months so we rocked her to sleep basically every sleep. She would cry or scream to sleep every night and it wasn't diagnosed until too late. After 3mos she had no more reflux but had got into the habit of falling asleep on our shoulders so I did the patting technique because it was the only thing that seemed to work, exhausting as it was. I would rock her to a drowsy state then put her to bed (wrapped and with a dummy), patting or stroking until she went to sleep. As it worked I gradually left the room earlier and earlier until she was actually putting herself to sleep. It was all sorted, and her out of wrap, before 6 months, and we've had no problems with her sleeping since.

Krystiana is 10 weeks and if she seems tired and not hungry I put her to bed, but if she cries for 5 minutes or more straight, or cries on and off, gradually getting louder not quieter, then I know I've made a mistake and I'll go get her and feed her again etc. Most times she will either self-settle or will cry a little and gradually get quieter until she's asleep. In saying all that, she's younger than Oliver so it may not work for him especially as he seems to already have a habit.