contradictory feelings and stuff!

Now, i have admitted in the past that being a sahm is just not for me and I ofetn struggle with it - but here is a whole new mixed bag of stuff. Am currently looking at booking Jake into kindy and it's really upsetting! Never knew I;d be upset about having the mornings to myslef again (well, if we don;'t count Taine - poor neglected second child). Hubby's mum rang up this afternnon - she wants to take Jake overnight tomorrow. I'm really torn bout it! She lives like 2 mins down the road so no big deal there, BUT I;ve only been away from him overnight twice! Once I was delivering Taine, and the other time I was in hospital with Taine when he had the asthma over New YEar. The thought of him not being around makes me feel a little ill! then the thought of going back to work next year totally freaks me too! Gosh, I;ve spent a year complaining about being at home all the time, and now I have a feeling I'm going to be gutted to go back to work! being a mum is weird!

I'm like that too, love a break but in reality can't stop thinking about them. And apart from hospital visits (births and broken foot) I've never been away from Briona. I'm finally ready for Hannah to stay at people's places during the day but only if I know them really well, and not overnight yet.

Well, Hannah is away for a week at the moment and I must admit, despite my continual b*tching about her, I cried my little eyes out on the second day because I missed her so much.

I have been talking to her on the phone heaps though and it helps to hear her so happy.

It's one of those things that you have to get used to eventually... but then you get to choose when that time comes.

I think most mums feel that way

I feel guilty when I get bored being with her sometimes, but then if I have a break from her I feel guilty too!

I think it will be hard no matter what age they are to let them go.. although as toddlers they are still so unpredictable that it seems like in a few years it might be easier.. when you don't have to worry so much about them running out gates etc. Ella has stayed at my mums house twice. She was fine both times but I kept texting my mum the whole time to make sure she was okay!