Time Out Question

Ok so kid does something naughty, gets a warning, does it again (of course!), and is put in time out. Pretty simple.

But what if the problem is because the kid won't do what she has been told to do? What do you do about "get your pj's on for bedtime" (and the kid mucks around doing nothing) or "get your shoes on so we can go out"?

Please help! I'm still new to all of this stuff!

We do the same as Lizzle.
Give her the option of doing as we ask or going to the corner. If she still won't do it after her 3 minutes time out then its back to the corner.
I always try to allow 10 extra minutes before bed or going out somewhere (anything that has a time frame!) just in case we need to deal with tantrums or time outs.

We used to give a small smack to let the girls know we meant business - but are trying a different method to see how it works for our family. I think it will actually work better provided I know how to do it. Trouble is, all our RL friends smack, we were both brought up that way too. And my RL friends have younger kids too.

I think I need to allow the transition more time than I thought it was going to take though. The change seems to have thrown both girls somewhat and it's like they are checking what if, what for, and all the other questions. Like you put in my other thread GandT (about checking boundaries).

Before dinner I had a problem with Hannah and she went to our little bathroom corner - but decided she was not going to stay there. 50 minutes later she finally sat and then apologised when I asked. Maybe we are going to come around after all!

I know my friend used say to her daughter 'I will count to three.....' see what happens. She never ever got to 3 and i'm not sure she had any idea what she would do if she did.

Oh and as a wee footnote, the advice given earlier about making the task fun is fab advice.

So for the 'can you put your pjs on please?' question you could try 'how about we go and put your pjs on and see how fast we can do it? Because you see, if you are super fast then you will have time for an extra book to be read at bedtime etc (or whatever you do at bedtime)

Turning boring or unwanted tasks into games is really helpful when it comes to getting compliance most of the time. But be warned if they are tired/overtired, you can pull the moon from their juice cup and they wont find it fun. Tiredness is the compliance enemy!

I wish you the very best of luck with your positive parenting, I know it can be hard, and she will test you, but she is a wee cutie, so she more than makes up for it!

Well done Teresa, sounds like it is starting to work out. I have found Hannah's behaviour so much better since I have started playing with her properly for a while in the morning too. They obviously need that stimulation.

When it comes time to go out, and you need to move at a decent pace, you can try this to cut down on the time it will take to get ready.

So, as for gettting dressed (ie. how not to have a fight over wearing the superman cape to church etc...) If you give a choice of two different outfits that you have already preapproved of, then it can only be a happy choice. Its either 'this' or 'this'. And that works really well with a lot of things.

Well done on keeping up with it, I know it cant be easy, especially when they are two different ages.

Keep it up, and Im sure all will be well.

Bf - Hannah already chooses her clothes for the morning and that's not a problem, she's just not motivated to get changed. Yesterday after her bath she went around naked for about 20 minutes - weirdo LOL! I told her that it was private and that Uncle Shane (boarder, my brother) would be coming home soon, so I moved her clothes to the bathroom and told her she couldn't come out of the bathroom until she was dressed. She chatted to Briona for ages but when dinner was served she was dressed in about 2 minutes

kez it's funny you mention the doll because when Hannah's in timeout and she sees her doll somewhere out of reach, she is a bit more motivated to do things right and get out of there.


We're doing a lot better, I think we must have hit a turning point where both of us were asking whether I'd follow through to the end. We'll see how the weekend goes, everything's always a bit different with Daddy at home etc. I've also been trying really hard to make more time when I'm doing something, so I can involve the children. Last night Briona helped pour things into, and mix, our dinner (in a frypan on the stove). Today I'm thinking of making scones for lunch with Hannah. These little things seem to help things tick over better too - I bet it's the positive attention vs negative attention thing.

My in-laws come over for a visit last night and asked how things were going. Hmmm I'm not ready to debate the pros and cons of their way (and my parents' way and our "old" way) vs our "new way". I'll just stall on that one LOL.

Me again. god I must seem like some weirdo lurker...

Anyway, just wanted to say that it sounds like you are doing really well, and do keep up the good work. Its great to see you are thinking in the 'new way' with your daily routine, and you will find the day passes much faster. Kids love nothing more than having your attention, and its a huge plus when it is positive attention. The activities you have been doing with the girls sound great.

Dont worry about the rudey nudey after the bath, not one kid I ever nannied for ever wanted to put their clothes back on. But boy oh boy did some of them pack a right tanty about ever taking them off for a bath. One wee boy protested so much I just said "fine, then you can just hop in the bath with them on and see how you like it" in he was plopped, and was promptly aware that it wasnt THAT bad taking them off!

Well done and keep up the good work. Happy Mum, happy kids. Looks and sounds like you are doing fab on all fronts.