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bridgetbird 
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Location: New Zealand
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 Topic: help from mother in law
Posted: 28 September 2005 at 3:17pm |
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when my first child was born, my MIL came to stay for 7 weeks - an didnt' lift a finger to help. ( later had said she thought i was very competant so didn't think I needed help - well you had to be with the worlds laziest person staying with you) Now with my second on the way and she knowing there is no chance of her coming to stay (after her last efforts and a house too small) she has offered, to help in anyway " with the house cleaning etc". I do think she wants to help in some way - and I think I have an idea. Do you think its too rude to sugest that if she wants to help she can pay for a housecleaner for a few weeks?
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preggy_sunflower
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Posted: 28 September 2005 at 3:46pm |
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No, I don't at all think that is rude. What I think is rude is that she came and stayed for 7 WHOLE DARN WEEKS and didn't lift a finger to help a first time mum. You should definitely say if she'd really like to help, then pay for a house cleaner.
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Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006
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AlyAyde
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Posted: 28 September 2005 at 3:57pm |
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If she wont pay for a cleaner (I dont know if money is an issue). Maybe she could make you some frozen dinners.
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Jayde 25/12/04
Alyssa 08/04/03
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bridgetbird
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Posted: 28 September 2005 at 4:14pm |
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ahh no, doesn't cook (too lazy!) and lives in another island. But nice idea all the same.
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 28 September 2005 at 6:19pm |
I'd give it a shot with paying for a house cleaner! Good luck 
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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lizzle
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Posted: 28 September 2005 at 10:22pm |
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good luck!! I'm lucky as my MIL is amazing! She would take jake when he was a wee one away and bring him back for feeds. I got some much needed rest and it was great! How old is your first now?
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newmum
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Posted: 29 September 2005 at 8:08am |
Worth a try! 
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Roksana
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Posted: 29 September 2005 at 8:49am |
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Hmmm....MIL Problems....
I cant compare as my MIL cant sit still and is always doing some thing....but I think you should tell her that you rather get a house keeper and if she could kindly pay for it....nothing to loose!!
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Maya
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Posted: 29 September 2005 at 9:13pm |
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Sounds like a good idea to me. (Luckily) I don't have a MIL, she died before Willie and I met, so I escaped the whole MIL thing. He does have some pretty awful, interfering cousins tho...
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 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
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faewie
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Posted: 30 September 2005 at 8:02am |
lol, those interfering cousins! the ones in question are my own... theyve got plans for bebe already...hmmmm
goodluck with you MIL birdie girl,,, I hvent even MET mine and my fiance and I have been together for nearly 3 years! 
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kas
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Posted: 30 September 2005 at 9:01pm |
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7 weeks with your MIL man i would go insane if my MIL stayed with us for that long.
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Roksana
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Posted: 03 October 2005 at 9:33am |
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I lived with mine for 3 and 1/2 years .....need I say more?
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 04 October 2005 at 11:11am |
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Speaking of that Roksana, how are things with you and hubby and MIL now that you've shifted? And are you going to have a computer at home once you've finished work? I was thinking about you on the weekend and how we are going to find out how things are going when bubs arrives!
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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Roksana
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Posted: 04 October 2005 at 11:36am |
yah I am getting a laptop from work, as I will be doing a few hours a week to help out....and hubby just bought a comp so will let you know as soon as we are back home from Hospital or will get hubby to log on.....
We are good, the relationship between hubby and his mum has become much better and it is as if we were always living seperate.....MIL and I never had any problems before and it remains the same. She has accepted the fact that this is what is happeneing and seems happy enough with it. We visit and have dinner once every other week and they come over to have dinner at our place. She said however that she wont come to my place now for dinner, as she does not want me to over work in my last few weeks.....
Hubby and I are just great...he has been a sweetheart!!!
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newmum
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Posted: 04 October 2005 at 12:50pm |
I knew it would be better when you moved out, yay!!!
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Roksana
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Posted: 04 October 2005 at 1:01pm |
In all honesty...I thought I was going to leave Atish......tho I love him too much  .
If things did not get better I dont know what would have happened?....but I am glad every thing worked out for us!
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 04 October 2005 at 4:15pm |
I am so glad everything has worked out for you Have you got everything for your house and are you all settled in? Am very glad you'll have a comp at home when you finish. Are you getting 13 weeks paid parental leave? If so, does working a few hours change what you get? Am just curious.
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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Roksana
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Posted: 04 October 2005 at 4:28pm |
No I wont get paid for those few hours....I am just helping out. I told them if some weeks I cant work....I wont.
Yah well still trying to sort things out for the house, we recently spend soooo much. We bought outdoor furniture, BBQ, Spare bed, a display cabinet, garden shed, garage storage cabinet.....and the list goes on...and even then you are like, damn we dont have this....However we are settled in.
I think I have what the call "nesting period" and cleaning like a mad woman and want every thing to be perfect. Must admit that hubby has been very patient with my  .
How abt you Aimee, cause you also moved in not so long ago?
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 04 October 2005 at 4:37pm |
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Yeah we moved a couple of weeks before you. Totally feels like home now. I too have been totally obsessed with the cleaning lately and desperately want everything to be "ready", tho there isnt anything left to do now except wait now the babys room is ready. Need to stock up the cupboards and freezer a bit too.
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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Roksana
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Posted: 04 October 2005 at 4:39pm |
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Oh good I am not the only clean freak then....LOL!
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help from mother in law
