Grrr. So close to quitting work.

I've been in my job for just over a year, and pretty much from about the first week, the management have added responsibilities to my job as they feel like it, to the point where now, I am so exhausted and stressed and often don't even get time for a lunch break. PLUS I'm now having to manage the warehouse as well (everything that's not putting the orders together basically). There is a new branch in Auckland, and two new reps in branch, all of whom I have to provide support to, and my in branch manager was deposed as my manager became someone in Chch, so I was also given the manager's admin work as well.

I could go on all day, but, basically, I've had enough. I changed jobs to cut back on stress, and took a notable pay decrease to go with the 'junior' position, and yet now I'm finding I'm just as badly off as with my last job. I only every intended to be at this new job 6 months or so, as I was going to get pregnant so now that time is stretching out forever, I just don't want to keep going with it.

The nail in the coffin was yesterday, I emailed my manager to say that I wanted a face to face re the sitution, and he has today emailed me a list of my responsibilities in the job - 4 pages worth! And it bears no resemblence to the job description in my employment contract (and has added in the manager's old stuff).

BUT, will I be jumping from frying pan to fire? I really want to do something different (part time would be FAB!) but of course, I'll need something where IVF wont' be an issue etc. I feel so stuck.

Ah well, have started trawling the employment pages.

Thanks for listening.

I think it's about as illegal as illegal gets, and they will be told that it's not legal to do that. Let alone that there has been no consultation. A pay review should definitely be on the cards.

But, what it comes down to is that they have a valuable admin person in me and they are showing me that they don't value or respect me, and I think that that is completely crap.

When we had all the warehouse problems recently, it was me out there in my jeans and things ensuring that stock was dispatched to customers and putting orders together and THEN getting all the admin done as well. How many office girls are willing to do that for a kick in the pants?

Ah well, I'm going to answer their email and see where they are willing to take it, but I won't be beaten down, that's for sure. I just think perhaps that overall, my time has come up with this lot.

It's finding the right thing to jump ship to

You know, frying pan/fire? Very uncool. I know that I'll be able to do my IVF pretty stuff easily here ... but it's ages off and I don't know if I want to hang around - but I really have to consider my being able to do IVF with a new job.

Anyone need someone fab to do a wonderful job of anything for them?

aw ginger, that sounds seriously sucky for you! and the stress about worrying whether to stay in a crummy job so you can do your ivf is hard to live under as well.

in your situation i would definately be talking to your union rep, and letting your bosses know you are feeling mentally stressed from the changes in your position that you have not agreed to. you have to start taking your lunch and coffee breaks, they are yours by right!

if you do decide to go for another job, then negotiate with them that you will be starting IVF treatment in the near future, and will need time off for what it involves. because you are such a at your job, you will still have people knocking down your door to hire you!

now go get yourself some chocolate, right now young lady! chocolate makes everything better......

Mmmm chocolate

That's exactly what I'm going to do with the job description GandT - I've photocopied both so I can make notes and do comparisons and then go back to them. It was hard not to just email back and go RAAAAA!!    But I was so well behaved.

What really angered me a few weeks ago was we were negotiating with a new storeman, but he wanted a certain dollar figure, which was the same as what I'm on. I said to the senior guy here that I'd expect a raise immediately if they gave a storeman the salary he was asking for. Anyway, I overheard the marketing manager say to him that "we're talking about someone wiht 16 or 17 years experience vs just an office girl" and I can tell you, I saw several shades of red.

I've never been treated like such crap in my life.

Yay for Al though - he has said he will support me in whatever I want or choose to do, so long as I'm happy.

(Interestingly, it appears my old job is open whenever I want it regardless of the office situation there ... maybe I could negotiate something there. On the right terms!)

It was MILF, you're right, although it didn't get me down quite like this one is. I think my biggest problem with my last job was burn out. But, I do miss it, and yes, I'd want to set very firm goal posts as well. Either way, I've got time to think about it - my old boss is going on holiday tomorrow for 3 weeks, so I can make some lists do some thinking, and I have some days off here as well, so I can really think hard about what I want.

Awww, ginger, I can so understand where you are coming from. I am a firm believer that when you close one door, another window opens, and it sounds like the stress and drama of this job are really getting to you (and so they should!). I guess it comes down to two things: 1) How badly do you need the money versus the stress, and 2) How long can you reasonably put up with it? I think you are handling it the right way (being factual rather than emotional in your face-to-face meeting, taking notes, making comparisons so they can SEE what you are talking about). The meeting with your boss will be the deal-sealer, I suspect, where you will have to hold your own, not get upset no matter what is said, and stick up for yourself. For me, the easiest thing to do is to ask myself, "What do I want out of this job?" For one part-time contract I'm doing right now (and it's not OHbaby!, don't worry, they're fabulous!), what I want out of the job is extra money so that we can go to America next year. That is my goal, and whenever things start to suck, I remember the extra money and the date that I'm finishing (1 November!) and that gets me through. So what do you want out of this job? Is it a stepping stone? A boost to your CV? Extra money? Money to live on? A way to pay for IVF? A way to get paid maternity leave when you get pregnant? I think if you're clear to yourself on what you want, that meeting will be easier for you to go into and get a reasonable outcome from.

It sounds like your boss and coworkers don't value your contribution, and to me, this sounds like a sign you should scale back your responsibilities significantly, to just what's in your original contract. They can't fire you for refusing to do work that isn't in your job description. If they start placing demands on you, and asking why you aren't doing such-and-such or telling you to do whatever it is anyway, your comeback can be, "I'll happily do this after my job description and pay are renegitiated to reflect my significantly higher level of responsibility and extra tasks." You might need to repeat yourself over and over -- the old broken-record approach -- to get through. But I don't think you have anything to lose. It's hard for us women to take a stand for ourselves and get what we deserve.

And as for another job... What are you good at? Can you do something different from what you do now? Is it time to update your CV? Start looking in the wanted ads? There's a saying about how it's often easier to find a job when you already have one than it is to find one when you're unemployed... What about going part-time somewhere while you re-evaluate your options and priorities?

Just my two cents... But I think you need a break too!

They sound seriously rude, Ginger!  How much time away from work will you be needing for IVF?  I wonder if it's time to give them the big finger and plunge into part-time work, to accomodate the IVF (and without making it more stressful).  Living on one income isn't so bad... one and a half would be alright! 

B said he'd hire you but they have no space and it's in Albany.....boooooo....

Thanks everyone for all your suggestions and support - it's one of those real head-banging things! Whatever happens, I really want to make sure I make the right move since it may well be a long-termer. Good fun!