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Kazzle 
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Porirua
Points: 3830
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 Topic: sorry vent ahead
Posted: 17 August 2007 at 8:39am |
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im sorry but i need to have a really big vent
it is my girlfriends birthday today, and for it tomorrow myself, my partner and her partner hve put together a pamper package as a surprise for her as she has been so stressed....she knows something is going on but not what.
just got a txt from her saying i havent been feeling well for a couple of days, so i will let you know tomorrow if i am up to it.
i txted her back saying i needed to know this morning if she was cancelling as there is a 24hour cancellation policy and if i dont give 24 hours notice then i would still have to pay 1/2 the amount, and she said,.oh well it is my birthday after all....I am so mad now, she knows that its taken me about 2mths to save money for her birthday and this is her attitude i am so pissed at her.
She also knows that money is tight at the moment especially with bubby 2 no the way...and in space of 6 wks, i have her birthday, her hens night to organise and her bloody wedding...i am just feeling like i am being walked over, and i dont know how much is my imagination or preggy horomones
thanks for letting me vent
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MILF
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Antarctica/Invercargill ;)
Points: 1988
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 8:47am |
How rude!!! if she cant be bothered finding out what the surprise is for her birthday, you should use it instead  pr tell her that if she doesnt want it then you will use it, and could she look after rhiannon for you, as it is going to be so nice etc etc.... it might make her change her mind.
i dont think it is preggy hormones, THREE people have gone out of their way to organise this, and she is being pretty dismissive of it.
i hope she isnt like that as a bride!
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Lyla - mum to
Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and
Jordis - 1 year old 
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caraMel
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 9:03am |
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That would really annoy me too Kazzle, I don't think it is your hormones getting the better of you!
Seriously, I don't think it would be wrong for you to go ahead and enjoy whatever the surprise is yourself if she's not considerate enough to let you know well enough in advance that she's not coming. You don't need to be left out of pocket for nothing, especially now that you've told her about the deposit.
And besides, you sound like you could do with a treat too with all the stress you're carrying for her!
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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Bizzy
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 9:08am |
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as you said tho she has been stressed lately... stressed people dont always think clearly about others. talk to her partner perhaps seeing as you organised it with him.
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Bombshell
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 9:44am |
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id talk to her DF and ask if she is likely to cancel....and if hes not sure then maybe just spoil the suprise and tell her its her own fault and you need to know NOW whether she is going to attend or not!
She has been quite inconsiderate of you lately so I think take action now and also tell her what you have been feeling....
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Kazzle
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 10:31am |
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thanks guys....she has txted me and told me that she will be there tomorrow and that she knows that we have spent time organising this.
And she apologised saying that she knows she being a bit of a bitch lately with work, stress, wedding stuff etc etc, and that she was really pleased that she could feel comfortable dumping it on me...
I had to laugh at that one, cos i tell you she has come very close to me just walking away...just as well as i know what its like to be stressed, working hard and have a wedding to organise....
Since having bubs though i just dont seem to have the tolerance for things being dumped on me anymore and i think its becaue i have my own family to worry about now.
Roll on end of september, when it will all be over
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Andie
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 10:34am |
Yeah I'd be seriously annoyed about that too. I think telling her what the suprise is (to give her an idea of how important it is to decide now if she's going) is a great idea, including when the deadline is for cancelling. It'd completely suck to have to pay for half of it even if it's never used!
BTW... sounds like an amazing present. That's so lovely of you!
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Andie
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caliandjack
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 11:01am |
I think you are giving her a lovely gift, and if she won't use it use it yourself.
Interestlingly we get brides venting at their supporters on NZWP.  
IMHO some brides expect too much, my Chief Bridesmaid has a 6 month old daughter and I don't expect her to run around after me.
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  [/url] Angel June 2012
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busymum
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 12:42pm |
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I'm glad it's now working out Kazzle. Don't feel bad about needing to put your family first, that's the way it should be even if she (who presumably doesn't have kids yet) doesn't understand that yet. It sounds like you might be a bit overworked with the wedding preparations, if so you might need to draw the line somewhere and let her know. That way you'll both feel better. Even though she has been under a lot of stress lately, there's only so much of you to go around and if she really needs that kind of help for her wedding she might need to get another friend(s) involved with the planning!
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Kazzle
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 2:53pm |
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thats the point, her wedding is at the registry office and is only having about 20 ppl to dinner at a resturant then they are off to the pub afterwards...so there is no reason to be stress, and everything else is sorted out...with the wedding.
She is taking a month off shortly so hopefully things will calm down.
Oh and she cant have kids, she has PCOS and with being very obese the doctors have said unless she loses the weight she wont be able to have kids (and with her hubby to be being in a wheelchair they will have to do ivf and they already know they dont qualify due to her weight), which is really sad
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sorry vent ahead
