Would you choose?

I saw on the news last night that the bioethics committee has said that when doing IVF parents should have the right to choose the sex. So that got me thinking ... would you choose? If so under what circumstances?

For me the only time I might even consider it was if it was my second child and I only had one more chance at IVF. Still not sure I would though. Maybe also if they were putting in two eggs (or more!) I might ask that they put in one of each and see what we got.

My FIL really wants granddaughters as he already has 2 grandsons so my DH this morning said that if his father was paying for it and was going to pay us lots of money to have a girl then he'd choose!!

ok, so i haven't been through IVF or anything but here's my 2c

..........you get what you're given! i think it's absolutely wonderful what science can do these days help people conceive that child they can't have themselves, but i totally draw the line at choosing a sex!

I haven't had IVF but I went to a seminar when we were looking into it.

I thought they said they choose the best looking embryos to put back in ie. ones that will have a good chance/how they have split/shape etc??

I would rather have the best possible chance of having a baby regardless of gender.   We tried for 2 years to get PG before it happened by itself but if we went through IVF and was asked if we wanted a boy or girl, I know this sounds silly but I would feel guilty choosing one over the other. You get what you are meant to have.

If people can now ask for what they want, does that mean the waiting lists will be longer because people will be paying to have that girl or boy they have always wanted ?

Well, I posted this question because I thought it would be interesting to see what the answers would be ... and it pretty much confirmed what I was thinking.

Basically alot of this is media hype ... what the bioethics committee actually said was that Fertility Clinics regulary do a number of screening tests on embryos - mostly for ginetic diseases etc, but one of the tests is gender - and that parents have the right to know the results of those tests and that they can find no ethical, social or cultural reasons why they shouldn't be able to choose which embryos are implanted based on those results. They also said that people should be prepared to pay for those tests if the clinic doesn't normally do them. But the reality is that anyone who has been through the rollercoaster ride of infertility is not going to care what gender their baby is. And even though I'm not at the point yet where I've been told I have to have IVF - I still don't care what gender I get - I just want a baby.

In saying that - I think the bioethics committee asked the wrong question. Because 99.9% of infertile couples would choose the healthiest embryo regardless of sex I think they should have been investigating whether or not it is ethical to allow fertile couples to have IVF so that they can choose gender. They interviewed one of the specialists from FA who said that basically they always choose the healthiest one and that IVF is too expensive and uncomfortable for fertile couples to choose to have it. BUT I think there are people out there who would do it. Maybe not so much in NZ but on other (predominately American) TTC sites I have come across people who are desperate to have a baby of a particular gender. They eat certain foods, they only BD at specific times, they even don't BD in some months because some Chinese gender prediction says they will have a boy that month and they want a girl.

I think everyone here just wants a baby. But I think that there are people out there who already have 3 boys or 2 girls or whatever who might choose IVF if they could afford it.

You probably all think I'm a bit weird, but philosophy - particularly ethics - was one of my favourite subjects at uni and these kinds of questions always fascinate me.

Edited by Emily281

Hi Emma
I know what you mean. I get sooo frustrated ... sometimes when people are going on about how they already have 2 boys and really really want a girl and will be really disappointed if its a boy I just feel like telling them to stop trying and give somebody else who desperately wants a baby a chance. It almost feels like they only want it so they have a little doll to play with.

Exactly. As I said in my first post if I already had a girl I *MIGHT* say to the doctor it would be nice to have a boy ... but I certainly wouldn't choose a boy over a girl embryo that had a better chance of survival. And if we end up with 4 girls then my FIL will be extremely please and my DH might just have to start having a few manly weekends with his mates to get away from all the women in the house!!

Hehe .... fortunately he has a nephew to play with. Although he is almost 10 now so by the time we have 4 kids he will be all grown up

Im not sure what i would do but id be gratefull for just having a baby i think its asking too much but i think if some1 asked what sex i want the egg and sperm to be i dunno if i could resist but i know i shouldnt but by no means would i request it as i said id just be gratefull for IVF.

Edited by SerennaM