Missed miscarriage

Hey girls

I had my 12 week scan yesterday and have had a missed miscarriage baby was just over 7 weeks pretty guttered but trying not to get upset about it, just feel now that I want to move on and try again, I think if Im scared if I get to upset im going to be upset for ages if that makes sense? ahhh it sucks!!!!

Anyway I am going to the hospital today to line up with all the other ladies! the midwife said they will explain the options of letting it happen naturally (even though it hasnt in the 5 weeks its been dead) or have a D&C..I was wondering who has had a D&C or who has chosen the various options and what can I expect?

Thanks

Hey Kye,

As you were reasonably far along, you might have the symptoms for a little while longer. You'll still feel a bit pregnant until your hormone levels return to normal. It's pretty cruel huh?

I was 'lucky' in the respect that after I found out, I started a natural miscarriage really soon. I had to have tests afterward to make sure it was complete. I didn't have to have a D&C but from what I hear these days they are pretty efficient at getting it all sorted and without too many side effects. I think if you haven't miscarried naturally in the last four weeks, that a D&C is probably the way to go, otherwise it could just drag on and I am sure that would be upsetting. I found it really hard to let go until I knew it was all over.

Try not to bottle things in. We all have different ways of coping, but if you feel like having a cry/rant/scream then you should just do it - it will help.

Big loves.

Edited by Laurie

Im so sorry to hear about your loss Kye.

I had a missed mc quite a few years ago and it was awful. I would go for the D&C because at least then you can prepare yourself & DH for it. Mine started to come away naturally and it was terribly painful...like labour. My DH took me to the emergency dept where they did their "invasive" tests...and I was given pain relief. When I actually went in for the D&C the following morning, the nurses and everyone was really lovely. They put me to sleep and the next thing I remember was waking up. I didn't any physical pain after that.

Hey there Kye, I had the same thing happen sorta, back in april, however i had my scan pretty much the day or day before the baby's heart possibly stopped beating so we saw a perfect bub with no little heartbeat.. sucked completely. I never started bleeding, or anything and was like you, still having heaps of preg symptoms. I chose to have a D&C as my body was showing no signs of catching on any time soon to the fact that baby wasn't ok. I thought it would mean things were over quicker, and was actually petrified of miscarrying naturally, even though i knew baby was gone that was the last thing i wanted to have to go through was actually all the bleeding etc.   The D&C wasn't too bad really, and it took a few days for emotional side of things to catch up to me but it's ok to be upset, and ok for it to all just flow and keep going etc when you cry.. as i've learnt if you bottle it up it comes back at you later when you wish you were over it already. After a few little probs with clots etc, I guess really physically i was ok again pretty quick.

sounds silly but good luck with your decision and big hugs, sometimes, while its horrible to know that some of us here have been through it, it makes you feel a tiny better just to now you're not alone, there's others who have been where you are, be in a decade ago, a year ago or a week ago.   Hugs

Thanks girls for all your thoughts and advice I went to North Shore hospital on Thursday arvo and the Doctor recommended I have the D&C since it had been 5 weeks and said if I didnt have it she would send me home with antibiotics, which I thought didnt sound to good, so decided to go with the D&C which I had yesterday and stayed down in Auckland the night and got back home this afternoon.

Im really glad that I had it as I felt pretty horrid yesterday after it, but the bleeding is really light and just have on and off again period type pain, so not as bad as I thought, I think waiting for it to naturally happen would have been horrible, and who knows when it would have happened.

I havent got to emotional yet, I am more angry really that Ive been lead down the garden path for 5 weeks thinking little bubs was still growing etc

The Dr said I may get really emotional when my hormone levels start dropping and for me I think when we start ttc again and my issues with having pcos thats when it will get me, when I realise Im "back to the drawing board" so to speak and also when your friends decide to have a family and fall straight away!!!!

we have friends that had a bub last week, we are supose to go and visit them next weekend, but I dont think I am ready for that!!!

Do you girls know how long it takes for things to return to normal after a D&C? so things happen quicker after a D&C rather than natural miscarrage with respect to fertility etc?

It is very hard when people all around you are suddenly falling preg or announcing or just everywhere seems to be full of big beautiful bellies. My little sis is due in a couple of weeks now, am still unsure how i will be around her and baby. after getting back a week after D&C, 2 ladies at my work have announced they are preg.. both about the same as i would have been which is hard cos i see them at the milestones i kinda think i should have been at. but mostly am ok with things. good lucka nd hope things go much quicker for you guys the 2nd time around once you are ready.

Hi Kye,
My thoughts are with you hun - sorry I am late with my condolenses

How exciting that you are heading to Fiji soon, will be lovely to catch some sun

Take care luv

spicey - hope you are feeling better after your D&C too!


thinking of you all!

em

Ha, I'm doing the same, since mike's samples have come back clear and it's obvious that well, that's it for me i thought darn it, ih ave had far too many months of sitting around on my bum feeling sorry for myself.. if i anit gonna be preggers again then i'm gonna get fitter, and get rid of all that mummy fat off my thighs and tummy. It wasn't there after paris, it was fairly ok after Ayja, but with breastfeeding her for so long, and eating enough to sustain us both.. i kept doing that once i stopped feeding ayja and am now at least 10 kilos heavier than before i had her. time for that to come off and get back to being me again. lol not saying i want to get rid of all reminders of being a mummy, I need to get back to being a yummy mummy. pmsl

Edited by mum2paris

TTC means trying to conceive.