What do you do to help you say goodbye?

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Pitter patter Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 03 March 2009 Points: 1043	Post Options Post Reply Quote Pitter patter Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: What do you do to help you say goodbye? Posted: 11 November 2012 at 12:11pm
	Hi guys, We lost our baby last week at 10 weeks (but was only 7 weeks on the scan). Didn't keep the remains but am thinking about planting a tree and painting rocks with DP and DD as a way of saying goodbye and also having a place to remember. Had been thinking about making a book but don't have much to put in it-only the first scan we had with a lovely heart beat but the baby looks tiny. I am not much of a jewellery wearer but a friend suggested getting something to wear. Did any of you guys do anything (or thinking of doing something) to help you say goodbye but also to remember?
	TTC number 2 since April 2011 MC Nov 12 Formally Mamma2one

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tan73 Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 10 August 2012 Points: 1302	Post Options Post Reply Quote tan73 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11 November 2012 at 6:27pm
	Sorry to hear of your loss. It's a hard, hard time but I found doing things to remember and acknowledge baby really helped the grieving process. Painting rocks sounds like a lovely way to help your DD take part in the process too. We got to take the remains home and bought a rose bush to bury the remains under. The people at the garden place were lovely and helped us choose a beautiful rose with a lovely name, which is now flowering. I did things over time as I needed to. I framed our scan pic in a lovely silver frame that sits by my bed, I chose a song that I felt had some significance, just so I could listen to it when I wanted (I haven't listened to it much lately), I made a tickertape on Lilypie that is very special to me and after a while, I told people publicly over Facebook - never thought I would but the timing was right for me. I also recently attended a SANDS memorial evening on the International Pregnancy and Baby Loss Day. Everyone does different things. Some people give their lost baby a name, but I never wanted nor needed to do that. And I am not a jewellery wearer either. I hope you find your own way to do things to acknowledge your baby - a little life, not a little loss. xx
	2 Angels - Aug '12 & Mar '13 Always in our hearts.

Pitter patter Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 03 March 2009 Points: 1043	Post Options Post Reply Quote Pitter patter Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 12 November 2012 at 8:09pm
	Hi Tan, sorry to hear about your loss and thanks for your reply. That is so lovely that the rose is flowering now. I really like the idea of framing your scan pic and keeping it by your bed-mine seems very precious but also personal so in the bedroom a good idea i think. I would love to name the baby but we had talked about names endlessly and hadn't agreed when it happened, also hard not knowing the sex. A nice idea though because to me what we lost was a little person that we had stared to make plans for. A friend gave me a crystal to hang in tthe window today, I was really touched as it was such a good idea-obviously she understood because shed had a mc herself. DP has decided he is going to make a seat in our fav spot in the garden, we will put a dedication on the back that we will know about. We are going to extend the garden around it and plant some nice flowers and probably collect shells from the beach over time for the garden, both DD and myself love collecting shells and the beach always makes me reflective. love that little life not a little love quote-awww Edited by mumma2 one - 12 November 2012 at 8:10pm
	TTC number 2 since April 2011 MC Nov 12 Formally Mamma2one

kalika Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 08 September 2012 Location: Canterbury Points: 425	Post Options Post Reply Quote kalika Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 12 November 2012 at 8:27pm
	Hi mumma2one sorry to hear about your loss I was only 7 weeks along when we lost our baby, so no scan and no remains to speak of. I treated myself to a ring with a single princess cut diamond. A bit extravagent but I really wanted something to commemorate the little life we lost and as we are renting planting something in honour wasn't an option for us. I also am quite keen to get a tattoo in memory but its something I just haven't had time to organise yet but may do one day. I already have one so I know what I am in for and already have something picked I think that sounds like a lovely idea about your seat, and also Tan's idea about a special song
	My Ovulation Chart Sept '12 <

Pitter patter Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 03 March 2009 Points: 1043	Post Options Post Reply Quote Pitter patter Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:13pm
	Hi Kalika, thanks for your reply. I don't think your ring is too extravagent it sounds like a lovely way to remember your little one. I already have a tattoo too but don't think I could get another as the last one hurt! I hope you get yours when you are ready-let us know
	TTC number 2 since April 2011 MC Nov 12 Formally Mamma2one

vineyardhoney Members Profile Find Members Posts Senior Member Joined: 31 December 2011 Points: 912	Post Options Post Reply Quote vineyardhoney Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:41pm
	mumma2 one I just wanted to say I am so sorry to hear of your loss - we fell pregnant around the same time from memory - you must be devastated. I really like your idea of the garden seat - that is just lovely.

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