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Jentor 
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Joined: 14 September 2010
Location: Hawkes Bay
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 Topic: Midwife role after a misscarriage
Posted: 17 September 2011 at 5:47pm |
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I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks this week, and haven't heard from my midwife, and am wondering if this is usual practise or not. I met her a few weeks ago, had a lovely appointment, really liked her. Then I had to ring her on Monday evening to tell her I was bleeding and ask what to do. Of course, I was in tears. She was very kind again and told me to go to the ED.
I miscarried the next morning, and ended up having to spend the night in hospital. I texted her (what she told me to do) to let her know, and of course the hospital sent her my notes and also rang her. But I haven't heard from her. So the last time I talked to her, I was in tears and about to miscarry at 12 weeks.
Is this the norm? Do most people talk to their midwives after a miscarriage, or is it completely over when the pregnancy ends? I really liked her, and would have gone with her again, but now I'm not sure.
Thanks!
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AandCsmum
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Joined: 13 May 2008
Location: Palmerston North
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Posted: 17 September 2011 at 7:04pm |
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Yeah that is weird? With mine she had to come around & do all the paperwork, mind you we hadn't had the first meeting so maybe that is why??
I would have thought though that she would have been more "caring" and rung to see how you were getting on?
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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MissGinger
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Joined: 27 December 2010
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Posted: 18 September 2011 at 4:12pm |
I would try and get in touch if you would like to see her. I was in a similar situation to you, in that I rang my MW when the bleeding began, she sent me to ED, I had to stay the night etc. She rang me after I was discharged, sent me for bloods the following week (to see how low my iron got) and then came round a week later to see how I was. She did give me the option though, if I didn't want a follow-up she said I didn't have to have one..
You never know, she may have been crazy busy... but you would expect her to ring and ask how you are. 
Edited by MissGinger
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Pook72
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Joined: 21 September 2009
Location: Auckland
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Posted: 18 September 2011 at 6:39pm |
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So sorry to hear about your loss and lack of treatment.
Quite frankly I think that is disgusting of her! I hope the hospital has given you some follow up care? If not, give your GP a call and make an appointment for a check up :)
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 June 99. June 09, Dec 09, Sept 10 March 12
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hopeful69
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Joined: 23 January 2011
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Posted: 19 September 2011 at 2:58pm |
Jentor, so sorry to hear about your loss.
Having been thru this twice in the past 6 months I have to say I got more support from my GP then the midwives. First time I had to keep ringing her and asking her questions.I got the feeling that a "midwife" only deals with live pregnancies which I thought was very wrong. This more recent time I had a different midwife who was better but my GP has been brilliant.
I have also come to realise that only people that have been thru a miscarriage can truely understand how you are feeling.
Hang in there. Sending you lots of hugs and good wishes 
 2003 Jan 2011 Aug 2011
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Luckymama23
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Location: North Shore
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Posted: 19 September 2011 at 8:53pm |
Oh Jentor, so sorry to hear about your loss 
With my first 2 m/cs I had midwives, and found (as hopeful69 said) they tend to only deal with 'normal' pregnancys.
I found my GP & the North Shore hospitals early pregnancy unit a lot more helpful (i.e follow up calls etc)
Hope you have lots of other support around you, it is such an upsetting thing to go through.
Also have you had a look at miscarriagesupport.org.nz ?
I found that website quite interesting.
Take care
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2 superstars
too many miscarriages 2009-2014
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pikelets
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Joined: 08 April 2007
Location: Auckland
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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 6:26pm |
Hi Jentor, I don't have much more to add to what the ladies have already said above but I just wanted to say Im so sorry to hear about your loss
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3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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monkeys
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Location: Hamilton
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Posted: 21 September 2011 at 1:17pm |
So sorry for your loss Jentor With my first m/c I had the same experience, I didn't hear from the midwife at all, when I fell PG the 2nd time I decided to switch and this was the main reason, when I met the new midwife I explained the situation and she had a student midwife in the appointment, and she reiterated to her student that it is so important to have the follow up even though it is a difficult call to make.
Unfortunatly that PG didn't go well either but my MW called me a couple of times after the MC to see how I was and to answer any questions that I had, safe to say I will use her again when I fall PG again.
Take care of yourself xxx
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3 little Angels July 10, May 11, Apr 13
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Jentor
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Posted: 21 September 2011 at 6:33pm |
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Thanks for all the well wishes. I am feeling better, each day seems to be easier. I found talking about it helped heaps, but then I am a talker!
My midwife ended up ringing Sunday (I had miscarried on Tuesday), and was very apologetic. She said she'd had a really busy week. I am glad she rang because I hope to go back to her next time, if she hadn't rung I would not have gone back.
What a fantastic support network, thanks!
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Midwife role after a misscarriage
