Finally coming to terms with mc

Hi all

I have been a lurker in this thread since miscarrying on New Years Eve. Since then I have really struggled with the loss, and even though I am pregnant again now, it hasn't actually lessened my grief for the baby I lost.

The due date for the baby I lost was September 1st, and as the date approached I felt very very sad. But my husband has been extremely ill with swine flu, and developed complications and was actually hospitalised yesterday, and my two year old is sick. So I was sitting in hospital thinking, man, this sucks, so sad cos of the baby (but still very very happy and grateful for the healthy bub I am carrying), worried sick about DH, worried about my poor sick son, who is being looked after by someone else when he is sick.   Then I thought, imagine if I hadn't miscarried, and I was having a baby now, I would have to labour and birth without DH, my son would have to stay with someone else for days (and he never stayed a single night apart from me), and then when I went home I would have to look after DH, DS plus a newborn. I just couldn't do that.

So I have finally made peace with what happened. For the first time I think maybe there was a reason, and this may sound a bit crazy, but I feel like maybe it is the same little soul that I am carrying again now, just coming at a time that is going to work for us.

I guess this post is just part of the healing process, and full acceptance of what has happened.

Glad you are coming to terms with things Hila, its a hard old road isn't it. I told my DH that one day when we have a baby I think I will understand why I had to experience these miscarriages. Everything happens for a reason, I just dont know why this had to happen yet.
I have been told by a spiritual type person (whatever you want to call them) that my wee soul keeps trying to come back. A wee boy apparently. I take all that stuff with a grain of salt but it does make my heart warm.
Take care, I hope you are enjoying your pg and everything goes well for you

When I was watching Zoe playing on the floor the other day I realised to myself that I lost my first little one so that I could be blessed with the daughter I have now and that gave me some peace

 

I also believe that the little one is up there looking after Zoe and hopefully guiding her in the right direction

 

I am a strong believer too that things happen for a reason.  Sometimes it just takes a while to figure that reason out.

 

Hope all is well with your family now and best wishes for the birth of your next wee one