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Forum LockedIs he scared??? or just being clingy???

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BaAsKa View Drop Down
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    Posted: 21 May 2009 at 8:14pm
As a follow on from my bedtime thread.....

Astin is currently screaming in his room, hes been screaming for half hour and hes screaming so hard he is loosing his voice and coughing!!

My mum thinks hes scared of somthing....dont know what??????

BUT he will sleep for a good few hours during the day with just a small preformance and then off to sleep....if he was scared wouldnt he be scared during the day too?????.....his light is on....

I hate hearing him scream like that we have tried sitting in there with him but that got us nowhere....

HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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gypsynita View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gypsynita Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2009 at 8:21pm
was he asleep first? or just started screaming when you put him down?

if he woke up screaming like that it could be a night terror - Cian used to look seriously scared sometimes when he woke. If it is "something" odd that's he's scared of, or even a bad dream, you could try putting a piece of smokey quartz or amethyst (or both!) near his bed... sounds crazy but it can be really effective
Anita
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BaAsKa View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BaAsKa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2009 at 8:26pm
he was screaming before he even got in his room (he knew it was bedtime) and when he wakes during the night he doesnt cry - i just roll over in my bed feeling like someone is looking at me so open my eyes to find him standing there staring at me!!!

I think il try the smokey quartz or amethyst anyway just to rule it out......we have had a few "weird" things happen in his room that makes me wonder.....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mamanee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2009 at 10:17pm
Sam does the same thing where he will come into my room in the middle of the night and I will wake to find him standing there staring at me.    

He also on the odd occasion does the same thing Astin does where he will scream and cry to the point where he is inconsolable and won't calm down.

I don't know what it is, but with Sam I think it's because he's fallen asleep and then woken up at the wrong time in his sleep cycle and it has upset him so much that he finds it hard to calm down.   Nothing I do helps him so I end up in bed with him in the dark singing to him and stroking his face.

Not sure what it means if they haven't been to sleep yet.

Poor wee Astin, hope he comes right soon and stops screaming for you.    Sometimes I think there isn't really a reason why they do it, something upsets them and they get so worked up it's hard to stop.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Babe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2009 at 2:17pm
Poor Amber! If hes doing it because he knows its bedtime I would say hes putting it on. He knows you'll give in if he screams long enough because you probably have before and they're smart little buggers! Jake does that but hes just trying to get his own way. I'd be really firm with him for atleast a week and see if it makes a difference. If hes still packing a paddy try something else but give him time to realise you mean business.
Thast my advice if you want to get him to sleep better. Jake has his bedtime routine, then into bed with the nightlight on and door shut. No negotiations! Its abit different in the middle of the night but we're getting on top of that - DP brought me home some more earplugs lol he'll be on nightduty coz hes firmer and Jake knows he can't get away with anything.
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kebakat View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kebakat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2009 at 2:25pm
MHO..

scared.. nah
clingy.. nah
trying to get his own way.. yes because he knows crying works and gets him what he wants.
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jaycee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jaycee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2009 at 3:23pm
yep - I'm with Babe and Stacey on this! He knows that if he yells and screams enough you will go to him and comfort him thus he *wins*. They are tricky little wotsits. If you have a few days of being strong and then one night of going in and doing it the old way then you will have undone all your hard work and be back at square one.

Maybe find an old episode of the Supernanny - she used to deal with heaps of children who would not sleep in their own beds. New episodes are not so good. Try YouTube.

If you want to fix this issue before baby arrives then you are going to have to be firm (and very strong as he WILL give you a real run for your money )


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BaAsKa View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BaAsKa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2009 at 4:53pm
Originally posted by kebakat kebakat wrote:

MHO..

scared.. nah
clingy.. nah
trying to get his own way.. yes because he knows crying works and gets him what he wants.


this is exactly what i wanted to hear because it makes me feel heaps better about letting him cry it out knowing that hes just being a little brat!
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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2009 at 4:56pm
he doesnt want to go to bed... but i dont think leaving him to scream is helpful... i personally like diane levy's popping in method.    somtimes i wonder if maybe it is a bit of the separation thing going on. it must be a bit weird to suddenly be sent away from the family to go to sleep and if he has got used to sleeping in your room too...

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Glow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2009 at 9:34pm
I dont think he is scared or clingy as such but just testing the boundaries by screaming/crying to get his own way, which in the past has worked for him.

Brae went through bedtime issues a wee while back & the popping in method worked great for us!

Diane levy's Popping in method.. At bedtime you tell him you are going to pop back in to check on him. Kiss him & leave the room. 1min later go back in & tell him how great he is."You are so good, I'll be back" And leave again, Increase interval by 1,2,3 etc mins each time until he is asleep. If he wakes in the night take him straight back without a word & sit in the door way if necesary (take a blanket with you)

Hope he sorts his night sleeps out soon for you Amber
Mummy of Two Boys
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