Stop the world, I want to get off.

Yeah the girls won't quite understand that yet...they're 6 months old

Re. the breakdown...quite possibly. I have tried to tell DH how things are going, and how I'm feeling (in fact I just said - I'm not happy at the moment and explained why). He does improve...for a day or two then it's back to normal. At the moment he is sick as well (he has tonsillitis and a cold as well) which really doesn't help.

sounds like a typical man to me - maybe we all need counselling!
get a couple of girls together and go out for an evening coffee and get some "me" time!

They're lovely when they're asleep Kate

Have you thought of having DH look after one at a time if both are too much for him.

DH use to be one of those change for a few days and then go back to how it was but I got fed up with that and had a major go at him over how pathetic it was that I had to be his mother as well as one to Daniel and ya know what, it hasn't gone back to how it was..

Thanks ladies...I feel a little better about it all now, and it's not just me. DH did cook dinner (mainly because I lost my temper at him ) with my help, so that's something.

I do really need to sit down with him and the budget and show him - AGAIN - that we don't have the money to spend like we did before. Maybe it will get through to him this time...

Kali1 wrote: Honey, I can come pick up some washing and do it for you, and if you want I can bake and bring something yum for you and watch the girls while you have a long shower! Am sure Lauren would just love having little babies to gaze at, shes in the 'bubba love' stage of toddlerhood.

What an angel you are!

Good just remember I am here! and you're welcome any time you need to get out of the house, sometimes thats all it takes to feel better! I went and visited my nana for an hour this morning and it has made a world of difference to my mood compared to this morning lol sometimes I think our men just need a good bitch slap, short of having a meltdown (which I do at least one every two months) they just don't seem to notice that things aren't so great. I hate that it takes that to get them to see, but at least it does seem to improve things for awhile!
Hope the girls are feeling better soon, and that you manage to avoid getting sick too. *hugs*

I just wanted to say Im thinking of you!

Id say just keep on reminding him time and time again! Broken record I know - but Murphys Law surely it will eventually sink in! Haha.

Your doing a fantastic job Kate - I really take my hat off to you!

Wow, you poor thing, but awww to your two sleeping darlings!

There are a few things we've put into practice so that things work for both of us. I'm not back at work yet though, so the balance may shift when I go back. I've found if we both know what to expect of each other (and have similar expectations) things run pretty smoothly. Surely he must realise that with 2 babies he needs to pull his weight? Does he have a mate with kids who you could get to help push him into line a bit? Sounds like the inlaws are enabling his laziness really.

These are our basic *rules*, to give you an idea of what we do. Obviously you have 2 babies and they are older so need different things, but these are ours:

I'm BF, so if DD is hungry, it's my job obviously, but while I'm stuck in a chair feeding, I can ask DH to do pretty much whatever needs doing if he's around. Sometimes it's "get me a drink please" other times its "hang out the nappies" etc. And I make sure sometimes it's nothing too . I imagine this will change once DD doesn't feed quite so much that I have little time to do anything else. When I'm not feeding, I do these things myself.

During the night, I am up for the first hour of each waking. If I haven't got DD back to bed within an hour, I can wake DH up to help settle her (he sleeps through her cries mostly). If I haven't been back in bed for at least an hour and she needs us again, I wake him up. He either resettles her or if that doesn't work, brings her to me for a feed in bed. Same if I've been up more than 4 times in the night already, I wake him up. I've found it helps me to have these *rules*, so that I know I will get some sleep eventually - as I haul myself out of bed for the 4th time, I know that next time it won't have to be me, you know? But it's also done in such a way that DH knows I'm asking him because I've already done plenty. It's maybe once a week at the moment that I need DH, although I got him up twice last night.

As for dinner, I do my best to have it cooked when DH gets home, but if it's not done by then, it's cos I've had a rough day and it becomes his job. He's probably cooking about 4-5 days a week atm
Even if he just reheats a frozen meal, or makes something really basic, it's one less thing for me to worry about. Could you get one of your mums to provide a collection of frozen meals for you occassionally?

As for the finances, he needs to suck it up. You shouldn't have to be exhausting yourself picking up extra work so he can spend money willynilly. You are a tough chick Kate, tell him you're in charge of the money until he sorts himself out

If he wants a model housewife, he needs to be the model husband, really!

And I really hope you don't get sick too