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Treen View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 June 2012 at 9:24am

Hello ladies,

Just thought I'd post in here and see if anyone knows of anything we haven't yet tried to get a toddler to sleep through the night.

DS is 26 months old, and never slept through a night in his life.  He suffers from gastric reflux, and is on 20mg losec and molitium. We have tried tart cherry juice, 2 visits from the baby whisperer (unfortunately that was all we could afford), an oil burner with sleep essential oils, we elevate his bed, have tried white noise and a device that "shushes", baths with lavender scented soaps, strict bedtime times and routines, natural parenting, controlled crying, crying it out, dairy free diet, gluten free diet... and probably a few other things that I have forgotten as nothing ever seems to work. 

Whenever I pick up a book and follow the advice, they always imply that baby will be sleeping through within 3 - 7 nights.  I follow a routine for 5 months at a time and I still don't see results.  Even when we let him cry it out he still wakes up around 4 times a night crying, screaming and refluxing.  If we are not there to settle him, he eventually collapses from exhaustion (usually after about an hour of crying) only to wake up again an hour later to repeat the process.

We recently gave phenergan a go which worked a treat. He only woke for a small 10 second grizzle about 3 times a night.  However his GP and the pharmacist won't give it to us anymore as according to them, it should only be given as an antihistamine and never for as long as we gave it to him (10 days).

None of the medical professionals we speak to seem to think it's a big deal that he doesn't sleep. I get comments all the time from them like "some babies just don't sleep" äll babies are hard" and "well, that's parenting".  But they don't realise how hard it is at home.  His eyes are constantly red and puffy, he is grumpy and violent, he is behind in his motor skills and speech, he won't go and play by himself, he falls over all the time, he won't eat, and is just plain miserable.

I run a small business from home and am often up till 12am working.  Then I have to get up every 2 hours to try and settle him.  After 2 years of this I am so sleep deprived I slur my words, twice I have fallen over by falling asleep standing up, and once I almost crashed the car because I was so tired.

We can't go out as babysitters can't handle him.  We can't take him to cafes or out because he just screams and cries (even when he was an infant). I've had to walk away from him so many times because I am so angry and I can't calmly settle him.

I love him more than anything but I don't enjoy motherhood. Not one bit.  And I carry a lot of guilt around for feeling that way.

Does anyone have a child like this who can help me?

 

 
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Kellz View Drop Down
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Location: Gisborne
Points: 7186 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kellz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 June 2012 at 10:39am
Gosh your poor thing. Sounds a lot like my DD- shes 5 1/2 now. She had reflux, dairy allergy other intollerences and eczema.

When did he last see a paed? If hes still refluxing in the night then I would say that trying to get to the bottom of that is gonna be the key. And the puffy eyes, being so tired and behind in his development is not normal. If hes not been seen very recently then I would push the GP for a referral asap.

We tried a million and one things with DD too, we spent a week at the mother craft unit in hamiltom when she was 4 months, we did CIO and CC a million times,...I took her to a naturopath at 21 months cos she had had mutliple infections in her eczema- we took all sugar out of her diet which was the first thing that had ever made a significant difference to the eczema,...and she slept through for the first time. But it wasnt consistant,. we got to the point where we could put her to bed every night and know that she would sleep through, when she was 4 3/4.

With #2 we decided to never do any CC or CIO. HE hasnt had medical problems,...slept 5 hr stretch at a few months old, and 1st STTN at about 12 months. He still doents sleep through regularly now tho- last night was a good night- he slept through til 5.30am, had a quick cuddle and went back to sleep for another hr.
We think this is great- our expectations have lowered a lot from when we had DD- I never napped when she slept in the day like everyone told me to do cos I thought all babies slept through from 6 weeks old so I could catch up on sleep then - honestly thats what I thought! With DS we expect him not to sleep through til hes 4 3/4, so it doesnt bother us.
But thats completly different from your boy- there is NO WAY I could have worked when I was that sleep deprived- I didnt return to work til she was 2 1/2. There were times when DH got written warnings from work and nearly lost his job due to sleep deprivation when she was little. And we were amazed at the change in DD too when she started sleeping better too ( at 21 months- wasnt STTN regularly but settled and not waking often). Its really not fair on them to not be sleeping well either.

So sorry your doing through this. Sleep deprivation really does suck for all of you. I think that no matter what you try nothing will improve much until whatever is waking him is sorted. Ive had reflux both times when I was preg and its hideous,...it must be awful living with that all the time.
I hope some of that helps
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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Points: 10974 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 June 2012 at 11:34am
i agree with Kellz, if he is waking in the night due to his reflux then you need to sort that out.

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SophieD View Drop Down
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Points: 719 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SophieD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 June 2012 at 1:14pm
Totally agree with the other ladies, I would be pushing the docters for help, as something is obviously not quite right with his reflux and as you say it is affecting everything else as well.

Don't take no for an answer!
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crafty1 View Drop Down
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Points: 1024 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote crafty1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 June 2012 at 9:01pm
Oh Treen, that is really tough hun.   
My first thought was to get a paediatrician review but i also know that that is not always the answer it should be. I second other people with trying a good naturopath. There are a few people in Auckland who are trained in both medical and naturopathic fields, someone on here will know who it is Auckland. There is one in Mt Eden and another in Grey Lynn i think. That reflux at 26 months has got to be the key - that is not right and must be is causing discomfort that is causing the wakings.

Good luck with it, sounds like you are doing an amazing job. I had a very unsettled second baby and i understand what you mean by not enjoying the motherhood thing, i felt the same way. I loved him but not having to care for him. Tiredness is a really tough one to cope with long term and you sound like a really devoted mum. I have my fingers crossed for you. Will ask around about good natural/medical practitioner.

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ScaredyKat View Drop Down
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Points: 63 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ScaredyKat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2012 at 9:05pm
I don't have any answers for you, but wanted to send you BIG HUGS!! Sleep deprevation is awful My DS still doesn't sleep through the night consistently and he is 2 1/2 years old. I have accepted it and actually cope okay with the wake ups most of the time. HOWEVER he usually doesn't take too much to settle (unless sick or something is up) AND he is a happy chappy during the day. Because your bubba is miserable and waking so often, I can only agree there is something going on medically that needs to be looked at. Not all paeds are helpful (I saw one with DS and was no help whatsoever) but perhaps if you can afford it, pay to go to a private one. They might put more effort in than the ones who work in the public system. I was recommended Peter Nobbs. Good luck!
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Aroha11 View Drop Down
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Points: 630 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aroha11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 June 2012 at 9:50am
Treen - OMG I feel for you!!! Is there any way you can get your doctor to refer you to a pediatrician for reflux??
You may have already done this but if it is the reason he is waking then getting it sorted might help. On a side note my father suffers from 'heartburn/reflux' and other than the medication he finds apple helps a long shot but might be worth a try if you are at your wits end....
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rachaels View Drop Down
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Points: 266 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rachaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 June 2012 at 10:57am
Hi Treen,

Just a thought, have you ever tried an osteopath for your son? My son was diagnosed with reflux when he was 10 weeks old but this was miraculously "cured" when we visited the osteopath - within 24 hours of the first visit he was a different child.

Osteopaths can help with heaps of complaints and reflux and sleeping problems are definitely some of them.

I highly recommend Royden at Kingsland Osteopaths - he will forever be hailed in our household as the hero who saved my sleep!
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Dophy View Drop Down
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Points: 146 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dophy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 June 2012 at 2:32pm
I agree with definitely seeing a paediatritian but also a naturopath might be a good idea some can do special tests to see anything in the environment they could be intolerant too.
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Treen View Drop Down
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Points: 832 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Treen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 July 2012 at 6:53pm

Thanks for all your suggestions and PMs.  We have taken him to see a naturopath, peadiatrian, chiropractor and oestiopath. The naturopath prescribed him probiotics which he still takes and chinese herbs which didn't make a lick of difference.  He took these for 2 months.  The chiropractor said he would be cured after 3 weeks. After 3 months, I called an end to it as travelling from Clevedon to Remuera with a screaming baby twice a week was starting to give me anxiety.  The chiro visits did nothing.  The oesto said the same thing - that it would take 3 weeks.  It was such a struggle to hold him still and I saw no results.  Far too expensive for us so I had to stop the sessions after about 2 months.  The pead, we saw most recently.  Cost us $300 for him to put DS on a gluten free diet and give him an additional drug.  There is no difference.  In fact, over the past few weeks he has been worse than he has ever been after getting croup.

He has had diaorreha for almost a year now, and now he is refusing to have his nappy changed.  We have to restrain him.  Same with bath time and bedtime.  Even dinnertime - he won't sit in his high chair and he won't eat anything but sausages, juice and biscuits.  If I put something like brocoli into the dish, as soon as he put a piece in his mouth, he refuses to eat anymore.  He often goes to bed without eating much which isn't helping with his sleep.

My mother called him a spolt little brat when he wouldn't go down for an afternoon nap which I haven't been able to do now for about 6 months.  We have brought his cot back into his room and we use it when he won't stay in bed however we have to stay in his room for up to an hour at a time and push his legs back into the cot when he tries to climb out.  

His daycare have arranged for the district nurse to come and see us and now I'm paranoid it's because they think it's something to do with our parenting skills but I just know that if he got a decent night's sleep, he would be a normal little boy during the day as that is what I saw when we had him on phenergan. 

 
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ScaredyKat View Drop Down
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Points: 63 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ScaredyKat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 July 2012 at 8:11pm
Oh my goodness Treen, how totally and utterly horrible for you    You have spent so much time and effort and money trying to figure out what the problem is, it just seems so unfair! I don't really have any other ideas for you (my boy has never been a great sleeper but is pretty happy during the day) but honestly, it is NOT your parenting and don't let anyone ever tell you differently. There IS something wrong, anyone who reads your story can see that, it is just a matter of finding out what. And finding someone who is willing to help you find it. I wish I could find that person for you. Big hugs
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