Settling Toddler to Sleep

I've been having huge issues settling DD1 at night for a long time. At the moment, I sit in her room with her until she goes to sleep. This was fine when I didn't need to feed a newborn too but its getting harder and harder to manage.

She has a solid routine - dinner at 6pm, bath and into pjs by 7pm, teeth done and drink of water by 730pm then one story in the lounge, two in her bed and theoretically its bedtime at 745-8pm. Everything is all good there but then she takes 1-1.5 hours to actually fall asleep.
She's not upset but just plays/mucks around and is a cheeky little toad (eg pulls my hair as I'm sitting on the bed) and its doing my head in. Not to mention, the last two nights I've had to sit in with DD2 who cluster feeds around then which makes it even longer cause she wants to look at baby and give her kisses.

DH has tried to take over her bedtime routine a few times but its a nightmare for us all - she screams, hits him, and generally being unco-operative until I end up taking over. Plus with DHs work, its not always possible for him to settle her to bed so I need a solution that works for me.

CIO/CC doesn't work as she ends up falling asleep behind her door and then waking as I open it to try to transfer her to her bed. This doesn't change - we did a month or so a while back where, although she was settling to sleep straight away, she was behind the door every night and every time I went in, she re-woke enough to have to start the process again.

Gradual withdrawal was kinda working for a while but I can never get further away than sitting on the end of the bed (and even then, it takes a looooooooooong time to settle her).

I even tried pinning blankets over her curtains thinking it was too light for her - no difference whatsoever!

If it wasn't for DD2, I would easily carry on as is but its getting too hard to deal with both babies at the same time, I'm getting short on patience and a bloody sore back in the process!!

So after that novel....any advice/recommendations on techniques to help her settle herself are welcome :)

ETA she has a day sleep/rest time for around 2 hours in the day and no issues settling there - into her room at 1130-1200, door shut and she will play until she wants to sleep. Cutting out her day sleeps made no difference to settling at night and made for a very grumpy wee girlie!

Edited by KerryLea

Mine is sort of like that, except we practically have to sit on her to get her to sleep.
Some things we've done that have been really helpful: Set a 20 minute time limit. If she's not showing definite sleepy signs in 20 minutes stop trying. If she does get up she gets totally ignored. No hugs, talking to, no more stories or anything. Mine usually is tired so this makes her cry and when she cries we whisk her back to bed and then she'll go to sleep without too much more fight.
We have had to move bedtime back from 7-7:30 to 7:30-8 lately because of the light, but I also agree with trying a bit earlier. I also find I really have to wrap mine's legs up or put my arm over them to help her fall asleep.

Mine smacks me in the face and kicks me and stuff as well, but when she does I just get up and leave, which makes her cry, which makes her want a cuddle which makes her sleepy...

Thanks for all the advice. She is getting better and we have had a few nights this last week where I have stood outside her room and even wandered off without her loosing it. Im currently in the lounge, shes in her room talking to her teddies....
...actually she just wandered out, I told her 'back to bed darling' and she went back in her room.

Not perfect but progress

Also I read that its good if you say something like, Im just going to go and hang out the washing and then Ill come back to see you again, etc and keep doing that and every time wait a little bit longer, obviously if she was crying/screaming you wouldn't if you weren't ok with that, but if she would tolerate it, then maybe you could try it.. she may be a bit young to understand but could be worth a go

sorry not much advice here, but it was nice to read that other people have toddlers that muck around a lot before bed. Tom takes about 1 hr to go to sleep (in bed by 7pm every night)- we recently tried moving him to a bed but after 5 nights gave up because it was impossible and he just wouldn't stay in there. He is now back in the cot and i have decided I will go in and see him once and then just leave him to it and he will eventally fall asleep. FYI he doesn't cry just yells out 'mum mum' and generally mucks around so I know he is alright.

Shes really calmed down in the last month. Tonight was a shocker but for totally other reasons.

We have got her to a point where at 730pm, she gives dad and little sis a kiss, we go to her room, I read her one story and then tell her she can read for a bit but then needs to go to sleep. I also tell her to call out if she needs me, Ill just be in the lounge and then I leave. And lately 95% of the time, thats it. She reads for 1/2 an hour then goes to sleep (the other 5% she wanders out for a cuddle/drink/to be cheeky).

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge improvement so just wanted to share and let others know if you feel its never going to get better, it can and will!!