Self settling - 14 mth old

My 14 month old daughter can't seem to self settle anymore. Along the way we've used a variety of settling techniques including a hammock to rock her to sleep until she was 5 months, feeding to sleep, allowing her to fall asleep on us and then transferring into cot etc. We did CC and CIO at one point and she then started settling herself brilliantly, she found her thumb and used to suck it to sleep. We changed to one day sleep when she was 12 months old as she was resisting 2 sleeps, however she was so tired at night that she'd fall asleep on the boob and got into a habit of that in the last few months. That stopped working as she'd wake an hour or so after going down and it was taking us ages to get her resettled again, and she was waking a lot in the night and not resettling even after boob. So we decided to try CC again and go cold turkey on the night feeds and feeding to sleep.

She's now sleeping through the night (well four nights in a row, yay) but the process of getting her to sleep is awful. We've done CC and eventually CIO, but some day sleeps she's doing 20 - 30 mins of full on "someone is murdering me" screaming and then waking up after only half an hour. At night it's taking 20 to 30 mins also. She also refuses to feed before bed, I try straight after the bath and before stories so as not to associate it with feeding to sleep (in her mind) but she just pushes it away. She just doesn't seem to suck her thumb anymore and seems to want to be with us instead.

I just feel so awful leaving her there to cry, if I knew it was going to get better perhaps I'd have something to cling to, but it's just seeming like it's never going to get better. We've been doing this for 10 days.

Anyone had to do similar and come out the other end okay? Please don't judge me for choosing CIO.

Edited by frankie