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SpecialK 
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Joined: 29 August 2008
Location: New Zealand
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 Topic: Second baby guilts
Posted: 30 June 2010 at 11:14am |
Does anyone else have this?
B2 was planned (although happened much quicker than expected) but I do find that I am a lot more blase about things and I always feel guilty about it  I am not as careful with what I eat, my belly gets a fair knackering from a boisterous toddler, I don't look after myself as well (forget my vitamins etc) and have been really frustrated and annoyed about the morning sickness, tiredness and now all the aches and pains. And with H I used to read lots of books, I knew exactly what baby was doing in any given week, got excited when I found out it grew fingernails or whatever... but not with this one.
And I am terrified of labour because I know what to expect now!
I am really looking forward to the baby but not the process if that makes sense...? And I feel bad that already this bub is not getting as much attention or looking after as H
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kebakat
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Posted: 30 June 2010 at 11:19am |
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I'm the same to an extent. Daniel has kicked my belly plenty of times while trying to get comfy for cuddles and haven't really cared about it.
For me its that all innocence of pregnancy is gone never to be returned.. whereas I had that with Daniel.
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arohanui
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Posted: 30 June 2010 at 11:33am |
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I hear ya. And I hate to tell you, it continues after they're born!! Either I feel bad for my big boy, or I feel bad for my baby - that they're not getting enough attention or whatever. But most of us went through it and we're ok, so I figure it'll all be ok in the end.
Those flipping mummy guilts eh!!
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Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... 
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blondy
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Posted: 30 June 2010 at 12:02pm |
Good to hear I'm not the only one! I know I'm not very far along, but already am just feeling so so much more laid back - the first photo (dating) scan we had this time was only put on the fridge a month after we had the scan when I got the guilts that I hadn't even had a second look at it.......and with Nat I was journal-ing, sticking all her scan photos in etc etc.
Same with food - staying away from the really high risk stuff, but still eating stuff off the 'naughty' list.
And yup, feeling guilty for all of the above! 
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FionaO
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Posted: 30 June 2010 at 3:54pm |
Ummmmmmmmm SNAP
I only found out last night and then I nearly tucked into a glass of wine after a hard day, DH reminded me not too.
DS was literally wanting me to be a trampoline, I cannot remember what I should or should not be eating, last time i'd read it all.
I am also terrified of labour, totally terrified.
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newme
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Posted: 30 June 2010 at 4:42pm |
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I can totally relate.
I am really happy to be pregnant, but there is just so much more going on with a toddler that I just don't have much time or energy to devote to 'being pregnant'.
I keep meaning to read books, and rub oil on my belly, and eat really well, but I just keep thinking I will do it later and then it rarely happens.
As I had a c-section last time, I am really anxious about the birth. I want a VBAC but don't feel like I am getting that much support.
And I haven't taken a single pregnancy photo. I have about 100 when I was this far along with my son!
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freckle
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Posted: 30 June 2010 at 5:28pm |
This is exactly what I was thinking today... esp when I ate a sushi ball  I checked they were fresh as and the rice was just cooked etc... but with my other pregnancies I wouldn't have even had it... Plus I'm just in no rush to see the MW or have a scan - stuff I was totally counting down to the first time...
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mum to 3 lovely girls :D
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fire_engine
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Posted: 30 June 2010 at 7:24pm |
Mmhmm, me seven or eight! More laid back about what I'm eating, not obsessively keeping track of what week/day I am, forgetting I'm PG, not feeling connected to the baby cos I'm too busy dealing with the big brother's tantrums ..... And no reading PG books every night Scans seem surreal to me.
Labour scares me cos I don't want another traumatic one, but what will be will be. I'm feeling pretty laid back about once the baby is here and putting active steps in place to help me cope and get BF established etc.
The first time I felt connected to the baby and stopped and thought about it was when I had a PG massage and it made me sad that I hadn't really just stopped and chilled .... Good excuse to have more PG massages 
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Delli
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Posted: 30 June 2010 at 8:31pm |
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Same here. I guess with my first pregnancy - it was the centre of my universe. I read all the books, wanted to know what was happening every week and put everything up on our wallplanner. This time I just kinda....... Don't care. I mean I do care and I'm super stoked we are having another kid. But the being pregnant part of things just seems to not matter as much as it did the first time around.....
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maya22
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 9:49am |
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Same here too.
It is funny how busy you think you were with work and a social life etc, but first ime round there was a lot more thought going into this baby and pregnancy, I guess a lot more emotional energy.
I have just had a week with DS being ill, and the pegnancy never really entered my mind, I was just to busy/exhausted to think of it.
Edited by maya22
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DS1 July 2007
DS2 Nov 2010
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mummyofprinces
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 10:23am |
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Oh good its normal then!!!
I am way more relaxed about everything.. a friend who is in the first trimester asked me how far along I was "about 24 weeks right" she said last week.. I stopped looked at her and replied "I have no idea"... I check my ticker to see LOL She was right and I thought geez, if that was Jake I could have told her weeks and days...
I have started taking the time at night to go to bed about half an hour before DH and when i feel bubs wake up I talk to him/her and rub my belly etc... thats about as much time as I have to give at the moment.
I was told you dont know guilt until you become a mother, and boy was that true!!!!
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Second baby guilts
