My Preg SIL is angry / jealous of me

Hi
I'm 31, a kiwi living in South Africa at the moment - so all my family and good friends are back home. I have been having pg symptoms for the last 2 weeks and think I’m ++ but will find out hopefully 2morrow.
My sister in law (25years old) is 5 months pg (1st child) and I was excited so told her I may be also (as I needed someone to confide in) and she freaked out, got really angry and told me I should have waited. I'm not even sure IF I am yet as it wasn’t planned, but my hubby and I would be ecstatic if we were. I'm pretty sure she feels like -if I am- pg I did it on purpose to take away her limelight. I was really upset and hurt by her reaction as I would have thought she would be excited and happy for us. I'm 31 and cant wait forever just so she can be the only one pg!!!

Has anyone had this problem before?

Poor you thats so selfish.

I hope you are, good luck with testing let us know!

What a selfish cow! who cares what she thinks - fingers crossed for a + result and a more positive response from others!

Edited by RubyG

Wouldn't you think she would be happy to know that there will be cousins that will be simalar ages all of their lives rather than be pissed off for having some one pregnant at the same time for 9 mths!

I agree it was probably just initial shock... I was kind of in the opposite position. I was pregnant, after not expecting to be able to have a baby, then a few months later my sister, who had a year-old boy, announced she was also. My first thoughts - although I didn't vocalise them to anyone except dh - were ones of disappointment that ours wouldn't be the only special baby anymore, and jealousy that she could have another kid... But they didn't last long. Our daughter is now 2wks old, and she is as special as anything to us and to our families, and we are looking forward to meeting her cousin in a couple of months - there will be 3 terrors to create havoc!!

I hope your sister will see it the same way in a few weeks/months. In the meantime, while her reaction might seem unfair, don't be too hard on her. Emotions are funny things, and even when we KNOW we're being stupid & selfish it can sometimes take a few weeks to change them!! After a couple of weeks, I found it great to have someone to talk to who was also going through the same things!

I had the same thing Jess.  I was 3 months preg when my sis got pregnant and although I was a bit dissapointed my child wouldn't be the only baby in the family for long I never vocalised it.  I was so happy for my sister, especially since I knew what a struggle it had been for her (she already had a 4yo son but then had 3 mcs in a row and surgery to remove endo only a couple of months before getting pregnant).

I love that Michaela has a cousin close in age, it's a pity they live so far away because the kids get on so well. 

kiwi-in-SA I'm really sorry that your SIL reacted that way.  I hope you get a +ive result and have a great pregnancy and I hope that your SIL gets over herself soon.

In fact, Caitlyn's dad and his wife are due with a surprise baby 2 weeks after this one is due...Im not going to get all annoyed that both of us will be giving C a sibling, on the contrary I think shes very lucky, she gets two , for the price of one ! score !
And it also means Angela (her stepmum) is more willing to talk about 2nd pregnancies etc (this is her 3rd) than she probably would be if she wasnt pregnant

Good luck with your results, I hope they come back postive!!
I'm 32 and 8 months pregnant with our 1st baby and my big sister (35) told us 2 weeks ago that she's pregnant with her 1st (7 weeks along today). My first thought was "that's awesome" and it never crossed my mind to be jealous etc. Our baby will be the first grandchild for our mum and my mum is so excited to be getting 2 grandchildren in one year.

I hope your SIL realises she's been a selfish cow about it and starts to support you.

Hugs

Hi

Guys thanks for your support. I'm she'll get over it if I am, shes still young and a bit immature still. I still havent found out yet. Fingers crossed though, I'll keep you posted.

I'm hopping on a plane and coming home if I am, as you have to pay for everything here in SA, even to have a baby!! Thank God for the NZ health system!

Good luck to you all!

xx

PS - thanks AzzaNZ i'll check it out.