when is it too late to change midwife?

I am really annoyed at my midwife at the moment. Back at my 32 week visit she suggested that I visit an obs she works with in case I needed a ceaser or forceps or whatever during labour. Which I am completely fine with - am fine with the fees etc. No problem there.

At this stage we hadn't even discussed birthing options, or birth plans etc.

The appointment with the obs is on Friday.

Yesterday she pops the referral into my folder (which I take home with me). When I get home I have a look. In the file she says "F (me) is experiencing high anxiety over the birth and so am recommending an epidural to manage the labour". Now this is complete cr@p!!! I am not at all anxious over the birth - in fact am looking forward to it! I know its going to hurt, I know its not going to be too pleasant but it won't go for days on end (if I need a ceaser so be it) and I will get the best reward of all - our beautiful baby.

So now my confidence in her has been shattered. She never mentioned this when we did discuss my birth plan last week - when I mentioned I would have no problem with an epi but would prefer to try other non-drug pain releif methods first.

Anyways my question is, when is it too late to change your midwife? I only have a couple of weeks to go so am guessing it is a wee bit late. Any other ideas on what I could do. My husband thinks I should call her and discuss it with her - which I guess would be the grown up thing to do! But I am just really peeved at the moment that I just wouldn't be able to get my point across clearly.

Thanks in advance.

That is not good Mrs Crispy!
Do you think she is misunderstanding you, or just not listening?

If it is a misunderstanding you thing, maybe talking to her would be best and making her listen to your wants. Maybe she's really busy and needs a bit of a wake up call about paying attention to you properly.

If she is just not listening and not giving you the care you need I would be inclined to do a little ring around and talk to other midwives about the possibility of taking you on at this late stage. I know my midwife with Benjy had a couple of ladies who transferred around their due dates after losing confidence in their original midwife, so it is possible to change. Make sure though that you feel confident and happy with whoever you change to though as you won't have a lot of time to get to know each other!

You're right, it is really important to feel confident about the person who is helping you bring your child into the world so you do what feels best for you in this situation, look after your best interests!

All the best hun, good luck with however you decide to go.

Hey is there any particular reason why you may need forceps or c/s? Like, is your baby measuring big or something? Because that doesn't sound common to me.

Thanks guys for the responses.

My husband thinks the same as you guys - that she must've got me muddled up with someone else. The thing is everytime (well the four times!) I have rung her up with a query I've apologised for being a paranoid mum and she has always responded saying no you're a good mum, mum's worry. So I haven't been too concerned if I have been paranoid/anxious etc.

I think I'm just going to have to call her and ask her what its all about becuase up to this point I've been completely happy with her - had zero complaints at all.

Toni - thats its exactly. She should've mentioned it to me before! Well she said in the notes she did but I don't remember it at all! And before I did my ante natal I was a bit anti-epidurals so I think I would remember agreeing to having one!!!

busymum - no not really any reason for the intervention. Its a just in case thing more then anything. And I'd rather if I need to have a c/s or whatever that I know the person doing the surgery then a stranger if you know what I mean?

In my experience, here in hicktown, at the moment it is nigh on impossible to get an epidural because of DHB funding and other political rubbish. Now, I know, from experience, again, that if your midwife says there are "problems", there will be not so much trouble to get one if you should so desire. Maybe there are similar problems that you are unaware of within your DHB (I know our DHB wanted it kept quiet, but I got wind of it from an independant m/w friend of mine who wanted to alert the papers about it, but was unable to in case she lost her visiting rights to the hospital)and your m/w "doctored" up that claim so it wuld be easier for you to get an epi if you really wanted/needed it... Not being rude here, please don't take my post the wrong way, but in my current situation at the moment, that is how I might take it... If you are worried, ask her!