i feel so bad

I can't offer you any advice, but I can offer you hugs Sorry to hear you're having a hard time Lu !

when babies first say dadadada - it is only a noise they like to make - dont feel bad, hes not asking for an absent dad.

if you feel you should do more to encourage a relationship maybe look into getting an access agreement made up thru the courts. then if he still doesnt see james you know you have done all you can.

but dont feel bad, no dad is better than a horrible one.

oh Lu i understand that feeling and I know it sucks but just remember you are a great mum and James wont resent you for his father being a no show. The good thing about doing thison your own is that you dont have share any kisses and cuddles from James with anyone else. All those special ones are just for you

< language=> Lu - dont doubt for a minute that your not doing a good job infact your doing a GREAT job. Its not your problem that James' dad doesnt want anything to do with him. it sounds like youve been VERY reasonable about it all and its fine to have the feelings you have. At the end of the day its his decision/ problem not yours and no matter how much you want him to be part of james life you cant force the issue. As for James Im sure once he is old enough to understand your reasoning behind it all he will know that you  made the best decision for him. In the mean time like marleen said enjoy all the kisses & cuddles & together time that you guys share.

Take care of yourself Lu & enjoy celebrating a special birthday with a special boy.

Just make sure you don't get your raincoat from K-Mart.

Hey Lu,
As you know, Hannah doesn't have a dad either but she has plenty of male influence from my sister's boyf and my boyfriend too.
Why don't you con your brother into coming around to play? That way you can make sure he's getting some "man time" but you don't have to deal with the crap surrounding his sperm donor!
But honestly, I don't think James worry about not having a dad until much later in life, and by then you may have met the man of your dreams!!! (or if not, that's no problem either).
The most important thing is that he has a safe place to live and a caring parent. Sounds like he has that and more so he's doing fine!

LONG REPLY WARNING!!! (Okay, I got a little carried away, and I've been timed out three times while writing this, so here goes...version #4)...

Hey Lu, Dadadadada is a developmental sound that all babies make pretty early on. Both of my boys made it; Sean 10 years ago when I was doing the parenting thing on my own after his bio-dad had left the week he was born, and Andrew a month or two ago with my wonderful, amazing husband in the house. The thing is, both boys made the dadadad noise to the cat, the tv remote, the drink bottle - anything that caught their attention. The really exciting time is yet to come - when James says "I love you Mummy" and understands what he is saying and why - or comes up to give you a hug - or to show you something he is really proud of.
If you are anything like me, you will go through times when you want to beat yourself up for not providing your little guy with the perfect TV family unit of Mum, Dad, little brother or sister, cat, dog etc - but all of that is out of your control right now. You probably didn't choose to be in this situation, but just think - if you were with James' biological (because it takes more than a sperm deposit to be a real parent) dad, would you be able to provide the happy, well balanced, calm environment to nurture and raise your wonderful little guy? If I answer that question for Sean's bio-father and myself - NO WAY - we would have been fighting tooth and nail, he would have been a lousy role model and times would not have been pretty. As it turns out, fate was kind to me and when Sean was 7 I met the perfect guy that has allowed us to grow the family. He's an excellent role model and great step-Dad and Sean and I are really lucky. However...that was seven long years down the track. My advice to you is - don't sell yourself short - you want to give James the absolute best of everything, and believe it or not, by being a caring, nurturing, wonderful mum, who has protected him from a not-so-good relationship and not so brilliant male role model you are giving him the best. Make sure you don’t settle for anything less than the best for you both – and remember – you are the best thing ever for James. You may dislike (and sometimes want to dismember) James’ bioDad, but remember, as much as he falters as a human being, he has given you the most amazing thing out – the opportunity to love, care and raise a wonderful human being and be a great mum. Take care of yourself – and remember – those times when you think you are doing it all by yourself – you’re not – there are loads of people cheering in your corner – not the least of which is wee James! Lotsa love - Maree

Hey, no worries at all. We all have rough days...just means that we appreciate the good ones all the more.