How to make a husband understand?? Help!!

sorry Im not sure what to do about that cos I have the same problem. my hubby thinks I shoudl know when Im going to be moody and change my mood, like it works like that. he doesnt realise how hormones etc can take its toll and takes every little comment personally when half the time I just want to yell at someone and he is there.

Thanks, If reading a book would only be that easy, I know that Rob understands most of the time but then he forgets real easily too. He was in a bad car accident in 2001 and suffered a bad head injury blah blah and he blames the way he is on that all the time, who knows if its true, i never knew him before it.. we've argued often in the past but he's seemed to have gotten better, but now its like hes gone back to how he was, i dont like the yelling, even now cos i know that baby can hear him, and me for that matter... something so small can turn into something so big in seconds! I dont want my baby to be in that kind of enviroment! I just wish he would understand!!

hi there frist big hugs as i no as many on here do what hormoans can do i say try the book thing it might just work so sorry u are feeling like this just try to relax

Oooh yeh Jax- that idea about writing it down so you can remeber what has happened during a fight and bring them up. That's a great idea.

I agree with what Jax has said, it comes down to communication really and finding a way to get it across to him as calmly as possible when totally hormonal!

Rehearsing what you want to say is a good method as well as writing down points you need to get across. Sorry but bringing up past mistakes or "nagging" tends to be less effective though...men just seem to shut off! *sigh*

I can't really be much more help as I have a totally supportive and disgustingly understanding hubby! (Sorry girls! )

I too agree with Jax. Also I have found that it helps if someone else (like midwife) explains to them about the weird and wacky things that go on with your body during pregnancy. When I first got preg, I made Hubby come to Dr ( even tho he didnt see the point), and when I was complaining about feeling emotional etc etc the Dr said " you can have or feel anything when your pregnant",..then he came to all the midwife appts, and the first few were basically telling him that everything that was going on with me was "normal" for pregnancy,..and now hes amazingly understanding ( mostly

I am in the same boat, my hubby thinks that emotions are something that we control, and that I choose to be angry or upset. We had a real bad time until about a month ago - he accused me of turning into a monster and said I was impossible to live with...even threatened to leave one night. It was really hard. My moods have calmed down now a bit so we didnt really overcome teh problem so not sure what to say really, except I sympathise with you! I am dreading any more crazy mood stages, and I am sure I am going to get them later on too, but dont know how to make him understand. Tried to get him to read my book on pregnancy, he didnt. i even read to him from it abuot the moods, but he just doesnt seems to believe it...ah well...men ey? grrrrr...
good luck, if you find the answer tell me too Lol!

Hey everyone thanks for your lovely comments to help me out Its also good to know im not the only one in a situation like this... when i find the right time i will talk to him a bit more, but i keep thinking he does know how i feel until he breaks again. Like he came into the room sunday night after we had been fighting(we went to my parents for dinner and had to hide it but mum said she could tell by my face that i had been crying) but he came into the room once home and wanted to give me a kiss??? I was like, i dont want a kiss id much rather an apology for how you treated me today! So he apologised and said how much he had been looking forward to going to Rotorua.Well like i did'nt know! but he did apologise, and i told him how i had been feeling and about hormones and stuff.... then yesterday he came home from work saying why did i give him a youghurt in his lunch and i should know he does'nt eat them at work!!Well he was with me when we did the shopping and i said the reason for them was for his lunch since hes so fussy and does'nt eat much normal food! It turned to a fight, where i was only trying to help him out by making his lunch since he had been working hard lately and longer hours.To cut a long story shorter he ended up in the bathroom slamming doors and stuff, i went in and said please dont do that cos the baby can hear, well as soon as i opened the door he had his hand on the vanity with the first aid sissors(sp) in his other hand trying to scare me that he was going to stab his hand! Being a scene i had seen before i just shut the door and walked off! but previous times hes punched 2 holes in the door, we only rent so yay for the bond now, my parents paid the bond so are'nt too happy! Now hes not a bad person all the time, these instances only happen every few months, but when they do they are'nt nice and im just freaking about having a baby in that enviroment! Man i feel ive babbled on ! Sorry about that but im glad to get it out!

Yes I agree. We certainly have our ups and downs as we are both very emotional people. You are not alone!!!!

It is very hard dealing with an emotional roller coaster ride partner when you are so unpredictable and feeling all over the place yourself.

I find with my partner, as he is a real up and down person sometimes .. that when he starts getting a bit angsty..or Paige is getting at him and wont leave him alone or he is buggered & tired...Its best I take off for a bit and let him have some quiet time. I tell him why I am doing it too and the reasons why. And the more I have done it the less these "incidents" have happened.

I am really trying hard to not dwell on anything that happens either as I was real good at that and would hold onto stuff forever!!!


Hang in there....try talk calmly and get stuff out so that you both know where you are at!


TAKE CARE of yourself too....and if your Mum knows you are upset ..dont hide it from her. Let her know!!

good attitude Bekkie - I am the same someitmes I just have to bite my toungue for th sake of peace and think to myself "is this worth a huge argument?"99.999% of the time it is not...
Glad to hear you are feeling better - I like Kelpa's idea of taking some time out - that is something i really need to learn how to do myself..
ah well, live and learn, there is no perfect partner (ourselves included), we are all only human!