When someone is not so happy for you

I’m not sure the best way to handle this situation that has cropped up from a most surprising corner.

My sister in law got engaged last month and is getting married in July. We held off sharing our news because yesterday was their engagement party. So far so good.

Well she figured out that we may be pregnant and her mum confirmed it when asked.

Things when bad when she emailed us convinced this happened on the cruise. We laughed and said not quite it’s a Boxing Day baby. She then started a big argument about how doctors aren’t always right and how we shouldn’t believe everything we read in pregnancy books. Very confused but thinking we knew what was up B emailed her, trying to placate her and reassure her that we weren’t trying to overshadow her upcoming wedding.

Turns out we were spot on. She is annoyed at being wrong about how far pregnant I am and that some of the attention is off her.

I’m not sure how to handle it. I can understand her point of view but at the same time don’t we also deserve some spotlight after the last year of trying and everything we’ve been through?

Any advice how I could handle this and keep everyone happy?

I don't really have any advice either... seems to me that you have done nothing wrong and it is her issue. I can understand her being miffed (to a certain extent) but she needs to get over it. I say just try to be extra special nice until she realises how silly she is being? But then again I have never been known for my tact!! Good luck!

Well, all I can say is that even though she is family, you can't please everyone. This is your life, your journey, and your baby - try as she might she can't change any of that, and I don't see why her tanty should make you feel guilty. In my humble opinion, she could have been far more tactful in her reaction and not assumed you were trying to upstage her !! Mind you, my stance on this might come from the fact that although I see marriage as something important and significant if a person chooses to take that step, I feel that it is also somewhat 'overrated' and there is a lot of unnecessary 'hoo-ha' (for lack of a better expression) that detracts from the actual point. Without putting your SIL down too much, because as I said before I do understand that marrige is a significant and important thing, you guys deserve this baby so much and should leave her to deal with her own issues if she can't accept it and be happy for you (and get on with her own life).

Hey paws i would just wait for her to calm down and come to her senses she will and she will be happy for the both of you, shes probably just worried that the baby is due when her wedding is and like you said worried ur taking the spotlight off her. As hard as it is dont let her get to you, you dont need the stress

Well did try explaining we were not trying to over-shadow her day or anything...it's why we said nothing yesterday...she still was not happy so we'll just wait for her to chill.

The baby won't be here until a few months after the wedding so hopefully people will be over the topic!

Thanks guys!

thats i i feel if she cant come to the obverious conculeiosn herself(bad spelling) then let her chill

Having done the whole "Bride" thang and knowing how nuts I was leading up to the big day LOL. I can sort of understand why your SiL would react like that - but I certainly don't think you should have to put up with it, especially now! You don't need any stress in your life right now - You just concentrate on looking after you and that baby!
*gets down from soapbox*

This is gona sound really harsh but tell her to get over it how much attention does one person need. When you are TTC you don't know when its gona happen and you can't exactly plan it so you can take the spotlight of your 'SIL', so she should be happy for you and i'm sure everyone in your family will be equally happy for both of you. If that was my SIL i would just give her her space and let her come to you. She will soon realise what an egg she's been and if not well never mind her. Concentrate on you and your little baby you are carrying you don't need the stress.

Yeah I thought of doing that...we had a chat to MIL this evening and she is sure my SIL will chill...I'll just give her time and we'll take your advice SB...and make sure we give her plenty of wedding attention!

She is worried about there being no attention on her so as much as I want to tell her to pull her head in (and I can't guarentee that might not happen in a mad hormonal moment) I'll just suck it in and be wedding cheerful with her.

oh my sis was a cow when i got pregnant. her and my ma didnt like my wonderful partner. my ma and i had a talk about it and all is well, but my sis wasnt happy that we'd sorted our differences and had a huge arguement with my ma THEN she rang me saying i had to go over there ( to my mum and dads) coz the baby was causing arguements... well of course i told her to rightly get phucked!
shes over it now,,, the moral of the story is (lol) i wouldnt worry too much about your SIL your news is fab and she just has to grow up.