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Bel 
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Joined: 02 March 2007
Location: Northland
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 Topic: Not their fault...
Posted: 03 January 2008 at 9:46pm |
DH and I realised something this New Years Eve - we have a baby, and he is our responsibility - and it is not our friends fault that we thought we could take our 7 week old baby to stay and party...
I had a crap time, as there was too much noise, he couldn't settle, and I couldn't relax (and because I am BF, I couldn't drink either). We ended up putting Luke to sleep in the backseat of our ute (where he slept brilliantly) until we made it to bed (at 4am cos we were sleeping right by the people and so had to wait until everyone went to bed). I woke up 2 hours later feeling really hungover (due to severe lack of sleep) and had a baby that was ready to start the day...
Basically I can see why you start seeing new friends that have babies and are in the same situation as you, as then they can understand how I am feeling and help me out - as it was no one understood and so I just had to fumble my way through - think I found the whole situation harder than Luke tho...
Just had to share 
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Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007)
Amy (01.04.2009)
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Maya
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Joined: 16 September 2003
Location: Sydney
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Posted: 03 January 2008 at 9:48pm |
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Good point! I hate going places where people don't have kids, or only have one kid, and I feel like I have to 'handle' mine on my own and make them sit still and quiet and fit in when they just want to run riot and be normal kids.
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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FionaS
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Joined: 17 April 2007
Location: Auckland
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Posted: 03 January 2008 at 10:07pm |
 Maya wrote:
Good point! I hate going places where people don't have kids, or only have one kid, and I feel like I have to 'handle' mine on my own and make them sit still and quiet and fit in when they just want to run riot and be normal kids. |
 I only have 1 but they can run riot...jump on the couches even  I don't mind!!
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BabyOnBoard
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Joined: 12 March 2007
Location: Putaruru, Waikato
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Posted: 03 January 2008 at 11:01pm |
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Arabellas dads mother (if that makes sense) planned a huge 21st piss up for him when Arabella was 2 weeks old and expect ud to go! Well that didn't happen . .
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caliandjack
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Location: West Auckland
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Posted: 04 January 2008 at 8:29am |
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Thanks Bel, its good to know where friends are coming from when they can't do things cause of the children.
I think that's one of the reasons I don't see a good friend much anymore cause we don't have children yet.
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kebakat
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Posted: 04 January 2008 at 8:57am |
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I found this a bit on xmas day.. Daniel was trying to sleep but my brother and his woman were in the garage (next to the room he was sleeping in) squeeling and being generally loud so Daniel couldn't get to sleep and he wondered why I was so sh*tty at him.
I guess I am lucky in the fact that I do have a few friends with kids and the ones who don't have kids generally are very good and understanding
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peanut butter
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Posted: 04 January 2008 at 8:57am |
This year we went to one of my antenatal group's house for New Years and it was great. There was only 1 or 2 couples that didnt have kids and all our kids were the same age. some slept and Tom and one other stayed up 
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caraMel
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Posted: 04 January 2008 at 8:57am |
We did a very similar thing when Ella was very small.
One of our good friends planned her birthday party out at her parent's farm out of town.
She really wanted us to go and we didn't want to be piking out of everything because we had a baby now.
It was a horrible night, Ella got really overstimulated because of all the attention and cried for hours. Then once she was finally asleep I couldn't relax because I kept worrying that one of the many drunk and wasted people was going to wake her up or worse!
Didn't wind up going to sleep until the wee small hours but of course Ella was up at the crack of dawn as usual
Although we do still see most of our old friends, its nowhere near as much as before. And they hardly even bother to invite us when they're going out boozing cos they know we'll say no.
It is just easier and more fun for us I find, hanging out with other parents who understand the limitations and responsibilities.
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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Bel
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Posted: 04 January 2008 at 4:16pm |
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Cool, I am glad you guys find it the same...
I guess it doesn't mean we have to lose our old friends, just be aware of what it will be like when we commit to things...
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Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007)
Amy (01.04.2009)
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Bobbie
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Posted: 04 January 2008 at 6:26pm |
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We're having a super hard time with managing the expectations of our family and friends - we took Rowan at a week old over to the other side of Auckland for Christmas lunch which left her unsettled and then had to make an appearance at 2 weeks old at a New Year's party for a friend who was off to the UK the next day. Now we've just been corralled into a BBQ at DH's brother's house so we can introduce 3 week old Rowan to the whole tribe.
It's too much for such a little girl IMO but when we say no to things people get upset - this is only about 1% of all the things we've been invited to. Just the ones we really felt we needed to attend.
It stresses me out more than her though.
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Bel
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Posted: 05 January 2008 at 1:48pm |
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haha bobbie that is my problem too a bit - it worries me far more than him... DH is great and promises me that we can go home whenever I am ready (except when he is too drunk to drive at new years... - the one time I wanted to go home)
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Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007)
Amy (01.04.2009)
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BellaBoo
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Posted: 05 January 2008 at 2:02pm |
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Same problem here!! SIL (has no children) especially gets all annoyed when we dont go to things. She thinks having a 3 week old baby is a piece of cake!! This would be because I work damn hard to feed her up and have her all settled and organised to go somewhere. Then she will just go ahead and pick her up and pass her round- I am the one that has to deal with an overstimulated baby later on! She called this morning and offered to babysit for the day- nice thought but she forgets that I am trying to get to know Bella better as she is only 3 weeks old, she needs to be breast fed 2hrly and we are still having sleeping issues. I know if I let her she will have Bella up the whole time!! I hate it when partners family comes around and passes her round like they own her- am I just being overprotective?
Edited by Topsy
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james
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Posted: 05 January 2008 at 7:51pm |
no thats normal i told people if james was sleeping he stayed sleeping and i left him at home with my sis or mum if i went out but i was quite lucky that people took me the right way
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Not their fault...
