Hobbies

Please help!

How many hours do you think is a reasonable amount of time for a parent to spend on a hobbie per week?

My DH has his cycling hobbie and he is currently doing this:

2x 3 hour shop rides (5pm-8pm)
1x 5 hour Sunday bike ride
1x Saturday working for FREE at a bike shop

I am at the end of my tether!
I have one photography class on a Tuesday for 2 hours. And over the last two weeks I decided to join the gym, so DH has actually been looking after the kids for an hour while I go. (Really good because I now have me time!)

But now its turning into a time keeping game. I told him that he spends too much time doing stuff and so now he is counting things like the baby shower I attended yesterday (a one-off!) He is canceling his shop ride tonight as its raining, and wants to add the time he would have spent tonight onto saturdays shop experience! Its all getting really ridiculous.

He never consulted me about him working at a cycle shop and announced he was going to be working there last week. The moment I started asking questions he got really angry with me about it and thought everything was always about ME. He went there on saturday and didnt give me a time that he would home. A few weeks ago I got asked to look after a boy on a saturday while his mum worked (paid) but DH said no as Saturdays are "our time" and now hes doing this!!!!

I am trying to see his side which is why I am posting, because at the moment all I see is poor old me I dont really like posting personal stuff but I really want to know if I am being unreasonable before I take to him with a stick tonight

I have the opposite problem, I am trying to encourage my DH to get back into his hobbies (mostly sports) as he has stopped doing anything other than work or being at home since C was born.

Myself, I play football once a week on a Tuesday night (when C is in bed) and that's about it for regularly planned stuff. I would be really happy if my DH went out one night a week and played a sport or something, even doing something on the weekends wouldn't bother me.

In your case I think your DH is probably doing a bit much and I would be gutted about him being out both days on the weekend but that's coz my own DH works long hours and weekends are really the only time he has with Callum.

Yeah, I'd love my husband to have a hobbie but both days on the weekend would annoy me after a while. I'd ask him to can the Saturday working for free (huh??) thing at least.

I like it when Dh goes and plays his sport, gets him out of the house and I get the place to myself.

Thanks girls.

The free thing - he thinks learning about bikes and watching the guys fix them is going to be beneficial, 'cause then if his bike breaks down he can fix it and wont have to pay for it.
I told him he might as well just bloomin pay for something to get fixed should it ever happen!
He just got back from the bike shop as he wanted them to look at Janayas bike, its going to cost us $50... He says if we are really lucky we might only have to pay for parts. Yay us.


He usually works five weeks of rotating shifts which includes weekends (and sometimes 7 days in a row) ATM he is on "drop down" which means he has 12 weeks of working 5 days a week and no weekends. So he wont be able to do every saturday in the future.

He is paid $15k more a year for working 3 out of 5 weekends, and he has come home today proposing that he switch to the "normal" role at work which means no more weekend work, no more 7 day weeks then he could work at the bike shop every saturday. When I mentioned the 15k drop he said "oh yes, its all about money with you isnt it?" Well, if it means we are going to be $280 short a week and we dont have money to put food on the table then yes!
So he thinks working mon-fri and then a saturday for free is going to be better.

I've told him if hes serious about the shift work being too much then he can change to the other job once I get an extra child in my care through porse.. but he wont be working on a saturday! And what do you know.....

Edited by kaiz231

Hugs, that must be so hard!
We used to have issues with him and WoW (an online game). It's okay now though, we have pretty cruisy evening times. Hollie's down at 6.30, 6.30-7 is us time, 7-8.30 is our own times. We get one day a weekend each in which neither is commited previously yet, so it can be pretty flexible.

Edited by Flake

Flake wrote: Hugs, that must be so hard! We used to have issues with him and WoW (an online game). It's okay now though, we have pretty cruisy evening times. Hollie's down at 6.30, 6.30-7 is us time, 7-8.30 is our own times. We get one day a weekend each in which neither has weekends, so it can be pretty flexible.

My husband is still addicted to video games. I wish that we could work it out like you guys do. I am a bit frustrated with him on the games because it ends up that video games take all his time. He spent every minute on gaming except work.

Edited by babybaby

I'm sorry but that is crazy, $15k to spend a day working for free?!? Dropping the money to spend weekends with his family perhaps but not to work at a non paying job.

My DH doesn't really have hobbies anymore, used to have rugby practice two evenings a week and games on Saturday arvos but he's given that away now.

I guess its only a problem if he's turning down doing things with you and the kids in favour of his hobbie.
I know a lot of cycling / triathalon widdows so your not alone.
Get him to schedule some time with you and the kids in between his rides.
Is he training for a specific event?