Child Support.

As I'm currently on a benefit, it doesn't affect me as it's all inclusive of the money I get each week...

But soon enough I will be coming off the benefit before this baby is born and my partner moves down from Auckland.   I will have to go to WINZ and cancel my benefit as we will be living together and I do not want to get in the sh*t with WINZ at all!   

My ex currently pays NOTHING as far as I know.   Last time I asked him he said 'Not at the moment..' and then asked if we could do a private arrangement only if I made sure NONE of his money was going on rent or bills or things for our household because as far as he is concerned it should ALL be going to Sam and things for Sam. Well he can shove that idea because I know he would get in the snitch with me for no reason and stop the arrangement just to spite me IYGWIM.

He currently earns over 90k a year in Australia in an all expenses/accomodation/food/utilities PAID for job.   So he basically has nothing to do with his money other than pay back the horrendous messy debt he left in NZ.

I don't particularly care about his money or what he does with it but a lot of people say that I shouldn't let him see Sam if he doesn't even pay child support. He currently returns to NZ once every two-three months and has Sam at his parents for a week.

I don't know whether to tell IRD about him or not.

On one hand when I have this baby and my partner and I are living together it would definitely help financially, but I just don't want him to be a pain about it.

I don't really know what else to say.   I don't want to cut his access to Sam and I would feel really mean if he had to pay a HUGE amount of child support (even though he's a horrible man).

Bizzy wrote: renee!!!!! firstly you cant stop him seeing sam just cause he doesnt pay, secondly he should be paying. So yes you should tell IRD all you know about his financial situation. Sam deserves to make up his own mind about his dad and its good for him to get to knwo his grandparents too... as far as i know too you cant make a private arrangement unless you are working.

Yeah that's what I thought! Although I dislike him immensely after everything he has done to me, he will always be Sams dad and I want them to have a good relationship and then when Sam is older he can make up his own mind.   It's really good at the moment as his grandparents come once a month and take him out for the whole day and he really loves seeing them and his two cousins on that side too.   I have always made it really really easy for them all to see Sam whenever they want to and I know they really appreciate it.

From what others have told me he could be stopped from leaving the country if he has outstanding child support payments, but I think it's different for him because he works over there rather than just having a holiday. I would really hate to stop him leaving NZ when he comes back as he would instantly know it was me who told IRD and would really make things difficult for me.

I know I need to tell them, I just don't know what he would do if I did.

You should definately tell IRD about him. The point of child support is that the child would get the same standard of living as the paying parent. He cant say what you spend it on, as its none of his business. You have to pay rent and power etc as part of looking after Sam.

I would tell IRD and get him accountable to them. After a while of that, he may reconsider a private arrangement.   I have a very good working relationship with dd father and its been because I am fair but firm with him. I don't let him forget his responsibility financially, and I let him have free access (as well as his parents) to her as much as they like. After a few years, he has lost interest in having her (his loss), but he pays up every month because if he doesn't he gets in trouble with IRD.

From what I have heard, there is an agreement between NZ and Aus so that if one parent is over there, they are still accountable for child support.

If you have him accountable to IRD, you don't even have to discuss the payments with him...you can just let IRD do that.

I have found that if you give an ex an inch, they will try and take a mile. Firm but fair seems to work well :o)

On the other hand, you could give him the option of giving up his guardianship of Sam. I think that means he doesn't have to pay anything anymore, but he also wont have a say in how you raise him. It will give you the option of your new partner adopting him later, if you end up wanting to go down that track. It doesn't mean you can let him still see him, just that he wont have a say in how he is brought up.

I know that if the child lives in OZ & the father lives here then he pays, & he pays a lot more than here, but not sure if the father is in OZ, & the child lives here.

definatly tell IRD about him ,a client at work had the same thing with her ex she told ird and he had to back pay her HEAPS and ird are wicked as they chase it up so you dont have to.

i have a private arangement with ex thru ird he pays a certian amount to ird each week and it gets paid to me on the 7th of each month and if he doesnt pay they chase him up so i dont have to put up with it (which usually ended in a massive argument)

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Edited by Nay29

I just had a little look on the ird website and here's a link to a bit of info on child support and living in aussie.

http://www.ird.govt.nz/childsupport/paying-parents/overseas/

There's a little calculator on the right hand side to work out how much he'd need to pay. I did a quick calculation but it depends on a few factors. For example if he earns $90k and lives with a partner and care is not shared (I assume 1 week every 3 months isn't counted as shared) then it works out at approx $1000 a month he'd need to pay.   It would be more if you convert the 90k to NZ$ and if it lives on his own and also if they count all the extras he gets. Whether you decide to pursue that or just have that figure in mind for calculating a private arrangement

$1000 sounds like heaps but $90k is $7500 a month (before tax of course) so probably quite fair especially since he doesn't have to pay any accommodation etc..