Interesting phone call

I have just gotten off the phone from DP who has been talking to his brother in Auckland. You may have heard me talk about him a druggie low life two kids here in Gizzy and two up there.

Well anyway it turns out that the have been evicted for the fourth time for not paying rent and are now living with DPs oldest brother who isnt the wealthiest person either. Anyway the oldest girl is 8 hardly ever goes to school, never gets cooked meals, rarely gets clothes. They didn't even buy them birthday presents last xmas. They have a little one who is 2 as well.

Now Ricanna the 8 year old is DP's favourite she is a sweet little girl who has never done anything wrong and now they want me to take her on. Bring her down here and care for her. I said I will need to think about it but I do not see a problem with it, im so scared for her with the amount of low life men they have coming through their house at all hours of the night its a terrifying thought.

I said to DP that I will talk to his mum and see if she can organise a bus trip down and I could probably get a bit of assistance from WINZ for having her THEN he turns around and says "oh they want you to have her, but they want to still claim their benefit" I am hitting the roof right now im so mad!!!!! They want me to fork out for all the uniforms and what not and won't give up their benefit!

Im not quite sure what to do, should we bring her into our care and then go to WINZ and prove that we have her and are covering all her expenses?

Everytime we go to Auckland I treat her hair for nits and take her to get it cut and new clothes and we always have to buy them groceries like they dont have milk and bread and when they had their next baby we bought them the cot and car seat and clothes because she was in hospital with the baby and had NOTHING at home for it!

Its a big responsibility but heck we have a school just around the corner and we have a big house and her aunty and grandparents are here I know she could have a better life. I dont get how they can just... not want her though

That is a tough one. In my experience, taking on someone else's child is never as easy as it seems, especially if there are other 'issues' in play. If you are going to take her on, you are going to need a lot of support, both from your family and from social support agencies, you'd need to be appointed her guardians so you can consent if she needs medical treatment etc. It's also not as simple as just turning up at WINZ with her, for you to be able to recieve payments from them for her you either need to get the permission of her parents (coz they will be charged child support) or to go thru legal avenues if they refuse to give it, which all takes time. If they are getting the benefit for her now it also takes around 2 weeks for the red tape etc. associated with removing her from their benefit.

As for them dumping the child on you and keeping their benefit, that's disgusting!

Yeah I was worried about Neosha, Bruces parents said they wouldn't mind having Ricanna most weekends so I would be sole carer during the week, taking her to school and stuff so there would be alot of alone time with Neosha.

I just think that if they are doing the right thing like they say they will do the whole legal thing with us so its done properly, not try to do an underhanded dodgy act! My main concern is no one else will have here because they work or don't want the extra responsibility and I don't want her to end up in foster care which I think this is where it's going as there have been numerous complaints from the school and now they have two families cramped into a 2 bdrm house.

Anyway I am going to speak to DP about it tonight then who can I ring for advice??

Edited by NeoshasMummy

if the parents arent willing to sign legal guardianship over to you there isnt much that can be done uless you involve cyfs (i think) and then they may consider you as a "foster" home as opposed to one with strangers.

otherwise tho if you agree to have her live with you without anything legal they can take her back at any time and you wont have a leg to stand on. If it is just them signing over her benefit to you they may not want to do that as it will mean they may get charged child support for her... if they do agree tho it wont take long for the change over but i think they will have to agree that the arrangements re the benefit wont change for 24 mths.

but you will need to be a legal guardian for things like medical care (as emma said) possibly even schooling or lots of other things where consent is required.



Edited by Bizzy

nikkiwhyte wrote: I'm sorry - this is quick but there is no way in hell I would still let them claim a benefit for a kid that isn't in their care. Ridiculous. Especially if they are somehow not paying the rent as it is. Fricking drugs.

I know, I could just let them carry on but I don't think they should be able to get away with it. I do believe they should be paying child support for her they r on benefits and it wouldn't be much. I think they should be making some sort of contribution to their daughters life, its just relly shocking.

I would say they bring in more money than us a week between benefits and dodgy deals and P/T work its disguisting

Having been through (and still going through) something VERY similar myself, I can help with a few of your questions if you'd like to PM me

But basically, you can claim an Unsupported Childs Benefit- you don't need legal guardianship for this but you will probably need a letter from the childs parents saying they give you custody- even if it is just for the interim. BTW...you also don't need their permission to gain legal custody of the child if you want to do this later down the track although it makes life ALOT easier.

 As for the benefit, WINZ will see (if you don't point it out- which I would!) that the child is having 2 benefits claimed on her behalf and will soon stop the other. We went through this exact thing ourselves with our wee boy. 

I won't pretend it is easy but the satisfaction you get knowing you are giving a child a good start in life who otherwise wouldn't have had a hope is very rewarding. Children are remarkably adaptable and IMO know when they are better out of some situations! Esp. when those situations include drugs and alcohol.

Good luck

Thanks for all the helpful information! They want the 2 year old and say they can cope with her. hmmm I don't know but to get one out is a start.

Good luck Jess, its a wonderful thing you are thinking of doing.

I hope it all works out for the best.