Just don’t know what to do

Sounds tough. Is there anything she does like about school? Maybe talking more about the things she can look forward to might distract from the things she doesn't like. For some kids playtime/lunch is the best part of the day...

Obviously McKayla is not even near going to school but we have looked after Grants cousin's kids for quite a while (long story) and it was the boys 3rd year in school and the girls first year in school and they missed two weeks before they were even entered into school (long family nonsense) and then after another two weeks came to stay with us so had to move schools again. The boy moved a few schools in previous 2 years so was behind in quite a few things.

I found both of them absolutely hated like really hated going to school The girl really broke my heart as she would scream and dig her fingernails in me.

Now what helped (started getting better after a month) was to have a chat on Sundays about it being school again the next day ect. Make stuff fun. Give a nice treat for the next day and then again on Wed and then Friday. They have something to look forward too. Dont give sweets at all over weekends and at home.

Other thing that worked is at night I will have a chat and asked them to tell me three things that happened today that was great at school Now obviously they will struggle with this sometimes, specially if they hate school But simple stuff like asking them did they chat to anyone new today? Did they do any artwork ect. And before you know it you would have lead them into answering the question and later they will look for other positive things.

Asking the teacher to have a five minute chat with you once a week just to touch base. Now sometimes teachers can be too busy. Ask her just to take a minute and write down on a Friday in a book about how it went with Caitlyn ect. If you can ask them to tell you what they will concentrate on the next week so you can prepare her for it a bit better. Then as well go back in previous weeks stuff and go through it with her. You will quickly see where she has some trouble and work with her on it. But not like school like. Play games around with it.

Example: The little girl say we call her W. She hated hated reading. They actually started really quickly as well. They get a few sentences and then clip the words out and must make their own sentences. Now she could "read" the sentence due to memorising but as soon as it was just the words she would hit her head on the table. I just played rock school. Okay that is now just a direct translation from AFrikaans to English. But what it is is she sits at the bottom of the stairs. She gets one word. If she can read it then she move up a class. If not then she drops a class. Start with stuff she actually knows and then what she doesnt put in here and there. They so quickly get it. Or playing jumping games and where she land with her feet read. You can do this with maths ect. Sometimes making up a song works.

Hope it helps you a tiny bit at least.

I haven't read the other responses so sorry if i'm repeating what anyone else has said.

Since you've already spoken with the teacher, I would speak with the principal and ask that you have a meeting with both the principal and Caitlyn's teacher. I would outline what is going on at home and what you think the issues could be. I wouldn't attack the teacher but would approach it in a "how can we all work together to help Caitlyn enjoy school more". You might be able to do some extra work with her at home, they might be able to put her in the reading recovery programme (which will help her writing etc). If she is enjoying/not hating it so much, i'm sure her issues with the day being too long will sort themselves out. Good luck and hugs for both of you

ETA: And I would maintain a weekly catch up with the teacher until things were sorted. It's really important to keep in very regular touch with the school when there is an issue and just increasing the time between catch ups when things are running smoothly.

Edited by Leish

Do you mean the teacher is not very empathetic or me , if you are saying the teacher is not very empathetic that is why I suggested going on the school PTA because once Amy's mum did it the teacher concerned was much more empathetic towards Amy because she knew her Mum was on the school PTA

I'm a bit too lazy to read the other responses.

My only bit to add though is if she and you thinks shes behind in some areas maybe do some work with her at home but make it really fun. Learning to read and write etc can be really fun and made to be undaunting if you use your imagination.

Big hugs Kelly! We've had similar dramas over not wanting to go to preschool, but I think that was that she was well ready to move up to school rather than anything else, and now she is at school she hates weekends coz there's no school! (Long may it continue!)

I think Leish has some constructive ideas, involving the principal is a good plan and (don't hate me Kelly!) your Mum is right to some degree too. *ducks*

I think the most important thing is not to let Caitlyn know that it's getting to you, coz she will feed off that and it could make things worse. Hard I know!

I really hope that Caitlyn is able to start enjoying school soon coz she's got a long time left to spend there and it would be awful if she spent the whole time hating it

thanks for your replys everyone , some very helpful advice :-)

I also talked to her friend's mum tonight, and her friend had the same teacher last year and her mum had similar problems with her daughter and going to school at the start of last year, and she gave me heaps of good advice , so im not naive and expecting miracles tomorrow,but C and I have had a chat about the things she does like at school (friends, playing, art etc) and she told me what she wants to write tomorrow to go with her picture and we have practised writing it, so im feeling more in control, which is good.

I'll let you know tomorrow how i get on , wish me luck!!

shaz, that must have been really hard, my best mate got arthritis when she was 6 and was always missing school and fell really far behind and then her confidence dropped etc and she hated school and had a miserable time right up until she left highschool, so as hard as it would have been for you (especially knowing she was being teased) you did the best thing for her in the long run, heart goes out to you tho, am glad C hasnt had to deal with any playground dramas (yet.....)

Wow - I don't have advice (and yeah, OK, I don't want to get in the middle of it!) but I did want to say that that sounds really draining on you, Kelly, and however it is that this works out (I'm sure it'll get better), big hugs to you, because it can't be easy on a mum. 

better....not great, still begged to stay home,but no tears and definetly not as bad as yesterday , i just stayed calm and positive about it and we focussed on what she was looking forward to that day .
Will just take some hard work, but thats what parentings all about, and if it gets too much-well , i'll just come on here to vent :-P

kelly (caitlynsmygirl)

Yay Caitlyn, sounds like things are looking up!