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jack_&_charli
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Topic: help! anyone had 2 c-sections? Posted: 16 October 2006 at 3:56pm |
i know this could just be my body adjusting to just having a baby etc but i really am feeling quite down at the moment and if my thoughts get away from me, i start to cry.
charli was my last chance at having a vaginal birth and everything was looking great. she was head down from early on, labour progressed really well, not too long and i was coping without any pain relief. however things turned at the last moment and i was rushed off for another c-section. at the time, i kept telling myself...at least i had a labour and i got to push for a little while so i now know what it's like, but since i've been home, those thoughts are not comforting me.
when i think back to how close i was to pushing her out, i get upset and when i look at her, i start to cry. even talking about it, like now, i'm teary.
so, has anyone else who has had c-sections felt the same?? i'm sure it's normal and will pass
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jack_&_charli
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Posted: 16 October 2006 at 3:59pm |
just wanted to add......if anyone has had their first c-section and hoping for a VBAC next time, please don't worry, alot of women carry on to deliver vaginally next time  i don't want to upset any of you
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Roksana
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Posted: 16 October 2006 at 4:03pm |
Vanessa....  ....look at Charli....is she not the most beautiful little thing you have ever seen??? She is healthy and happy and thats all that matters. How she came out is not sooo important!
I was like you...I was going to have VB but at the end of it I was happy with a C Section as I had a healthy baby at the end of it! I would love a VB for my next, but if it does not happen...it wont matter as long as I have a happy & healthy bub!
You are a brave, strong woman, who has done sooooooo well. Please dont think as if this is some how a bad thing!!
We are all here for you....
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nikkitheknitter
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Location: Westie
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Posted: 16 October 2006 at 4:04pm |
Damnit. Just typed a big post and the frigging thing didn't work.
Anyway...
Vanessa, I think you did a brilliant job getting as far as you did. Births have that horrible nature of working against everything you plan for  And it is entirely normal to be really emotional at this point... I think with me it was being a single mama that used to set me off crying every few minutes (that and losing my toothbrush).
I don't mean to dismiss your concerns, but don't be too worried about feeling teary about it at this stage. Mention it to your midwife when she next comes and she can reassure you... or if it continues to be a major concern, refer you to someone who can provide help. But remember that most of all you are a wonderful mother, and that is more important than any birth experience.
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susieq
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Posted: 16 October 2006 at 10:48pm |
Hi,
I am now a Nana, my daughter Kelly writes on here sometimes, she has a daughter Caitlyn
When Kelly was born she was an emergency Ceasarean, my son Cameron ended up being a ceasarean after a trial of labour and my daughter Kate was a ceasarean as well.
When they were younger we had a group here in Auckland called the Auckland Caesarean Support group offering support to Mums who had had C/S and likd you felt down about having had 1 or 2 and we had a couple of Mums who even ended up having 5 C/S and some in our group who ended up having V/B after C/S one such Mum who had a V/B if I remember rightly after a C/S is now a practising midwife in West Auckland and if there are any Mums out in West Auckland who want a V/B after a C/S her name is Bunny Cummings, just be sure to tell her that Sue McGehan who used to be in the Caesarean Support Group with her put you guys onto her[:)] [:)]
Edited by susieq
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nuttymama
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Posted: 17 October 2006 at 7:06am |
I felt quite down after my C-section and it will pass, just look at it this way.
Whether you give birth naturally or need medical help you have still given your daughter the greatest gift any mother can and thats life.
I like to think now that everything happens for a reason, you just may never know why but try not to be too hard on yourself, you sound like a great mum which is far more important achievement than a natural birth.
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Abigail 06/01/2005
Jayden 21/11/2001
Micheal 03/04/1997
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Two Blondinis
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Posted: 17 October 2006 at 9:20am |
I was a bit upset too after I had Caitlin by CS. I managed to labour at home to 9.5cms without any pain relief. Got to hospital and it basically went pear shaped from there (had a 17 hour non-progressing 2nd stage with lots of complications). I was gutted that I had managed to get so far along.
My MW is such an amazing lady and came to see us in hopital where we all (Me & DH and my Mum (my birth partners))talked about what happend and she set me straight that there was nothing I could have done differently, it's just the way nature works.
I now look at my beautiful daughter who arrived safe and sound and wonder why I worried so much about HOW she got here.
Maybe you could have a chat with your MW/Spec? I know that helped me heaps to put everything into perspective. I don't feel like I have failed her or myself, I managed to look after her just fine when she was in me, that alone is a huge achievement.
Look after yourself and your precious baby
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toniellis
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Posted: 17 October 2006 at 11:29am |
Hi Vanessa. I had my 2nd emergency c-section just over 4 months ago now.
I was all keen for a VBAC & I was reassured that everything was fine Bubs was in a good position yadda yadd yadd...
I managed to go into labour all by myself (didn't do that last time) and within 6 hours I was 5 cms dilated & everything was looking so good! 3 hours later though I was told that I hadn't progressed any further, so off for a another c-section I went.
At the time I was like "okay no big deal at least I tried".
But now when I run things over in my head there are so many things I would have done differently & I'm really quite bitter I didn't even get to the pushing stage. I didn't have a midwife I knew with me & I think that made a huge difference because I didn't want to argue with the doctor by myself.
Also, while I have no intention of having any more babies at this stage, if I did have another one then I would be trying for a VBA2C! There is a lady on the TradeMe parenting messageboard who has had 6 c-sections and for has been trying for a VB for the last 2 & also planning one for her next baby (once he/she is conceived). She has done HEAPS of research & gave me lots of info of how I could do things different to up my chances and also about the risks of trying again after a failed trial of labour.
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Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6)
Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate
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jack_&_charli
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Posted: 17 October 2006 at 4:09pm |
thanks everyone for your messages and support. i had a good talk with my midwife today who assured me that there was nothing i could've done to prevent the
c-section, it was all down to charli turning posterior and holding her head up instead.
she 'ordered' me to have 2 days in bed to rest emotionally as well as physically and have dean run around after me.
toniellis, i was telling myself the same at the time 'okay no big deal at least I tried' but i've had more time to think about it now and reflect and it really does upset me. i hope that you do get your VBAC next time if you have anymore. we are not having anymore kids and if i do get preggy again, it will have to be an elective c-section because of the 2 c-sections and the tear to my uterus
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luna
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Posted: 17 October 2006 at 4:20pm |
Hiya
I had an emergency C-section after a 40 hour labour. Amelia is my first baby, but it didn't stop me from crying (I tried really hard not to) when they told me I'd have to have a c-section because she went posterier when I was 9½cms.
She then had breathing problems and was whisked off to intensive care for 12 hours, so I then had that to deal with as well.
It's really hard when you have your heart set on birthing a particular way, and totally natural to feel upset about the outcome. I don't have any real advice for you to make you feel better, but we are here to listen if you need us. Hope you feel better soon - remember you only gave birth a week ago and will still have thousands of those frigging hormones running around!
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Paws
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Posted: 17 October 2006 at 5:15pm |
I must admit, although I didn't have a birth plan and just wanted Maddie out safely, I am a little disappointed that I didn't make it through with a VB.
It took a while to realise that I did come pretty close really, laboured to 8cm with no pain relief and it hadn't been for the fact that I stopped there and Maddie was facing the wrong way, I could have made it through with only gas. I have thought several times "if only I had just dialated those last 2cms and Maddie had turned".
But in the end I know I would also have been risking a ruptured uterus (which we didn't know about until the c-section was done) so I know the c-section was preferrable to the alternative. And I remind myself that I do have something to be proud of for making it as far as I did with no pain relief - even if I thought I was being a total wuss yelling the place down  , apparently I wasn't anywhere near as loud as I thought I was!
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